Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Over pressurized bottles (need advice) Kombucha

Ok so I just opened a bottle after my second ferment and before I transfer them into the refrigerator. The thing exploded upon opening and just ejected the entire bottle 3 feet into the air. My question is, will putting the bottles in the fridge relieve the pressure at all? I know it will stop the fermentation from carbonating any further. But am I going to have all of these bottles explode on me?

Any experience here?

Also, if they all will be extremely pressurized, should I just open into a huge container and catch all of it and then re-bottle?

Thanks!



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 08:55AM by calpickle http://ift.tt/1Hwhcpn Kombucha

I just moved into a brand new, fully furnished condo, but the water in my new refrigerator turns off every time I open the door to search for food firstworldproblems

No text found

Submitted July 01, 2015 at 08:18AM by chuckbeez http://ift.tt/1eZqga2 firstworldproblems

If ice is melting because of global warming, then how come there is still ice in my refrigerator? shittyaskscience

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Submitted July 01, 2015 at 07:38AM by DavidRockin http://ift.tt/1FPE0cj shittyaskscience

Why must the cupboard doors always be open? shortscarystories

"Why must the cupboards always be open?"

He sat, mouth slack with a furrowed brow and a questioning eye.

"What do you mean?"

My frustration was as obvious as I thought the question had been. "Why are the bathroom cupboards always open? Every day. Why?" He sighed slowly and lowered his gaze to the floor in a small form of surrender. I had been asking him similar questions for the last three months. He was sick of defending against these questions and I was sick of asking them.

"My medicine is in the bathroom cabinet; I take it in the mornings before work."

I looked down on him as if my silence would beckon a more obvious, complete answer as to why he would never close the door or apologize for his constant forgetfulness. In an effort to end things peacefully, he said flatly, "...sorry, I'll remember to close it." Instead of triumph, I felt a desperate sadness. I knew that I was breaking him but my actions suggested that I just didn't care. That's the thing about depression; you, yourself are screaming inside your head to stop being a hateful stranger. I was yelling at this horrid woman berating her husband like a timid toddler who had broken a dish.

"I'm sorry,” I said in earnest. “It's stupid. It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have said anything.”

He didn't say anything back; instead he just walked to the bedroom and pushed the door closed behind him.

Things had been tense since I had lost my job. We lived in a small town near an even smaller college. Without a degree to speak of, my choices were limited. There were professors and students and all of the non-academic jobs went to the students. I had been working as a home health aide for a couple years but found my way to a back injury from working too many doubles. I liked to be busy and the silence and dull drum of my day to day did not suit me. It had been a very, very tense three months.

I was going out of my mind; cleaning every crevice of the small one-bedroom apartment we shared with nothing but spotless surfaces to call accomplishments. There were only so many books I could read and crafts I could attempt to master before eventually finding my way to yet another nap or one more afternoon in front of bad daytime TV. I was becoming cold, distant, and bitter; uninterested and unforgiving.

The following morning, after washing the previous evening's dishes and placing them to dry, I walked into the bathroom to find the cupboard door completely shut. What should have brought me satisfaction instead filled me with guilt, looking at the dark wooden door in it's proper place. Upset at the previous night and the previous three months, I resolved in that moment to be better; to ardently try to move closer to the wife I knew I was.

Turning the light switch off, I turned into the hallway leading to the front of the apartment. I noticed it then. A bit of light. A bright line stretching the length of the hall; reaching into the bedroom. I followed the light to a crack in a door; a crack in the open, front door.

The front door to my home was open about an inch; just enough to be either someone just leaving in a hurry or making their first steps inside. I froze, unable to step forward as the quiet of the apartment became hyper realistic. The low hum of the refrigerator; the click of the air conditioning ceasing into silence.

The creak of the bathroom cupboard opening...



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 07:22AM by MoosMoosMom http://ift.tt/1FPDXND shortscarystories

If ice is melting because of global warming, then how come there is still ice in my refrigerator? shittyaskscience

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Submitted July 01, 2015 at 07:38AM by DavidRockin http://ift.tt/1FPE0cj shittyaskscience

Need help with Whirlpool Gold GT22DK or GT22DM ice maker please. Appliances

We moved into this apartment and the refrigerator is already here.I can't for the life of me figure out how to use the ice maker. See pics please.

http://ift.tt/1eZ3n6C http://ift.tt/1GXGDge



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 05:39AM by thelotusknyte http://ift.tt/1eZ3nU2 Appliances

North Oakland Home For Rent (oakland north / temescal) $1475 3bd 1183ft2 EastBayHouseSearch

This home is located at 1024 32nd. St. in North Oakland. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 full baths, a large living room, formal dining room and a modern kitchen with a new stove and refrigerator. It also has a laundry room, 2 car garage and fenced rear yard [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1FP9M9p

via IFTTT



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 05:44AM by u238ed http://ift.tt/1eZ0AtZ EastBayHouseSearch

CMV: People should be standing out side with signs that read "Stop Inflation!" as a opposed to signed that read "15/Hour!" changemyview

I saw a post about about workers wanting $15 an hour and I can't seem to wrap my head around how the public hasn't decided that inflation is the problem and instead decided that the companies that actually employ them are? Its so short sighted and is as if the whole of society has just accepted the rat race created by the Federal reserve's mandate to create inflation and just seem to want additional check points along the way with cheese so they can keep running the maze. It would make more sense to me to just stop inflation so the poor (or everyone for that matter) stop getting taxed (which is what inflation is) every time the Fed prints a dollar.

