BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Chapter 1 - Wants
*Your wants are in a competition where you decide the winner. *
We all have wants that either conflict or work well with one another. This is easy to recognize on paper, but once our actions become involved things can get a little messy.
The first step towards order is determining what you want. It may sound elementary, but determining what you want is a challenge in itself. The second step is recognizing your actions as wants. This is where you'll be able to determine if you’re lying to yourself.
What do you want?
Do you want to lose weight? Do you want ice cream? Do you want a better butt? Do you want cookies? Do you want pizza? Do you want to feel more confident?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
If you want to lose 20 pounds, but you eat ice cream a couple times per week then your actions are saying you want to eat ice cream more than you want to lose 20 pounds. If you want a firmer backside, but you eat fast food most days then your actions are saying you want to eat fast food more than you want a firmer backside.
This is all perfectly okay. There's nothing wrong with wanting ice cream more than wanting to lose 20 pounds; the same goes for wanting fast food more than wanting a firmer backside.
The troubling part is when you lie to yourself. It’s when you unreasonably expect to lose 20 pounds as you eat ice cream a couple times per week, which in turn causes you to become unnecessarily stressed. This is why lying to yourself is recipe for disaster.
The only way to rid unreasonable expectations and unnecessary stress is by calling yourself out on your own bullshit. If you want one thing, but you’re your actions say otherwise, it’s up to you to recognize this and call it like it is.
If you can do this, you'll always get what you want and never have unreasonable expectations or unnecessary stress again.
Quick Tips
Question yourself
When you're thinking about eating something unhealthy or skipping your exercise for the day, ask yourself what you want. It doesn't matter what the answer is as long as you're honest with yourself. Your actions will take over from here.
Analyze yourself
Based on your actions, what are your most powerful wants? What are they telling you? Why are you doing them? Try to understand what drives your desires and you’ll see the bigger picture.
Chapter 2 - Goals
Life isn’t about hitting home runs. It’s about stepping up to the plate to give yourself the chance.
We all have goals that vary throughout the year. For most, it's to lose weight. Whether it's 10, 20, or 50+ pounds doesn't matter. What matters is we all want to become a better version of ourselves today than we were yesterday.
The process of goals is straightforward:
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Make a goal
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Strive for the goal
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Reach (or don't reach) the goal
From a mental standpoint, reaching or not reaching your goal will have two amazingly different impacts.
Reaching your goal will most likely produce positive feelings. You'll probably be happy and feel a boost of motivation or confidence. Whereas, not reaching your goal will most likely produce negative feelings. You'll probably be disappointed and feel a lack of motivation or confidence.
What if there was a way to avoid the latter?
Most people go wrong as soon as they make a goal. Most people believe reaching their goal is the only thing that matters; that it's either succeed or fail with a do-or-die mentality. The reason this isn’t the best approach is because your thoughts are completely focused on what success will feel like, thus inherently ignoring the aftermath of potential failure. If you do wind up failing, you’ll be devastated beyond belief and possibly, repair.
This is why you need to remind yourself that it's okay if you don't reach your goal. Say it: IT'S OKAY IF I DON'T REACH MY GOAL.
Reaching your goal is a lot like hitting a home run. No one hits a home run every time they step up to the plate. No one. You might not hit the ball past the infield or you might hit the ball all the way to the warning track. It doesn't matter as long as you know two things: you gave it a ride and you'll step up to the plate again (and again and again).
Quick Tips
Track weekly progress, but avoid making goals to reach
Tracking is important to keep you focused and on task. You should avoid making weekly goals because your body can become temporarily uncooperative. If you've been eating well and exercising, this may cause you to become unnecessarily discouraged over something out of your control.
Make 8-week to 12-week goals
8-week to 12-week goals means you'll have anywhere from four to seven goals to reach per year. This helps streamline your thought process and puts you in a mindset that goals are like events you need to prepare for.
Chapter 3 - Priorities
Your most challenging opponent isn’t food, or exercise, or time. It’s you.
