I know, I should find a way to get out and it would solve the majority of my problems but I can't as of right now so here we are.
I've never had a great relationship with my parents. We never fought or anything they were just...absent you could say. Tuning out during conversations, not saying hello when I've come home, never expressed interest in my hobbies, ect. My dad has extremely opposing political views and they're both fake religious. I don't think I've ever had a real parent/offspring talk with them. It's weird to me when I see my friends go out to brunch with their moms or they talk about how their dad is like their best friend. I just don't get it.
They don't really have a good relationship with each other either but that's a whole other thread. To the meat of it then!
I came to the realization last night that I have no way to connect with my parents. It started with my dad watching the presidential address and scoffing the whole way through. So I made the mistake of asking why even bother watching it if he wasn't actually going to watch it, if you know what I mean. It really just dissolved and made me realize that my father has no hobbies, no friends, no interests and is basically a vessel for Fox news.
Beyond that I've realized I'm always making jokes to lighten the mood, I'm the one thinking of activities we can do together or places that are cheap we can go to, I try to bring up topics about nature, ect I've found interesting and get the bare minimum back. On the other hand if I'm gone for long periods of time they make me feel bad for it...say I tell my mom I have plans for the 12th then a day later she says a family outing is happening on the 12th then I feel guilty because I bug them up the wall to get out and DO something then I can't go when they do. I feel like I'm in a negative feedback loop and for the first time started experiencing anxiety and depression.
How am I supposed to live with these people? I have no conversations that will ever go beyond the "How was your day" and it's really fucking weird because they're my parents and I literally can't talk with them about anything. I feel as if I have to try with them because living in a house where I flat out don't talk to the people I live with seems ridiculous. We don't fight and they've never outright done something to hurt me but it's becoming suffocating. Has anyone experienced this? Should I just put my head down until I can get out and treat them like ghostly roommates? Am I just not seeing how they connect to other people? They're always telling me what food we have in the refrigerator so maybe that's their way of showing they care?? I don't know.
TL;DR-Living with my parents and struggling with connecting with them in any meaningful way-how can I change this or at least learn to live with it until I get out?
Submitted December 07, 2015 at 11:25PM by kunderakisses http://ift.tt/1NFZBrQ relationships
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