I know many people will say that deflation is bad because if prices come down then people won't spend while waiting for a better deal and we will just get stuck in a downward spiral of jobs getting lost while everyone waits to spend their money. I never understood that argument either because with all products from TV's to refrigerators to cars and even homes people buy them as soon as they can afford it because they want it now. TV's come down in price every year... doesn't stop people from buying one every couple of years to get the best tech that's on the market. Despite decent used cars being available people still buy new ones. there really is no logical basis for any prolonged collapse spiral due to people waiting for a better price on everything. That's just not how it works

The only real problem we have now is that rat maze that has been built over the last 100 or so years due to constant inflation of the money supply is that if we were to correct to the problem and shut down the maze the result would be temporary catastrophic as the deflation (or lack of cheese) that would occur that would bring us back to some sense of normalcy would be pretty painful. I know this is probably the biggest reason why no politician will touch this subject and why we need to be in the streets actually demanding it so we ca get rid of the systemic issue that is slowly (faster for some) driving us all into poverty.


Hello, users of CMV! This is a footnote from your moderators. We'd just like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, please remember to read through our rules. If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which, downvotes don't change views! If you are thinking about submitting a CMV yourself, please have a look through our popular topics wiki first. Any questions or concerns? Feel free to message us. Happy CMVing!



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 05:51AM by outofsync42 http://ift.tt/1GXGDg0 changemyview

Homestead for sale -- Lake of the Ozarks area in Missouri homestead

Two bedroom home on 3 acres nestled in the woods within the the ozark mountain region of Missouri. Located 20 miles from Sedalia, MO that offer shopping and a growing economy with plenty of opportunities for employment. Additionally this property is located about two hours from Kansas City, MO. and 90 minutes from the The lake of The Ozarks where you can experience fishing, boating, restaurants, and a water park.

-No restrictions on this land. Non coded or zoned (meaning build an earthship, Wofati house, earthen house, strawbale house, etc.)

-Currently using composting toilet system or you can have an outhouse (located on premise as well but is being used for tool storage)

-Property has neighbors are far enough away, most land use is private seasonal hunting land

-Fruit and nut trees with wild edibles all around. Most of the property is oak and hickory forest that is partially fenced.

-Property has wild turkey, deer, rabbits, and squirrels are abundant. -Two IBC totes for rain catchment or aquaponics system.

-Property has 200 amp service on local power coop.

-Private 290' well with submersible pump. Well also comes with a deep well hand pump for backup. Hand pump needs to be installed.

-20-30 min away from Sedalia, MO. Stars are very bright outside of the city lights. -Private unmaintained road with only one way in and out.

-Seasonal Creek that can be used with a ram pump for additional irrigation.

-Four person storm shelter adjacent to house.

1,000 sq ft home. New/in construction- new doors, windows (low-e) fixtures, lights everything! House has steel roof. Needs siding. Currently has house wrap.

Living room connected to dining area. Approximately 200ft2

Kitchen with door to outside. Dishwasher, stove/oven, refrigerator, chest freezer. New counter tops. Total 128ft2.

Bathroom has vanity and shower with composting toilet -- 64ft2

Bedrooms have strand bamboo with additional bamboo to replace existing hardwood or for additional rooms that are added in the future. Each bedroom is 220ft2 with 21ft2 closets. Window AC in each bedroom. One room that holds well pressure tank and electric water heater. Top of the line Sherman Williams paint low VOC's.

Property has steel shed being used for chicken coop. Property also has 6400ft2 pen for goats with a frame shelters. Electric fence charge controller and an electronet fence to keep animals out of your garden. In addition there is a large fenced in area to keep a livestock guard dog. Property comes with large rabbit hutch.

Currently wireless service and data are available through AT&T (4G coverage)or satellite.

$70,000 or best offer



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 05:52AM by manwithgills http://ift.tt/1Jr2I7G homestead

Property for Sale, Ozark Area in MO. Would make a great homestead or bug out location. (xpost from /r/homestead) preppers

Two bedroom home on 3 acres nestled in the woods within the the ozark mountain region of Missouri. Located 20 miles from Sedalia, MO that offer shopping and a growing economy with plenty of opportunities for employment. Additionally this property is located about two hours from Kansas City, MO. and 90 minutes from the The lake of The Ozarks where you can experience fishing, boating, restaurants, and a water park.

-No restrictions on this land. Non coded or zoned (meaning build an earthship, Wofati house, earthen house, strawbale house, etc.)

-Currently using composting toilet system or you can have an outhouse (located on premise as well but is being used for tool storage)

-Property has neighbors are far enough away, most land use is private seasonal hunting land

-Fruit and nut trees with wild edibles all around. Most of the property is oak and hickory forest that is partially fenced.

-Property has wild turkey, deer, rabbits, and squirrels are abundant. -Two IBC totes for rain catchment or aquaponics system.

-Property has 200 amp service on local power coop.

-Private 290' well with submersible pump. Well also comes with a deep well hand pump for backup. Hand pump needs to be installed.

-20-30 min away from Sedalia, MO. Stars are very bright outside of the city lights. -Private unmaintained road with only one way in and out.

-Seasonal Creek that can be used with a ram pump for additional irrigation.

-Four person storm shelter adjacent to house.

1,000 sq ft home. New/in construction- new doors, windows (low-e) fixtures, lights everything! House has steel roof. Needs siding. Currently has house wrap.

Living room connected to dining area. Approximately 200ft2

Kitchen with door to outside. Dishwasher, stove/oven, refrigerator, chest freezer. New counter tops. Total 128ft2.