We all have wants. We all have goals. And yes, we all have priorities. At the top, our priorities tend to look the same: family, job, and friends are common. As we work our way down, our priorities become more unique because we have different interests, hobbies, and passions.
Where does your health fall on your list of priorities? For a lot of people, it’s somewhere near the bottom. This was no different for secretary I mentor.
Five days a week they would work 12-hour days, drink soda for breakfast and lunch, have fast food for dinner, watch TV, then go to sleep. On the weekends they would run errands and have lunch or dinner with friends. This was their life.
At the time, they weighed 260 pounds; the most they’ve ever weighed. They were at rock bottom and that was two years ago. It wasn’t until they made their health a priority when things changed.
They no longer work 12-hour days. Their mentality is, unless it’s an emergency, work can wait. They replaced drinking soda with drinking water. Instead of coming home and eating fast food, they have healthy meals in their refrigerator that they prepare for themselves every Sunday and Wednesday. Instead of watching TV before bed, they go to the gym, run, or exercise with their personal trainer.
When weekends roll around, they bike, hike, or play tennis with friends. Occasionally they’ll do lunch or dinner, but now they look at the restaurant’s menu beforehand and decide what they’re going to order without the distractions of the restaurant.
They weigh 150 pounds and are no longer at rock bottom. It’s all because they decided to make their health a priority. Although, that’s not to say they still don’t struggle with doing so. It’s a constant struggle for them, but instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, it’s a challenge they welcome.
Quick Tips
Be vulnerable
Come to terms with where you are physically, mentally, and emotionally. The sooner you open up and become vulnerable, the sooner you’ll be able to make your health a priority.
Speak with family and friends
Ask family and friends for their support. If they refuse to support you, you must find other outlets for encouragement or go at it alone. A support system can make things easier, but it won’t determine your success.
UNDERSTAND IT WON’T BE EASY
Chapter 4 - Habits
Burn the bridges that lead to poor decisions.
Over our lifetime we establish good and bad habits. Some of them have been with us since childhood, while others are relatively new. Regardless their age, habits are powerful.
Your habits are part of who you are. They’re engrained in your mind and carried out through your body. With great effort, you’ve most likely tried to keep the good ones and break the bad. But breaking bad habits doesn’t happen over night.
If renting a movie and eating pizza every Friday night were a habit of yours, you would need to start over from scratch. Your Friday night activity would need to be something other than watching a movie. If you want it to be relaxing like a movie, you could choose reading a book, going for a walk, or chatting with a friend. Then you would need to replace eating pizza with a different meal such as chicken and rice, a homemade fruit smoothie, or fish and vegetables.
Just how renting a movie and eating pizza became your Friday night habit with time and effort, so will taking a walk and having a homemade fruit smoothie.
Quick Tips
Remove pathways
Remove any pathway that keeps your bad habits in tact. If your friends always convince you to skip spin class Saturday night, don’t pick up your phone. If you stop off at your favorite restaurant on your commute home, go a different way. There’s no need to unnecessarily test or tempt yourself if you don’t have to.
Meet with a professional
Meet with a diet and fitness professional, even if it serves as a check-in. They’ll help hold you accountable when it comes to your habits and uncover things you’re not able to see. Ask family and friends for a recommendation or do a simple search online to see what’s right for you.
Chapter 5 - Comforts
An uncomfortable situation is your predator or prey.
Our comfort zones are vastly different. What makes you feel safe might make someone else feel stressed and vice versa. Some people rarely venture outside their comfort zone, while others thrive outside it.
If you typically do what makes you feel comfortable, you’d be in the majority. Most people will think themselves out of doing something if it’s beyond their comfort zone. It’s easy to intimidate yourself with thoughts of potential failure, humiliation, or simply the unknown.
