I saw an advance screening and have to say, if I had paid for this movie, I'd be more upset. It's a mess. What's more it literally shits on both Prometheus and Alien fans because it either takes elements that were heavily criticized and makes them worse, abandons some themes and plotlines that were interesting, and actually retcons established canon.
I'm going to say right here - I enjoyed both the Alien movies and Prometheus. I liked nearly all the films in the franchise. Sure, some are better than others but I try to see them as they are. This movie though is a trainwreck. Someone else needs to take the helm of this franchise because it's clear Scott doesn't know what he's doing.
- At the beginning of the movie Daniels is lamenting about building a log cabin because she doesn't know how to use a hammer and "real" nails. Really, in 2100, humans have lost the basic ability to swing a hammer? And, even if you accept that in this universe, why does she ask for AND USE an axe later in the film?? Axes and hammers function in the same basic way.
- Technology and basic physics are unrealistic and contradictory. Neutrino pulses somehow destroy or harm physical matter like solar sails. There is "space turbulence" and yet the majority of the ships cryopods are hung up and freely able to swing in a universe where "space turbulence" is a thing. Cryopods that are essentially refrigerators suddenly and inexplicably "malfunction" and turn into high-temperature crematory ovens. The ship features "communications buffers" that allow it to NOT pick up wideband interstellar communications. However, the exosuits feature short range comms that CAN pick up wideband interstellar communications if they are outside the "buffer" zone. The Mother AI is able to piece together a garbled and fractured communication of alien origin, yet cannot make communications clear while in orbit because there's a big storm. Decades-long colonization scans run on the sector fail to pick up the Engineer planet, yet the ship immediately picks it up, scans it, and shows its viability. A colony ship of 2000 people features ONE passenger shuttle and ONE cargo lander.
- The colonists make EXTREMELY stupid decisions and often do so just moments after doing something completely different. Pilot locks Oren's wife in the medbay, comes back to watch, goes away again to retrieve a gun, opens the medbay door (clearly seeing Oren's wife is now dead) and then proceeds to walk into the medbay even though she is carrying a ranged weapon and killing it now makes no difference. Copilots 1&2 continually try to get Tennessee to keep the ship at a safe distance but then seconds later approve his override to bring the ship in close.
- Clumsy, amateurish Christian symbolism. Oren has a big exposition on how he's a "man of faith" and viewed by the others as "an extremist" and this goes...nowhere. His consequent actions aren't motivated by faith, but by his own lack of self-esteem. David crucifies one of his xeno creations and lays a halo-like facehugger thing around Shaw's head like the Virgin Mary. Daniels carries an old iron nail around her neck and stabs David with it and this wound is "miraculously cured" in the final scene.
- David is able to perform extensive genetic manipulation and hybridization with NO technology and NO sterile environment. He makes a "perfect organism" that requires a critical component that is totally unavailable on the planet and there is highly unlikely to come around anytime soon. Meanwhile, the Spore Pods that have formed naturally (and resultant Protomorphs) are much more virulent, well established, and quicker to develop.
- David genocides the Engineer city and experiments on Shaw because...daddy issues. He "creates" the Xenos...even though both Prometheus and Alien have already established that they existed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. This retcon makes Midichlorians look sensible.
- We are treated to some ham-fisted and incredibly shallow philosophical meaning behind David's actions. "He's quoting Shelley! Look how deep this movie is!" You know that kid in high school who took Intro to Literature and then started quoting random poetry to get people to think they were so smart? That's this movie.
- The Crossing trailers were a massive bait-and-switch marketing technique by Scott and Fox. Probably the most underhanded and egregious example of attempting to get audiences to return for a sequel I've ever seen. Shaw is casually discarded off-screen, a strong protagonist who (literally) becomes just a vessel for sexual reproduction. I'm amazed more feminists aren't screaming bloody murder. No matter your social or political views, it's a cheap way to discard a character and actually raises even further issues with David's backstory. Did he kill Shaw or did she die? If she died, did he feel the motivation to use her body as a ghoulish and backward way of "honoring" her? Did she see what he had done to the Engineers and freaked out? Did she purposely crash the Juggernaut to prevent David from leaving the planet? We don't know because apparently, even after hyping this as a sequel to Prometheus, Shaw becomes cannon fodder for Scott's insistence on focusing on David's story.
- This film should be called "Blade Runner: Covenant". It is the Michael Fassbender movie. He admittedly does an amazing job acting the role, but the filmmaker focuses on him, his creation, and "what it means to be human" to the detriment of everything (and everyone) else. I can't help but think that, behind the scenes, Scott was passed over for BR 2049 in favor of Villenevue, so he said "fuck it" and made this, tacking on the Alien trappings as an afterthought.
- The fully formed chestburster scene was treated with more respect for the original films 30 years ago in Spaceballs
- If David's primary motivation is getting off planet and infecting the crew, why does he not only fail to help those on planet, but actually proceeds to actively hinder their rescue??? Why does he infect Oren with a Xenomorph who he knows is going to begin killing off members of the away team? Why does he do nothing to assist Daniels and Tennessee in fighting off the Xenomorph on the cargo shuttle?
- If he does want to kill off the crew to get at the cryopods and embryos, why does he actively assist in helping them fight off the Xeno onboard the colony ship? Why does he do exactly what is asked and purposely lead it into an ambush? Why does he let Daniels and Tennessee back into the airlock?
- Overuse of bad CGI in brightly lit environments. It's not scary, it's not effective, and it takes all tension away. Less CGI; more practical effects and use of lighting.
- For Alien fans, it makes the Xenomorphs/facehuggers look weak and not dangerous. The acid blood eats through multiple decks in Aliens. Here, it just makes a little hole in one guy's jaw that's easily patched up and a crane arm sizzle. It's also SLOW. The Alien casually striding into the hangar bay on its hind legs was almost comical. The albino Protomorphs are far more fast, deadly, and feral. These should have been David's creations.
- The weapons in this movie are much too modern and recognizable. It's 2100 and Marines are sporting Pulse Carbines and Smart Guns, but you want me to believe that civilian firearms have barely changed from 100 year old AR-15s? It's like Blackwater Mercs in 2002 Iraq carrying around WW1-era bolt action rifles and Lewis machineguns. At least Prometheus had a somewhat lesser known and more futuristic looking Walther pistol.
- The "sexual"/"homoerotic"/"incestuous" banter between Walter and David is incredibly cringey. You can tell in his performance that Fassbender was not on board with how it was directed. I can understand the motivation behind exploring it but the way its done is just so over the top, it's actually rather insulting to the audience and detracts from the point it attempts to make.
- Covenant causes the germination of the entirety of the Aliens franchise to hinge on one localized cosmic event and then a very random and convenient series of related events that just seem to happen and have no basis in reality or in-universe canon.
- The plot (and the "twists") can be figured out within the first 30 minutes of the movie. It feels unnecessary; a vehicle to get from point A (Prometheus) to point B (Alien).
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Prometheus' exploration of the themes of nihilism vs. faith are entirely discarded. For all its faults, Prometheus sets up an interesting, almost Lovecraftian mythos to the Aliens universe that has been abandoned in favor of amateurish religious symbolism mixed with a healthy dose of Freudian parent problems.
Inevitably, people are going to reply hand-waving away all these problems because they interpreted the movie differently, but that's the problem - it's an interpretation. I'm trying to relate them issues the movie presents as it presents them (or, more often, doesn't). I probably missed a bunch of other issues and plotholes, so please add more if you have them.
Submitted May 19, 2017 at 11:26PM by EldarCorsair http://ift.tt/2qzKAak movies
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