Bathroom has vanity and shower with composting toilet -- 64ft2

Bedrooms have strand bamboo with additional bamboo to replace existing hardwood or for additional rooms that are added in the future. Each bedroom is 220ft2 with 21ft2 closets. Window AC in each bedroom. One room that holds well pressure tank and electric water heater. Top of the line Sherman Williams paint low VOC's.

Property has steel shed being used for chicken coop. Property also has 6400ft2 pen for goats with a frame shelters. Electric fence charge controller and an electronet fence to keep animals out of your garden. In addition there is a large fenced in area to keep a livestock guard dog. Property comes with large rabbit hutch.

Currently wireless service and data are available through AT&T (4G coverage)or satellite.

$70,000 or best offer



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 06:02AM by manwithgills http://ift.tt/1GXGCZG preppers

Best place to buy appliances? orangecounty

Need to buy a new refrigerator in the Irvine area from somewhere that will deliver. Anyone have any particularly good or bad experiences to share?



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 05:23AM by carriekate http://ift.tt/1ehzEEK orangecounty

Strange mark on refrigerator? Appliances

We have a stainless steel KitchenAid refrigerator that we've had since around November, 2014. Everything has been fine with it, but today this mark showed up on it. There is also another one that's very similar near the bottom that's about half the length. We're fairly certain neither of us put anything on the refrigerator itself that would have caused this, and we've recently been away so we haven't actually been in the house that much. It just seems to have shown up. Any ideas?



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 04:09AM by bjb399 http://ift.tt/1Ir82tb Appliances

How to survive a vacation? loseit

My family is going on a 3 week vacation (late July into mid-August) that involves driving thousands of miles in the American SW and making stops in Las Vegas, Reno, Salt Lake City (weird detour?), Sedona, Santa Fe, etc -- I'm terrified that the trip is going to absolutely obliterate my diet.

Something about the sort of food that exists at highway rest stops coupled with the seedy dirt cheap all-you-can-eat buffets in Vegas and Reno that leads me to believe maintaining a 1200 calorie diet will be quite the feat.

What preparations can I make in advance? My family has no problems with me taking charge of packing the cooler food for the road so some ideas for cooler foods that can be stored in the trunk would be greatly appreciated.

I also am concerned about knowing calorie information at restaurants. I can eat in moderation but sometimes its impossible to really know how many calories you're eating at some dive joint.

(At least at McDonald's or wherever I can get a side salad and a 4pc chicken nugget and know where I stand.) Buffets are a whole other ball game.

FWIW

  • I only drink water (and the almond milk in my cereal) - so beverages will not be an issue.

  • Some of our hotels have refrigerators and microwaves, so I can pop by a local Walmart and buy some of my safe/normal foods (salads, low cal frozen dinners, turkey hot dogs, deli meats, etc.) - it won't be the most nutritious diet plan in the world since I don't have access to my stove/oven, but at least they're not loaded with calories... But the problem is, my family will definitely not let me eat even half of my meals in the hotel room - 75% of eating will be done outside in restaurants or on the road.

Eek. I am actually genuinely terrified I am going to reverse all of the progress I've made so far. (i.e. gain back all the weight.)

Any tips/ideas/general advice would really be so helpful. Thank you in advance!

Edit: Formatting



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 03:22AM by thenarcolepticwiggle http://ift.tt/1Jqp4Gy loseit

FREE STUFF - TRIBECA (TriBeCa) FreeStuffNYC

Must be picked up by or before NOON TOMORROW. we have: all pictured below wine refrigerator children's wooden kitchen toy thomas the tank engine play table two children's cribs

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1g8rjEO

via IFTTT



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 02:26AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1FODzyY FreeStuffNYC

Re-purposed ice chest question? DIY

Is it possible to re-use the parts from a working mini-fridge to convert an old ice chest like this into a working refrigerator? I have both components, just unsure how complicated refrigerators are built.

Edit: Something like this but using parts from a mini-fridge.



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 12:54AM by z_ide http://ift.tt/1NvoWGp DIY

Solutions, productive steps to be taken, help, support, etc. raisedbynarcissists

This is my first post here. Hello everyone. I have tried to avoid this sub for years and actually unsubscribed a while ago because it was tough to read. I've finally gotten to a place, however, where I have enough black-and-white emails that have been shared with people who can assure me that I am not "being melodramatic" or "making it all up" or "just trying to hurt her." Yes, it's my mom.

In brief: I am nearing 30 and I love my mom. I recognize that I have a lot of issues, including fluctuating feelings of moderate to severe anxiety (both social and general), constant guilt, fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and a tendency not to trust my own thoughts/feelings or the words of others -- particularly loved ones -- that could be attributed to her behavior throughout my lifetime. But separate from this knowledge there is another truth: I love my mom. When you love someone, you want what is best for them. Although she has not followed this definition in her treatment of me or my family or her friends, I have personally spent years crafting a meaning of love that makes sense to me personally and that is it: If you love someone, you want what is best for them, even when what is best for them might be at times painful or difficult.

When I read descriptions of narcissistic behavior, or more specifically, yaknow, this, I know that they are descriptions of my mom. But I also know that she is a person. I know that she doesn't want to be miserable all the time. I know that she should have gotten help probably before I was born. I know that she doesn't realize how twisted her mind has gotten and that she often truly believes the things that she says. I know that she can not feel the love that I and my family members have for her. I have listened to her complaints and repeated stories about her parents and her feelings about her own inadequacies and the insignificant dramas of her life so many times that I also understand where this disorder comes from and why it manifested itself so profoundly in her. I know that my father thought he was helping by trying to avoid confrontations with her or by finding reasons or excuses for her behaviors and her twisted thinking.