A hairdresser I mentor was uncomfortable with the unknown. They were overweight nearly their entire life and knew nothing else. They only knew what it was like to eat poorly, be inactive, and have the body that lifestyle produced. Therefore, they were uncomfortable with anything else. They would imagine being fit, but their comfort zone continually held them back from becoming so.
It wasn’t until their late 30’s when things changed. They welcomed the uncomfortable feelings from eating well and exercising and eventually, they became fit for the first time in their life. To their surprise, this made them even more uncomfortable.
They were happy with their new body, but they were also angry. They felt people treated them differently. They felt people smiled and spoke to them more. They felt like they were the same person no matter what they looked like, so why would they be treated any differently. It was a catch-22 that made them feel extremely uncomfortable.
Over time they accepted the fact that maybe they were treating people differently, as well. Maybe they were smiling and speaking to people more, which in turn, made others do the same.
To this day, they still battle with feeling uncomfortable and they do it because they know none of their success would have been possible if they didn’t.
If something makes you uncomfortable, don’t run from it; hunt it down instead.
Quick Tips
Find a new group or class to try
It doesn’t matter what you join or sign up for just as long as you put yourself out there. Visit your local community center or search websites such as meetup.com, yelp.com, or livingsocial.com. If this makes you feel uncomfortable just thinking about it then you know it’s the right step.
Realize everyone is self-interested
Everyone, including you, is self-interested. Do you care when an overweight person walks into the gym? No and neither does the lady on the treadmill. Do you care when an overweight person is eating a salad? No and neither does the guy standing in line. No one cares because they all have their own lives to think about; just like you.
Chapter 6 - Setbacks
Life without adversity isn’t life at all. It’s called being dead.
Setbacks are going to happen. No one is immune to them; not even the people that do everything right. They’ll test you in ways you could never imagine and force you to fold or become resilient.
When you incur a setback you’ll be frustrated and want to quit because it’ll seem like its sole purpose is to derail your success. But don’t quit. Use your temporary frustration to fuel you. You knew you would be faced with challenges. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Now’s not the time to relent, now’s the time to be relentless.
If you eat poorly or exercise minimally it should be seen as a well-earned wake up call. If you do everything right, but your body isn’t cooperating it should be seen as an opportunity to test your mental fortitude. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if a setback is earned or not. What matters is not only are you not afraid of failure, but you welcome it.
Quick Tips
Cut your wants and goals by 50%
Limit your expectations. If you want to exercise six times per week, change it to three. If you want to lose 10 pounds in two months, change it to five. It’s easier to build on success than deal with defeat.
Envision overcoming adversity
Envision yourself during difficult times. Envision not being able to exercise all week because of an injury. Envision having a work emergency and being forced to miss a meal. If you mentally prepare yourself for adversity it’ll be less daunting when it inevitably strikes.
PREPARE FOR SUCCESS
Chapter 7 - Home
A healthy home is a healthy start.
Your home is the fulcrum to your success. Luckily, it’s something you have complete control over. That’s the beauty of a home; every decision is yours and they have a lasting impact on your life outside it.
You get to decide when you go to bed, how much you practice stretching, and what type of foods are in your kitchen. No one can dictate these things for you. You don’t have to tolerate not getting enough sleep. You don’t have to tolerate your body feeling tight or sore. You don’t have to tolerate eating junk food. You can go to bed earlier, stretch more, or strictly buy healthy food.
An elementary teacher I mentor was struggling with their weight and self-confidence. Their struggles were all stemming from their diet at home. They would go to the grocery store and buy healthy and unhealthy foods. They would get fruits and vegetables for delicious, homemade salads and they would get cookies and donuts simply because they just taste so darn good. To them, it felt like a fair trade-off. Unfortunately, whenever they were home they would always go for the unhealthy food first.
Eventually, they had enough. One day they threw out all the unhealthy food in their home. They threw away bagels, cream cheese, ice cream, cookies, donuts, potato chips, dressings, and sauces. It was incredibly wasteful, but they needed to do this for themselves. They finally drew the line and they’ve stuck to it ever since.
