Fuck rolling out of bed at 8 a.m. Fuck having tossed and turned all night. Fuck realizing the only reason I'm about to get some groceries for my empty-ass refrigerator is because my best friend shares his food stamps with me. Fuck the crazy motherfuckers driving like assholes literally everywhere as I'm trying to get to work early so I can get a project done and be ready to run my shift. Fuck the girl who came in an hour late because she read the schedule wrong and didn't verify that she indeed worked today, and fuck her again for copping attitude. Fuck knowing that her brother killed himself a few months ago, but having to call her out for her shoddy work ethic and bad attitude. Fuck having to send her home so she can get her head right, and fuck her one more time for trying to come back arguing while I'm trying to get my team caught up with the extra work load my choice left them with.
Fuck feeling like a complete asshole, in spite of my remaining coworkers telling me they understood and agreed with my decision. Fuck feeling this greatful, and sucking up the overwhelming anxiety attack so I could get everybody through the night as best as I could. Fuck having to take an advance from my boss so I can get gas to come to work tomorrow because I'm so fucking broke.
Fuck coming home to find a note from my landlord telling me they didn't receive the money order that I left in the dropbox on the date I told them I would have it for them. Fuck the one that I love for coming over, for getting upset while we waited for weed, and then giving the money to a meth addict who said he was with the guy. Fuck the one that I love for throwing my keys at me and storming out. Fuck catching up to them meeting in the hall, and the dude saying he gave the weed to someone else. Fuck the one that I love for trying to jump him, fuck holding them back, and fuck him for pulling a fucking knife. Fuck my love for fucking leaving immediately after while this fucking sack of shit is still nearby, and fuck being made to feel like shit for defending and protecting my love from the scum that creep in my slum of a fucking apartment building.
And fuck that same friend who bought my groceries for showing up with a little bit of weed after all this other madness, because he's the best fucking person I know and he doesn't fucking realize it.
Submitted December 11, 2015 at 11:24AM by NRageTheBeast http://ift.tt/1lToGt8 offmychest
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