It has taken me a long time, my entire life really, to finally recognize that although she blames me, or other family members, or acts of god, or the dog, or the refrigerator door, or whatever else for her own unhappiness, it is her unhappiness that is the underlying root of this issue. My actions or words are not the problem and I refuse to be made to feel that they are. She has abused me and I have come to terms with that. I do not excuse her behavior just because I understand the reasons behind it. Quite frankly, the state of things disgusts me. But I can not forsake a human being for something that they are not equipped to deal with, and it is my profound belief that my mother is not equipped to deal with herself. The depression and the feelings that everyone is "out to get her" and that the world is somehow "cheating her out of what she deserves" are real to her. And although it does not excuse her behavior, it does paint a gruesome portrait of what life must be like inside of her mind.

Some of my friends and family feel outrage at what she has done to me and I understand that. I appreciate it. I know that it means that they care about me and that they worry about my well-being. I have felt outrage too. I have felt angry and hurt and sad and guilty and helpless. But I don't have to because there isn't anything she can do to me anymore. I am a good person because I want to be. I will not sink into the world that her narcissistic personality disorder has created. And simultaneously, I will not condemn her to the most miserable life I can imagine for another person. Just because she has hurt me doesn't mean that she deserves to be hurt. It isn't about winning or fairness or equality. It is about the "golden rule," as a poster recently mentioned.

So what it comes down to is this: how do you reach someone who doesn't know they have a problem? How do you help someone who is incapable of feeling that they need help? How do you love and support someone who doesn't (and can't) understand what it means to be loved and supported? A quick search of this sub for the word "intervention" comes up woefully short. I understand. I don't blame anyone. Obviously it is hard when any question I can think to ask sounds like a morbidly hilarious oxymoron. Sometimes it's all you can do to escape or to cut ties and both of those things take incredible strength and bravery. Here's a bit of my fears showing their heads: I'm not on a "high horse" nor do I "think I'm better than anyone," as my mother is fond of saying, I'm just trying to live what I think is right and I need help.

TL;DR: We in this sub may have been raised by narcissists, but I believe that no one is beyond saving. I have to believe it, because I love my mom and I only want what is best for her, even if she can't want what is best for me. I would love it if some of you could share your stories or suggestions on how to help someone who can not help themselves. THANK YOU. I hope we can all stay strong and true.



Submitted July 01, 2015 at 01:00AM by cursexwords http://ift.tt/1JpOYu4 raisedbynarcissists

This cooler fits perfectly in between the refrigerators mildlyinteresting

http://ift.tt/1FOkrB3

Submitted July 01, 2015 at 12:25AM by masterofnipples http://ift.tt/1NvmMGM mildlyinteresting

Idiot Overcomes Belligerent Refrigerator IdiotsFightingThings

https://www.gifyoutube.com/gif/Kd1oGb

Submitted June 30, 2015 at 11:47PM by herbeyfullyloaded http://ift.tt/1HsLszE IdiotsFightingThings

[Housing - For Rent] Room at Columbia Crest, near GeorgiaTech, low price Atlanta

I have a guest bedroom in a 3b/2b apartment for sublease at Columbia Crest from 7/7/2015 to 8/31/2015 (if you like the apartment and want extension, you can sign a new lease with the leasing office). Rent $250/mo (negotiable) + utility (water+power+internet is about $45/mo).The other two tenants are male PhD students in GaTech.

The address is 1903 Drew Dr. NW, Atlanta 30318. Very convenient location with only 3.4 miles to GaTech (10 min's drive) , 3.6 miles to Walmart&Kroger&IKEA (12 min), 4.4 miles to Atlantic Station shopping&dinning area (13 min).

The apartment has central AC, refrigerator, washer, dryer, microwave and other kitchenware. Free parking. Nice neighborhood with swimming pool and small park.

If interested, please contact me by email or by text. Email: smartlobo85@gmail.com. Phone: 404nine0eight2nine41



Submitted June 30, 2015 at 10:49PM by smartlobo http://ift.tt/1C5CrfL Atlanta

Refrigerator (RICHMOND HILL) FreeStuffNYC

White Refrigerator 14 Cubic feet. In working condition but needs cleaning.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1GzdeZv

via IFTTT



Submitted June 30, 2015 at 10:58PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1C5CsAc FreeStuffNYC

1 Room Available in 3 BR Apartment in Inman Square - $860/Month, Starting 9/1 bostonhousing

Hello! I am looking for a subletter to take over my spot in our 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment in Inman Square. This would be a full-year sublet, beginning on 9/1/2015 and ending on 8/31/2016. The rent would be $860 per month (plus a one-month security deposit) and utilities (electric, gas, and cable/internet) typically run from $70-90 per person per month. Please be LGBT friendly.

The apartment has hardwood floors and new stainless steel appliances, including a refrigerator, gas stove and oven, dishwasher, and a microwave over the stove. Additionally the living room is already furnished, including couches, a dining table, and a 50” TV. There is a well-maintained, private backyard which is great for relaxing or entertaining friends when the weather is nice. There is also a coin-op laundry machine.

The three of us (all guys in our mid 20s) have been living together for two years and things have been great. We are looking for someone respectful, fun, and laid-back. We drink socially, but do not typically throw parties or anything like that. A graduate student or young professional would be a great fit. One of the roommates will be staying and the other will be looking for an additional subletter for September through February while he is on an internship, so there will be someone new for part of the year.

