I am back at the weight I started with during high school. After that I lost 33lbs, then gained 85lbs both due to medication. During high school I used to think I was fat, but now I know I'm not. I still have some belly fat I don't like, but I'm happy with how I look. I maybe want to lose some few more pounds, and gain some muscle, but I'm done with actively dieting.
The last years have been rough, but the last 13 months have been very positive, and I'm happy with how things are going. I still tend to focus on all things that do not work out for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing at everything, and then I feel guilty and blame myself for everything. When something positive happens, my head finds something negative about it and gets me to deny the things I accomplished.
Reaching my goal weight is something I did accomplish, and the scale doesn't lie, so negative thoughts: Fuck you! :)
This community is what inspired me to start losing weight, it made me realize that it was possible, and that I could do it too. LoseIt, thank you all, I could not have done it without you! I will stick around here, and will keep reading all of your inspiring stories.
Face before I look so unhappy here.. what a difference.
Most unflattering before pic 206lbs
I didn't gain height since my first post, I just converted my height in cm to feet differently. Google converted 177cm to 5.8 feet and not to 5 feet and 10 inches.
Edit: Added long story about my diet.
Logging all my food was the gamechanger for me. I saw why I ate too much, or actually drank too much. I love fruit juices, lemonade, milk, chocolate milk, and can easily drink 1 or 2 liter a day. That is about 500 - 1500 calories each day. I changed to drinking only water, black coffee, and tea.
I often used to eat just one piece of cheese, or one (or two, or more) handfuls of chocolate sprinkles, or a slice of bacon I found in the fridge. When I started logging all food I stopped doing this, because I didn't want to log this 'little failures/moments of weakness' each time. Now my cravings for these snacks disappeared!
In the first few months I ate 1200 calories a day. Just breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes some yoghurt, only if I really wanted to eat something. No alcohol. I was never (physically) hungry or lightheaded.
I had one rule for myself: I'm allowed to eat whatever I want, chocolate, pizza, ice cream, just eat less than 1200 calories. So when I plan to eat pizza at dinner, I know I will be hungry for the rest of the day, and still feel guilty and feel dirty and fat because I ate pizza. Thinking about this made me often choose to eat something else instead and feel healthy and good about myself!
I love mais bread with cheese and when I have it in my home I want to eat it all day long. So I bought bread I don't like with chicken breast toppings I don't really like. Two slices of bread with toppings are only 178 calories. I eat everything in sight when I have it at home. So I stopped buying these things. Do not buy things you'll regret eating. No more trips to the refrigerator to eat whatever I see first, because the only thing in there are slices of chicken breast that taste funny because these were the cheapest and probably made of so much other stuff than chicken. Oh, the more I eat, the more I want to eat! After a few days of cutting sugar, I lost the sugar cravings. After a few weeks of cutting eating between meals those cravings weakened too. I have nice things in my fridge now, but I just don't want to eat them now because I'm not hungry.
I love cooking and I love vegetables. In my first few months of dieting I cut all sauce and cheese, and much of the fats. I didn't eat less, so no portion control. I just ate the wrong things, so much cheese and fat. I used too much oil and butter to cook, I even cooked my bacon in salted butter (still do this sometimes, but it's so good!).
After I lost 25lbs I went easier on myself. I went to 1500 - 1600 calories a day. I kept logging for maybe two weeks, only to get a feeling of what I could eat until I reached my calorie limit. You can eat chips, pizza, bacon, candy, drink chocolate milk with whipped cream, lemonade, alcohol and still lose weight. Just don't get too crazy, and log the 'treats' and 'this went way too far days' too. Treat yourself once in awhile. Don't do cheat days where you don't log and go bezerk.
I don't like to exercise, but I started fitnessing: both cardio and weights. A year ago I went five times a week, now I try to go once or twice a week. I like fitness because you can do whatever you want at your own time and pace. When I don't want to go I remind myself of the fact that I have never regretted going, but had often regretted not going.
Dieting does suck, especially in the beginning. But it gets so much better. I don't want to over eat anymore, and I lost my constant cravings to sugar and food. When I'm not carefully consider and log everything I eat, I still won't eat more than 2000 calories a day most days. I got used to not over eating and not constantly eating.
What kept me going was the thought: When I eat less than 2000 calories today, I will be thinner tomorrow.
"When I eat/drink this now, I will be over 2000 calories today, and I will be fatter tomorrow than I am now. When I don't eat/drink this I will be thinner tomorrow."
Submitted January 19, 2016 at 10:17PM by Marilyn1618 http://ift.tt/1JXOz5U loseit
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