It’s resulted in them losing weight, but more importantly, their mind and body feel better. They have more clarity and energy than ever before. As for their self-confidence, it’s still a work in progress. They know they need to remind themselves everyday they’re wonderful just the way they are.
Quick Tips
Leave temptations to the outside world
Only keep healthy food in your home. It should be the one place you encounter on a daily basis that doesn’t have temptation. Your home is not a grocery store so don’t stock it like one.
Work on yourself
Make an effort to work healthy practices into your usual routine. Stretch while you’re watching TV or reading a book. Cut your internet time down by 15 minutes and use that extra time to meditate. Your home is the foundation to your health.
Chapter 8 - Work
If your life had a job description, under responsibilities would be your health.
Your job is likely the second most place where you spend your time. Unlike your home though, it’s not a place you have complete control over. That’s the challenge of a job; you must adapt to your environment and not the other way around.
If your company offers free lunch, has holiday parties, or is near one of your favorite restaurants then these are all things you must adapt to. It’s imperative you take control of what you can.
You can pass on the free lunch because you brought your own. You can pass on the holiday party food because you ate beforehand. You can pass on your favorite restaurant because you decided you would only go there on special occasions.
Nearly all the people I mentor have sent me texts about an unexpected food buffet at their job. A nurse I mentor sent me the following text along with a picture: “Huge chocolate cake at work! I want it. I won't have it. Shoot me now. Ha!” The picture was a sugar buffet that included said chocolate cake, an icebox cake, and an assortment of cupcakes.
You must prepare for the worst in environments you can’t control. You must be one step ahead of the temptations. You must be strong and firm in your decisions.
If you don’t adapt to an environment you can’t control, you will fail.
Quick Tips
Make your workspace an extension of your home
Prepare healthy meals at home to take to work. If you consistently work late, bring dinner or have something healthy ready for when you get home. You’ll establish a routine this way and be able to fight off any curveballs work throws your way.
Reject temptations with authority
When temptations cross your workspace, decline them in a polite, yet firm manner. Your coworkers need to know you mean business when it comes to your health. They’ll eventually learn you’re serious and keep the extra treats for themselves.
Chapter 9 - Social
Bars and restaurants thrive on the undisciplined.
If you have a social life, chances are it involves food and drink on occasion. Socializing over a meal and some drinks is normal, but if it becomes a frequent occurrence you’ll likely find yourself in an unenviable position.
Having a social life means your friends will challenge you. They’ll want you to be part of the group and join in on the fun. They won’t be thinking about your wants, goals, and priorities. They’ll be thinking about having a good time.
If you have plans to go to a bar, restaurant, or party and choose to be different by bringing your own food or not eating at all, you’ll be teased and pressured. You’ll have to find a way to combat these initial moments because your friends won’t see it as teasing and pressuring. They’ll see it as encouraging you let loose and have a little fun.
You’ll most likely need to be firm with them. You’ll need to tell them their teasing and pressuring is bothering you and you’re focused on your health right now. Eventually, they’ll get the message and understand where you’re coming from. They may even be secretly envious of your incredible discipline and want to join you once they find their own inner strength to do so.
You can be a leader amongst your peers and at worst, a leader for yourself.
Quick Tips
Select or create healthier alternatives and cut your consumption by 50%
Fight the inevitable by selecting or creating healthier alternatives from what’s available to you. If you want a hamburger, have one wrapped in lettuce instead of on a bun and substitute sweet potato fries for regular French fries. Although it’s a healthier option, cut your typical consumption (including drinks) in half to prevent overindulgence.
Offer alternative activities or make additional friends
When your friends want to hang out, suggest activities other than eating and drinking. For instance, mention a cool hiking trail, bike path, or park to check out. If they continually reject your offers, you may need to make additional friends more in-line with your newfound interests.
Submitted July 23, 2015 at 11:13PM by watchitsurvivor http://ift.tt/1RUNE9O Fitness
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