Living in Inman Square has been a great experience - there are lots of top-notch restaurants (Tupelo, Puritan & Co., East Coast Grill, etc.) and bars (The Druid, Bukowski Tavern, Trina's, etc.) so it is a great spot to be. It is only a 10 minute walk from Central Square and the red line, or a 20 minute walk to Harvard. Additionally the apartment is right along the route of the #69 bus, which goes between Lechmere and Harvard.

Please send me a PM if you would like more information! I will put up some pictures tonight.



Submitted June 30, 2015 at 11:03PM by Dot8911 http://ift.tt/1C5CrfB bostonhousing

Friday, June 26, 2015

Refrigerator anarchy on /r/MildlyInteresting firstworldanarchists

http://ift.tt/1Ii1MDY

Submitted June 26, 2015 at 10:22PM by Myrrun http://ift.tt/1GCapUy firstworldanarchists

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Just started transitioning into Soylent (ver. 1.5) - Pleasantly Surprised (Observations for those on the fence about starting) soylent

I received my first shipment of 1.5 last week and I'm starting with two scoops per day for breakfast for 5 days (Monday - Friday). I plan on eating regular meals on the weekend, and then consuming three scoops per day next week (mon-fri) spread out between breakfast and lunch.

It has an oat-like pancake batter taste and, like another redditor said, had the consistency of a melted milkshake. I've been preparing it the night before and letting it sit in the refrigerator overnight and shaking in a blender bottle with ice when I drink it in the morning.

Each day while drinking it I've found that I enjoy it more than I had the day before (not to suggest that I ever had a negative sentiment about any aspect of it, but that I actually really look forward to meal times). Something odd I've noticed is that I feel more averse to chocolate/candy (uninterested in consuming it at all).

If you're on the fence about starting, I would suggest thinking about what you hope to accomplish or what value you will derive from this experience. Personally, I think interest in saving time, saving money, and pursuing a better-balanced nutritious diet are great reasons to start. I found that as a twenty-something career-minded person, this is a great solution to my food issues. I was spending approximately $600 a month (Boston cost of living) eating out and when I tried to eat cheaper, I would end up at a cheaper restaurant or preparing shitty frozen food from Trader Joes (both of which were way more unhealthy compared to ideally cooking healthy and balanced meals, which were more expensive and very time consuming).



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 07:28PM by RaidenIsCool http://ift.tt/1GtgfrW soylent

Opening the Gate Drugs

Someone had placed me on my side which was wise. Looking down I can see the bed lamp reflecting dimly in a puddle of gastric juices, Jim Beam and beer. Discovering your vomit is always a curious thing. More so in a unfamiliar room.

I sit up and look around. Someone's guest room. Comfortable, functional, tasteful. Family portraits on the wall, a Monet reproduction from his lilies series near the window, a made bed with cushions and a quilt. On the table is someone's coke. I thank the Universe for this moment and snort. It bursts behind my right eyeball and my brain crackles to attention. I find my jacket and walk out into the hall.

I clean myself up in a bathroom and peek in the medicine cabinet. Nothing good. Perhaps the owner is aware of my kind. Maybe he is one of us. Or maybe someone like my girlfriend beat me to the punch.

A clock I pass tells me it is 3:33 in the a.m. The Witching hour. I hear distant human noises and follow them into a spacious living room. My boots reverberate off the hardwood floor for this part of the house is silent. A sharp contrast to events earlier. Before music blasted, hundreds of drunken voices rose up in unison as a challenge to the alien night sky. I look outside in the silent gloom. The pool is full of beer cans, cups, lawn furniture, clothes and towels. A fountain nymph has been knocked over and beheaded. Trash is strewn everywhere. From the amount of smashed wine bottles on the patio it looks like they found the cellar. Every door and cabinet on the outdoor bar is yanked open and the contents spewed across the lawn. An outdoor refrigerator stands wide open and is on fire. The flickering flames make the reflection of my face orange and demonic in the window pane.

I keep walking.

The house was locked during the party so inside is another world. Clean and orderly. The smells of an unknown family. Spices, cooking scents and lemon furniture polish. A gas fireplace cheerfully burns. The mantle is covered with a nautical clock collection. An archipelago of Persian rugs over a wooden floor leads me to the theater room where I find my friends. Dev and Jason are playing Mario Kart while Kym and Melo talk with three guys I saw earlier. Melo looks up at and grins.

"There he is!"

"I feel...", I pause because the world blurs for a moment. It retracts slowly and then pops back into focus. I rub my face. "I feel weird."

"Yeah you got knocked out", said Jason leaning into a turn as Dev shrieks something about turtle shells.

Kym stands up and walks over to me. Tonight she wears a red bandana wrapped around purple hair. A white crop top, gold belly chain and black jeans with a wide, silver studded belt. Black boots and her leather jacket. She recently got her jacket spiked to match mine. Her leather features the next star chart on the Milky Way traveling away from our solar system. Kym caresses my cheek which throbs.

"Did I win?"

Kym laughs and kisses me.

"You almost tied?", offers Dev from the floor.

"Almost babe", agrees Kym smiling. "Not much of a fighter are you?"

"That was my second fight. The first was was in third grade with Tommy Melkin."

"Did you win?" asks Melo.

"No. I ran away after he hit me."

