There are certain customers that you deliver to who stick out for whatever the reason might be? You remember them even years after your last delivery to them.
For me, one of those customers happens to be Ms. Shirley.
Ms. Shirley is a single older woman, probably in her late sixties to early seventies? She's hooked up to oxygen and partially disabled. She lives in one of those affordable living apartment buildings with income adjusted rents. Primarily old people, disabled, etc.
She's a sweet old woman. She might be Native American, because she's given me those Indian "Dream Catchers" that you're suppose to hang over your bed a few times after she forgets she's already given me a couple already.
I've been delivering to her regularly for four years. Sometimes four days per week. Usually it's smaller orders in the afternoon when we're not too busy. However, she's one of our best delivery customers. I counted 50 deliveries to her since May this year! The best thing about her is you can show up two hours late and she could care less. Just happy to have her food.
Unfortunately, she's on limited income and food stamps, and she's almost never tips. Never for the first three years, anyway. Fortunately she's less than a mile from the store, so it's not too much of an inconvenience. Plus, better to get out for a few minutes when it's slow rather than be stuck working in the store.
Over the years, we've established a business friendship, I guess you could say? We always chat for a few minutes and maybe share a joke? You can tell she's pretty lonely and happy to see somebody? I figure it's the least I can do to brighten her day before the grim reaper inevitably comes calling.
In the time I've delivered to her, I've routinely taken her mail to the drop box. I've taken out the trash, and even helped get her Christmas decorations out of her bedroom closet one time. Even when I know there's almost never a tip! I guess I look at as a small thing I can do to help somebody else in need? Doing a good deed. I'll occasionally bring her free food that's going to be thrown in the dumpster, anyway. Usually it's after I've delivered the day before and she tells me she's going without medication this week because she needs to have enough money to eat. Her refrigerator is always close to empty.
Ms. Shirley has a problem though.... Probably more than one, but I don't know exactly what her medical conditions are? The problem is leakage. Not like leaking pipes in the place, but leaking bowels to be exact! Perhaps accompanied by some bladder incompetence?
When I've delivered in recent months, I couldn't help but notice the strong oder of human urine. It got increasingly worse every visit. Eventually, the smell of feces gradually started mixing into the aroma wafting through the small closed up apartment. As the weeks went on, I started to see urine and dung stains on the carpets. One time there was even a poo footprint coming out of the bathroom! The oder was becoming so overwhelming it wasn't pleasant to be in there very long.
One day I come over for a delivery. We have a chit chat for a few minutes, and as I'm leaving she stops me and asks me I can answer a question? She wants me to be completely honest.
She asks if there's any kind of bad oder in the apartment? She says the building manager had stopped by on complaints of a foul smell. When she came into the apartment to investigate, they were alarmed by the smell and told the woman she had a week to remedy the problem and they would be coming back to follow up!
I didn't even know how to answer! I couldn't be completely honest! I thought as quick as a could, and the first thing out of my mouth was that " No, maybe a little musty? I've been in much worse. You probably just need to open the windows and get some air flowing through?" I pretend to keep sniffing the air very nonchalantly, acting like I can barely notice anything.
I assured her that it wasn't that bad and went on acting completely ignorant of the problem. I was never so glad get out of there. It was more awkward than walking in on your parents having sex!
A week goes by and she orders again. I go over, she buzzes me in, and I come into the living room. She's sitting in her chair with a blanket over her lap. It appears things have been cleaned up? Oder isn't as strong. She doesn't bring up the topic again.
As we go to do our transaction, she drops her credit card under her seat and has to swivel around to pick it up. It's then that I notice she's completely naked from the waist down! I'm staring right down her pale, wrinkled and overweight butt crack! -think 65 year old cottage cheese- All the blanket covered was her lap! I almost lost my lunch. She was completely oblivious to the fact she was essentially naked and giving me a damn good look. All the while I'm maintaining a straight face and keeping my composure. Acting like there's nothing out of the ordinary. She's usually pretty sharp! How can she be oblivious, I'm thinking to myself?
She seemed a little slower that day? I'm not sure if she was on pain pills, maybe? Perhaps I was standing on top of her oxygen hose too long? (I did do that once before) It hasn't happened again since, though! Regardless, I'll never forget what I saw! The smells of human excrement and urine suddenly didn't seem so bad. A first world problem.
I've continued to deliver to her regularly. Fortunately, at least up to this point there hasn't been a repeat of the incident. I guess there's always tomorrow, though?
Submitted September 22, 2015 at 12:24AM by DominosGoneIndy http://ift.tt/1FpNnpJ TalesFromThePizzaGuy
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