No idea if he reddits so this is not my regular account, just in case. Long time lurker first time poster. I'm hoping you guys can tell me if I am actually in the wrong here or if he is acting out of line.
Bit of background. So my roommate (RM) and I have been living in a 2 bedroom condo for the last 1.5 years. I have known RM for about 5 years. We met through mutual friends, and until now we were really close. We only moved into together out of necessity. Originally he was supposed to move in with his brother but his brother decided at the last moment that he was not going to move. At the time I was also looking for a roommate. We decided to rent a two bedroom condo together near where we both work. The first year was good with no issues.
However ever since December things have started to go downhill and now I am seriously at my wits end. My boyfriend commented on the way he talks to me last night and I told him I hate it too. I've tried to have a conversation with RM several times about how he talks to me and how I don't appreciate it and he needs to stop talking to me like I'm a lower than him and treat me like an equal. This always leads to an argument and I end up feeling like I did something wrong. What drove me to post on here will come later.
Here are a few examples of topics that have caused arguments.
Instead of asking me if I wouldn't mind vacuuming or sweeping the floors he tells me that I need to sweep or vacuum the floors. But if I ask him to do it he tells me that he home too late doesnt want to bother our neighbors. He doesn't go to work until 11am and gets home about 7ish. But no matter how many times i've tried to make a schedule that works for both of us it leads to an argument.
He gets frustrated that "I" leave things on the dining room table and tells me I need to clean up more but when I go to clean up 95% of the stuff on the table is his. I ask him to pick it up he never does.
If I leave dishes in the sink he gets huffy about it but I find dishes of his in the sink all the time. He will ask me if I'm going to do my (with and emphases on the my) dishes, but if I ask the same of him it's there are no mine or your dishes only community dishes.
He also has a cat. I like cats but I'm more of a dog owner. I told him when we moved in that the cat would be his responsibility and that I am not responsible for cleaning up the litter box or hair balls or anything. I don't mind putting food and water down but that's it.
He hasn't habit of not cleaning his cats litter box often enough lately and it starts to smell. I have done it before (mainly because I feel bad for the cat) but I have asthma and when I change the cat litter it bothers me. If I tell him hey you need to clean the cat box it's really starting to smell he will angry saying I don't have to say it like I'm insinuating he's a bad owner. When frankly if you're letting your cats litter box build up that much yes I do think that.
Another note on the cat he recently bought a new litter box or him but it's much smaller than his old one and the cat has a habit of keeping the litter out of the box all over the hardwood floors. He rarely sweeps this up and it's got starting to crack into my room which is really annoying to be walking over tiny pieces of litter. I've told him this and his response is I don't have the money right now.
He also likes to tell me what to do, or tries to give me advise but if I don't do what he says he belittles my choices. Everything but what he said to do wrong or dumb. Like what kind of car i should buy, or where I buy groceries.
What really pushed me over the edge happen today. I like to make corn beef in the slow cooker I put it on before I go to work in the morning and by the time I get home it's ready and delicious. So this morning before I went to work I put up the corn beef into the crockpot. My boyfriend loves corn beef so I was going to surprise him for his birthday.
When I came home immediately I knew there was something wrong the house didn't smell like corn beef at all and it should have. I looked in the kitchen in the pot from the crockpot was in the refrigerator. I checked it and it hasn't cooked at all. I looked at the heating part of the crockpot and the plug is sitting in the well (the part the pot sits in) and not plugged in.
I called up my roommate and I asked him if he unplugged my crockpot. He told me that when he came down in the morning it wasn't plugged so he just moved it to the fridge. Well I know I plugged it in, double checked it right before I left and it was warming up. I asked him why he didn't plug it back in and he told me he couldn't find the plug. The plug was sitting inside the well the only way that happened was if he put it there because the pot would not have sat inside the well if the cord was there. When I asked him why he wouldn't give me a call then because he knew that was supposed to be a surprise dinner ( I would have ran home during lunch to fix it) he told me if it was really that important I should've done it myself.
I know I'm not crazy and I know I turned it on. I don't know why he did this but I'm so angry. I'm sick of living on eggshells nothing I do is ever good enough or clean enough and now this.
Am I overreacting? About the dinner or about anything he has been doing? Or is he out line. If he is out of line what should I do. Anytime I bring up something that bugs me he flips out and makes me feel like am a terrible person who does nothing. I'm at a loss and could use some outside opinions.
Sorry if this seems jumbled, this was the tip of iceberg and I'm very angry now.
tl;dr roommate orders me around and talks to me like he is my father or bass and sabatged my surprise birthday dinner for my boyfriend. Am I overreacting or is he out of line?
Submitted May 21, 2016 at 03:52AM by UnsureRoommate http://ift.tt/1rZPvPu relationships
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