Earlier in San Francisco, Dev knocks on our door. I let her in suspiciously. When she is alone there are sometimes spirits and otherworldly entities swirling around her. But she just wanted to take a shower. Kym allows this so I let her in. When she comes out she goes into our room to help Kym paint tiny skulls on her nails. Later Melo comes by.

"Party in Emerald Hills", says Kym.

"Where?"

"Emerald Hills. The Peninsula" says Kym. "Melo we have to hit up a liquor store ok?"

Melo turned 21 first so the poor bastard gets to buy booze for us 20 year olds. The perk is he always gets drunk for free when he hangs out.

"It's my friend Annie from school. She's turning 20 and her parents are in France so...party. Sorry guys. These people are kinda weird" warns Dev.

I look at her. Dev cuts her hands to draw ritual blood magic circles. She talks to spirits and old gods. So I have to ask.

"Weird?"

"Suburb kids. Gap clothes, Jamba Juice wheat grass purges and frozen yogurt...Trust fund drop outs with thousand dollar Beanie Baby collections" she offers.

"What? Like sane versions of you Dev?" says Jason strolling in through the front door.

He lifts up his shirt and pulls a McDonalds bag from his waistband and dumps it on the table. He drops next to it and takes out all the coke and heroin he scored across the bay.

"Not much China white", says Jason. "All tar. Mexicans have a chokehold on the competition. Only the biker guys and Vietnamese dudes have powder. And boy do they know it."

"Maybe I don't want to go", says Dev in a small voice.

We all can see why. Dev was totally that weird kid that never fit in. We have always viewed her as our insane friend and just go with it. But growing up? That must have been cruel.

"Dev! Fuck Monkey is playing your friend's party!" says Kym waving a cigarette around to make her point.

Kym is obsessed with Fuck Monkey because lately she has been on a disco kick. Fuck Monkey is a cover band. Mostly Bee Gees and Abba.

"Fuck Monkey!" she emphasizes again as Jason tears the foil.

"But all those people...they were so-" Dev scrunches into an embryonic ball on the floor with her knees to her chin.

Her fear of her high school peer group is the first normal thing I have ever seen from Dev. So I offer, "We can always go to Slims."

"C'mon Dev!", begs Kym rolling her eyes and clutching Dev's filthy orange gypsy skirt. "I'm from fucking Danville! The suburbs suck! But Fuck Monkey! Please!"

"Oh fuck you Khadja", says Dev still frowning. Then she looks up, "OK. Fine. Let's go but Melo?"

"Hmm?"

"I need the kit."

And we smoke. Dev shoots. The poppy's bloom behind our eyes and time erodes into the Friday night. We do coke as Kym gets ready and Jason orders a pizza. Finally, Melo carries Dev's slumped body to the car and Kym drives us south into the suburbs.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?" yells the largest goddamn talking primate I have ever seen.

I know who the bitch is. But this guy? Holy fucking steroid crazy mutant motherfucking shit! He's not very tall which makes it worse. The short ones HATE me. But he is wide and ridiculously muscular. His arms and neck are thicker than my thighs. I walk into this knowing I am truly fucked.

All night this dominate primate man craps on everything. His name is Baron for fuck's sake. All he talks about is beating up people. He sucks down beer after beer. His face was almost angelic. Blond curls framing olive green eyes. But the eyes were dead. Like a domesticated beast. Dumb. Dull. Reflecting very little human soul. His chin was like the end of a brick and everything below it was solid.

The band was amazing. They were dressed like extras from Les Misérables. Short set but intense with that infectious disco bass. They played on a lawn that was at least a half acre long broken up by fountains and statuary. This type of wealth astounds me. I showed Melo the reproduction of the mosaic depicting Alexander the Great breaking the army of Darius, last king of the Achaemenid Empire. Japanese koi fish swam over it. Kym and Dev walk by smoking cigarettes and talking. Obviously at ease in their childhood surroundings. They never even glance at the beauty and symbolic power of the Alexander mural.

Dev knew the house code to the elevator so we could go inside. On the ground level was a space that housed the car and motorcycle collection. Ride the elevator down to the underground pool and gym facilities. Ride up to the atrium entrance. A spiral stairway led to the bedrooms. Jason complained loudly about this.

"What the fuck Winchester mystery house? Elevator to the subterranean pool but not the bedroom? The architect must have been smoking Mexican tar. Shit makes you lazy. Now if he had the ECP he would have built hamster tube connectors for the coked out fuckers who can't stand being trapped in elevators."

Two smaller houses flank the main compound. One for each sister. A family of four would be comfortable in either structure. I sit in one of these houses and look at yearbooks. Outside is a swarming cluster fuck of bored college-aged suburban kids mingling under tiki torch lights, swimming and getting wasted on expensive liquor. In the yearbook I find a freshmen Devika Liora. A tiny, awkward normal looking girl with a sexless utilitarian haircut. But a glorious fucking smile. Sophomore year she has a dyed black goth mushroom hairdo and a scowl. Junior year she has a shaved head and painted, manic eyes. No senior picture. Then I hear trouble outside.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?" yells the largest goddamn talking primate I have ever seen.

And Kym is toe to toe with the monster yelling back.

"Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the fuck out of here!" she yells as she throws the contents of her keg cup on him.

The crowd holds it breath as the red cup bounces off his enormous, sloped forehead. Baron is the biggest asshole for miles and has been King Bully from kindergarten to this moment. Whoever he was tormenting backed off and Kym filled the spot.

He gapes at his Tommy Hilfiger shirt in disbelief. The beer presses the material against his wide chest as I make my way towards the circle. The crowd sensing violence reacts.

