Egg on your face pettyrevenge

My girlfriend was having a stressful day so I invited her out for a bike ride around the park, then finished it off with some ice cream and a sunset. As we're about to separate and ride to our own apartments, some lady starts yelling at my girlfriend for passing too closely.

Dressed in heels and business casual, she must have had a bad day at work or a shitty date because she was clearly waiting for a reason to yell at someone, anyone. She just keeps cussing and relentlessly being a raging bitch, calling out all sorts of horrible insults. I turned my bike around and tried to tell her to calm down before it was apparent this lady had no idea what the concept of calm or polite was at this moment. We decided it was a lost cause, I kissed my girlfriend goodbye, and we rode our separate ways.

Not content with being generally bitchy, this lady insisted on being actually malevolent and yelled, "I hope you both get hit by traffic and die!" Now she crossed the line. Be a bitch to my girlfriend? Fuck you. Wish injury or death on my girlfriend? Now you're going to learn a lesson.

I booked it as fast as I could to my apartment about a half mile away, ditched my bike outside, ran into my kitchen, and grabbed a single egg out of the refrigerator. I had the exact image of this she-devil engraved in my mind, pedaling hard back towards the park. I quickly scanned a few blocks in the general direction she was headed and there she was, walking up to a street corner. Egg in hand, I rode up behind her and said, "Hey, what gives you the right to be so rude to complete strangers? I don't know where you're from but here, we don't act that way."

Surprisingly, she calmly turned around slowly started to say that we were rude in not following proper bike etiquette. Taken aback by her sudden reasonable attitude, I slyly pocketed the egg, thinking I could talk this out and get a civil apology. When I told her that she was wrong to overreact and lose her temper, I must have reignited the fires within. She exploded, yelling, "You and that cunt need to learn some respect!"

I grabbed the egg from my pocket, cracked it over the handlebars, (and for extra gooeyness crushed it in my hand a little) and flung the broken yolk, shell and all in her face and over her blouse. As she started to lunge at me I began pedaling away and yelled, "You're the cunt, and you deserved that!"

Over-react, insult my girlfriend, tell us to die, then tell us to be respectful? Well, now you've got egg on your face.

Submitted May 23, 2017 at 11:01AM by 808state http://ift.tt/2rvRUVx pettyrevenge