Hello r/relationships! I am a long time lurker but first time poster. Had to make a throwaway because my bf uses reddit. Pardon my english, i am not a native speaker!
We started living together 9 months ago, and have had this problem from the start. I love him very much, and apart from his issues i care for him a lot and always try to see if he is happy or is not feeling complete. He had a severe depression, and having gone through the same i care for him a lot.
But, the problem here starts because he says i dont do enough housework, and i do as much as i can or my energy levels allow me.
On the one hand theres my bf. He "works" for his father's business. Both him and his father know his position is not essential for the company. He basically works from home and checks if there is any client in the webpage that has to be deleted, which may happen once every two months. We all know he does not really work. From time to time he may open the computer and check, so anyway, he gets a good paycheck, and i do not judge, i wish i had it that easy but hey, i am proud of my work as well. His father has told him to start looking for a new job since the company is not doing well. Apart from all this, the last few months he strated trying to get his business together. This is a woodworking little shop he wants to start. As he does not have the clients to start, tools, a shop or place to work on, not even a brand he just spends some of his days doing research on providers of wood, etc and printing the info. He has a very organised folder, some tools and that's it.
He also goes swimming on mondays, wednesdays and fridays, from 7pm to 9pm. And finally, he has an OCD. He wants everything clean. And i am a more relaxed kind of person, but i respect the order he wants to have in our house, so i try to leave as little as possible clothes on chairs, etc.
I, on the other hand, work on a law court mondays to fridays from 7.30 am til 2pm. Then i get home, we have lunch together(he is the one usually cooking) i finish cleaning the dishes by 3/3.30pm(food is not usually ready until 2.30pm) and then sleep a 30 minute nap because i am usually very tired (my job is quite demanding and i get up very early), at 6.30pm everyday i get ready and go to school, until 10pm, i get home, have dinner with my SO, finish washing the dishes around 11pm, we watch a movie or a tv series if i am not too tired. I should also add that on mondays and wednesdays i do grocery shopping on my way home.
My SO says i do not do enough things. He cooks(which i really aprecciate since i get home very tired both from school and work), sweeps the floor(we live in a one bedroom/studio apartment) takes the laundry to the laundromat and sometimes buys groceries if they ran out and we need them before i do groceries (we have a small refrigerator so we cant acumulate too much food, so we basically cook everyday). When i take a day off from school or work or am sick i cook, because i am home.
He gets mad at me when i do not do the dishes right after we've eaten(sometimes i choose to wash them after i've napped), and expects me to sweep the floor ina more frequent way.
I should add i have a little bunny i adopted way before i met my SO. He loves him but gets annoyed at having to sweep my bun's little balls of feaces (he may do 4 or 5 ouside his cage where he always pisses and leaves his feaces, this balls are smaller than cereal balls, are hard, and have no odor) and sometimes hair balls, specially in springtime when he changes his hair.
We are having terrible arguements because of this. He passively agressively tells me i do not do enough for the house, that i should sweep more, that he should not be sweeping my bunny's mess. But i tell him the house would not be such mess if he did it once a week. He insist is would be disgusting. A woman we hired comes every two weeks to clean, and i suggested we should tell her to come every week, and he says this would not solve the problem. I am growing tired, dissapointed and really sad he does not give any kind of value to all the work i do apart from study and work. This is my second degree and i am very proud of being capable of studying another career, but i feel he does not support me and cannot seem to communicate with him. He also has an issue with saying things harshly (He is doing therapy and so am i). I wonder if anyone had this issue before and could give me some advice, i would be very thankful.
tl;dr: My bf's OCD is driving me crazy, specting me while i work and study, to do more housework than i can or have the energy for while he does not work at all.
Submitted October 12, 2016 at 08:15AM by UnableToCopeWithThis http://ift.tt/2dbe18O relationships
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