"Hey Baron! It's all good! Let it go dude!"

"Hey c'mon man. Let it go!"

But more frightening:

"Fucking cunt! Get her Baron! Get HER!"

As he looks up I stand between them. His piggy little eyes sparkle. I see joy as thoughts are processed through the smooth lobes of his brain.

"Sorry", I say. "We're leaving ok?"

And he swings. I have a half second to drop back as his fist slams into my shoulder throwing me back into Kym. We both fly back a good three feet and slide across the ground into the scattering stampede of onlooker's feet as they scramble to make way. I jump up and throw myself at him with no idea what I'm supposed to do. Baron catches me in midair. His fingers are like bananas and crush me in the grip as he rears back to beat me. With useless arms I slam my forehead into his face. I feel a CRACK and he drops me bellowing. Now I have chance! I look up...and wake up sideways on the someone else's couch smelling my stomach contents.

"Cheater!", shrieks Dev.

Jason dramatically leaps to his feet while tossing the controller in the air and points at her, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

"I think I'm gonna puke again", I announce.

"Have some water" says Melo offering me a bottle.

"Have you considered the possibility that you may have a concussion?" asks the Arabic looking kid wearing an O'Neil hoodie.

"I have no idea what happened", I shrug.

His friend sitting next to him in glasses is rolling a joint and looks up. "Baron just started throwing uppercuts into your body and then he clocked you with a right. Lights out."

"Ah."

Kym puts her arms around my neck from behind. Even this hurts but it's worth it so sag into her embrace.

"Babe this is Mike", the Arab guy nods, "Jeff", the guy rolling the joint waves his hand as he licks the paper, "and Parker." A chubby Asian kid smiles and nods. "Mike dates Annie. They all go to Santa Barbara."

I shrug.

"We're in Annie's house", fills in Kym.

"Oh. Hey sorry for the ruckus."

"Oh dude that Baron guy has been a prick since 5th grade. Steroids made him psycho. It was awesome you guys took him out. Asshole wasn't even invited", laughs Mike.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"Melo hit him with a shovel", says Dev joining the circle as Jeff lights the joint.

"That guy was huge, I needed something", grinned Melo. "Barely slowed him down. Guy's a beast. But Jason dropped him. One shot and he went down."

"Good thing", says Jason joining the circle. "This chick told me in high school he lifted like 500 lbs. You do not want to be on the receiving end of that. His fists are like canned hams."

So we smoked. Kym and I were antsy. I could feel Dev and Melo were getting there too but Jason looked zen because he was holding and probably enjoying.

I learned from our new friends that Baron started problems by stealing a keg. His crew just grabbed one during the band and left. Then they came back for another one later. One of Annie's friend's called them out on it and Baron shoved him. In doing so he bumped Kym who got into it. Luckily, someone called the cops.

I looked at Mike, Jeff and Parker. Santa Barbara imparted a laid back beach culture vibe on them. Like even though it was winter Mike and Parker wore rubber slippers instead of shoes. Most of the guys at the party had short hair and backwards baseball caps. These three had shaggy hair like they were debating to grow it out. They looked as out of place at this party as we did.

"Jase", said Kym, "bump me some love."

I watch their faces. Marijuana and drinking is common in their circle. But I sense Kym was opening a gate these three never saw. Alert and interested, the Nintendo was forgotten.

"Uhm Kym...", says Dev looking at Mike.

"Don't worry Dev. Annie's passed out" says Mike. "What? Coke?"

"Naw" says Kym. "Coke AND heroin."

"Whoa!" says Parker looking at Jeff. But Mike sits up.

"Is that like opium?"

"Not really", says Melo. "More intense. Opium is closer to morphine."

"What...?" purrs Kym suggestively. "You boys want to try? I am exactly what your mothers warned you about..."

"Kym" sighs Jason. "This is not exactly the best-"

"Hey it's cool!", says Mike. "I'll totally pay if thats what you mean. I just want to try..."

"Mike!" says Parker, "Dude it's heroin. HER-O-IN!"

"I'll buy some too", says Jeff.

"Boys!" smiles Jason rubbing his forehead. "Look it's your party, you guys smoked us out and you let us chill here when the cops came. I'll get you high if you want."

"I want", says Mike sitting up.

Kym feeds herself first. Then I take a bump, Melo, Jason and Dev follow. We sit there in the unknown house eyes wide open and floating into the other world like a leaf spiraling towards a pond. I nod and feel myself sinking into still waters. I watch Kym offer a tiny bump to them. She rolls the straw across the glass table to Mike. I stare at the skull painted on her fingernail.

Jason stares into Kym's unwavering eyes, shakes his head and silently mouths: Devil's daughter.



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 12:28PM by morbo2000 http://ift.tt/1eIysv5 Drugs

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Opening the Gate opiates

Someone had placed me on my side which was wise. Looking down I can see the bed lamp reflecting dimly in a puddle of gastric juices, Jim Beam and beer. Discovering your vomit is always a curious thing. More so in a unfamiliar room.

I sit up and look around. Someone's guest room. Comfortable, functional, tasteful. Family portraits on the wall, a Monet reproduction from his lilies series near the window, a made bed with cushions and a quilt. On the table is someone's coke. I thank the Universe for this moment and snort. It bursts behind my right eyeball and my brain crackles to attention. I find my jacket and walk out into the hall.

I clean myself up in a bathroom and peek in the medicine cabinet. Nothing good. Perhaps the owner is aware of my kind. Maybe he is one of us. Or maybe someone like my girlfriend beat me to the punch.

