Sunday, November 8, 2015

Room mate drank my beer pettyrevenge

The story begins a couple days ago, when my dear mother sweetly offered me a small selection of beers to try at my leisure. I chose four, with one in particular that I had not had the pleasure of sampling and was quite looking forward to doing so. Tonight, when I got home, I began to finish the first season of Mr. Robot, and decided to partake. I looked into the refrigerator, where I had obviously stored the beer for cooling purposes, and the one that I was so looking forward to was missing. I sorted through the various other containers and beverages, looking for that one, special (probably mediocre) beer that I wanted, but it was missing. Now, I have two room mates, both of which enjoy the occasional beer, leaving me with the choice; who upon my vengeance must be wrought. I'll call them Bugsy and Mo. Mo and I had been out the previous night and he had acquired a case of hard cider, so reason lead me to believe that he would not have taken the beer, and previous experience assured me that he would at least have asked if it was "cool". Mo was crossed off the list, leaving me with the dastardly Bugsy to deal with. I knew that my act must be swift and strong, for my frustration and disappointment would fade as surely as the brief enjoyment of that one beer would have, if I had the chance. Now, Bugsy enjoys a nice, cool glass of iced coffee in the mornings, and has been frustrated with me at times for using the last of the ice without the courtesy of replacing it. A plan brewed in my mind, and I went to the ice-box to see how much there was. Alas, he had just purchased some. (He doesn't like how tap water tastes, so rather than making our own we buy bags) I poured myself a bourbon on the rocks, and dumped the rest of the ice in the sink, sipping my drink as I watched his joy melt into plain, old, boring water and trickle down the drain, just as my beer had trickled down his back-stabbing throat.

tl;dr room mate drank my beer so I melted his ice.



Submitted November 09, 2015 at 01:17PM by theillinestvillain http://ift.tt/1Sbl67G pettyrevenge

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