I work as a Security Agent at a nice 4 star hotel in *** *******. My office is where the cages of alcohol are for the various outlets on property. In the office there are a few coolers and these last few days I've noticed a wretched odor escaping the refrigerators every time someone came and went. Being the hero the hotel needed- but wasn't ready for- I took the initiative to investigate the source and decided the stench was coming from this rather sizable half-torn garbage bag filled with molding cheese- like inches of blue and green fuzzy, hairy mold. Unlabeled, I figured it was old and forgotten and that no one would miss it. So naturally, I did the unthinkable and dumpstered the rank cheese with not so much as a second thought. After my vigilant, some would say heroic actions, I returned to the office and began sorting through the day's emails. Well...... this is where things get interesting.
In the previous day's handover (hotel slang for shift report), there was mention of a VIP in house who had over $1,500 worth of this shoe stank cheese shipped to the hotel the previous Friday for safe travels to the states. (This was a Tuesday.) They were apparently on some exquisite cheese and wine tour for the following week. Needless to say, I knew what had to be done. I had to dumpster dive for very expensive foreign cheese. Enough time had elapsed between my dumping the cheese and realizing the huge fork up that I was certain I was going to have to dumpster dive deeper than I'd ever imagine I would.
Before I removed my coat, I got 3 trash bags and put them inside of each other then made my way to sort through the filth. I dove in feet first ever so carefully, the smell of the dumpster so amplified by this French curd. By this point I had attracted the attention of a compadre to hold this triple-enforced trash bag while I fished out these stupid wheels of cheese. This is the time that the absolute wrong person walks outside right? Right.
GM of entire property walks out for a smoke. I'm a big stupid deer in the headlights. Said compadre drops the trash bags and heads inside- leaving me with two blocks of ass cheese and no where to drop them. GM lights up, says "how's it going," and proceeds to lecture me on just how important this smelly cheese man is. So I'm obviously in the wrong, feeling like a moron for throwing out this dead racoon cheese as I delicately fondle through this trash for every last block of cheese. All the while Boss Man chiefs down his stogie giving me the most disgusted and condescending stares as I climb in and out of the dumpster.
After I retrieved the product and tied a double knot around my triple enforced trash bags, I returned them to the fridge and proceeded as normal. This cheese was- is- so putrid that it still lights up the room despite being inside of THREE whole trash bags and a cooler. Boss Man returns with some water and paper towels and orders me to remove them one by one to wipe them down to make sure to erase all evidence. He grilled me on who else knew about the incident and now I'm scared for their lives.
TL;DR
Threw away $1,000 of smelly cheese from France, had to dig out of dumpster in front of important Boss Man and then thoroughly clean to erase all trace of the time spent in dumpster. Cheese is now gross
Submitted February 21, 2017 at 08:35AM by johndre_3000 http://ift.tt/2lgmbUm tifu
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