A clock I pass tells me it is 3:33 in the a.m. The Witching hour. I hear distant human noises and follow them into a spacious living room. My boots reverberate off the hardwood floor for this part of the house is silent. A sharp contrast to events earlier. Before music blasted, hundreds of drunken voices rose up in unison as a challenge to the alien night sky. I look outside in the silent gloom. The pool is full of beer cans, cups, lawn furniture, clothes and towels. A fountain nymph has been knocked over and beheaded. Trash is strewn everywhere. From the amount of smashed wine bottles on the patio it looks like they found the cellar. Every door and cabinet on the outdoor bar is yanked open and the contents spewed across the lawn. An outdoor refrigerator stands wide open and is on fire. The flickering flames make the reflection of my face orange and demonic in the window pane.

I keep walking.

The house was locked during the party so inside is another world. Clean and orderly. The smells of an unknown family. Spices, cooking scents and lemon furniture polish. A gas fireplace cheerfully burns. The mantle is covered with a nautical clock collection. An archipelago of Persian rugs over a wooden floor leads me to the theater room where I find my friends. Dev and Jason are playing Mario Kart while Kym and Melo talk with three guys I saw earlier. Melo looks up at and grins.

"There he is!"

"I feel...", I pause because the world blurs for a moment. It retracts slowly and then pops back into focus. I rub my face. "I feel weird."

"Yeah you got knocked out", said Jason leaning into a turn as Dev shrieks something about turtle shells.

Kym stands up and walks over to me. Tonight she wears a red bandana wrapped around purple hair. A white crop top, gold belly chain and black jeans with a wide, silver studded belt. Black boots and her leather jacket. She recently got her jacket spiked to match mine. Her leather features the next star chart on the Milky Way traveling away from our solar system. Kym caresses my cheek which throbs.

"Did I win?"

Kym laughs and kisses me.

"You almost tied?", offers Dev from the floor.

"Almost babe", agrees Kym smiling. "Not much of a fighter are you?"

"That was my second fight. The first was was in third grade with Tommy Melkin."

"Did you win?" asks Melo.

"No. I ran away after he hit me."

Earlier in San Francisco, Dev knocks on our door. I let her in suspiciously. When she is alone there are sometimes spirits and otherworldly entities swirling around her. But she just wanted to take a shower. Kym allows this so I let her in. When she comes out she goes into our room to help Kym paint tiny skulls on her nails. Later Melo comes by.

"Party in Emerald Hills", says Kym.

"Where?"

"Emerald Hills. The Peninsula" says Kym. "Melo we have to hit up a liquor store ok?"

Melo turned 21 first so the poor bastard gets to buy booze for us 20 year olds. The perk is he always gets drunk for free when he hangs out.

"It's my friend Annie from school. She's turning 20 and her parents are in France so...party. Sorry guys. These people are kinda weird" warns Dev.

I look at her. Dev cuts her hands to draw ritual blood magic circles. She talks to spirits and old gods. So I have to ask.

"Weird?"

"Suburb kids. Gap clothes, Jamba Juice wheat grass purges and frozen yogurt...Trust fund drop outs with thousand dollar Beanie Baby collections" she offers.

"What? Like sane versions of you Dev?" says Jason strolling in through the front door.

He lifts up his shirt and pulls a McDonalds bag from his waistband and dumps it on the table. He drops next to it and takes out all the coke and heroin he scored across the bay.

"Not much China white", says Jason. "All tar. Mexicans have a chokehold on the competition. Only the biker guys and Vietnamese dudes have powder. And boy do they know it."

"Maybe I don't want to go", says Dev in a small voice.

We all can see why. Dev was totally that weird kid that never fit in. We have always viewed her as our insane friend and just go with it. But growing up? That must have been cruel.

"Dev! Fuck Monkey is playing your friend's party!" says Kym waving a cigarette around to make her point.

Kym is obsessed with Fuck Monkey because lately she has been on a disco kick. Fuck Monkey is a cover band. Mostly Bee Gees and Abba.

"Fuck Monkey!" she emphasizes again as Jason tears the foil.

"But all those people...they were so-" Dev scrunches into an embryonic ball on the floor with her knees to her chin.

Her fear of her high school peer group is the first normal thing I have ever seen from Dev. So I offer, "We can always go to Slims."

"C'mon Dev!", begs Kym rolling her eyes and clutching Dev's filthy orange gypsy skirt. "I'm from fucking Danville! The suburbs suck! But Fuck Monkey! Please!"

"Oh fuck you Khadja", says Dev still frowning. Then she looks up, "OK. Fine. Let's go but Melo?"

"Hmm?"

"I need the kit."

And we smoke. Dev shoots. The poppy's bloom behind our eyes and time erodes into the Friday night. We do coke as Kym gets ready and Jason orders a pizza. Finally, Melo carries Dev's slumped body to the car and Kym drives us south into the suburbs.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?" yells the largest goddamn talking primate I have ever seen.

I know who the bitch is. But this guy? Holy fucking steroid crazy mutant motherfucking shit! He's not very tall which makes it worse. The short ones HATE me. But he is wide and ridiculously muscular. His arms and neck are thicker than my thighs. I walk into this knowing I am truly fucked.

All night this dominate primate man craps on everything. His name is Baron for fuck's sake. All he talks about is beating up people. He sucks down beer after beer. His face was almost angelic. Blond curls framing olive green eyes. But the eyes were dead. Like a domesticated beast. Dumb. Dull. Reflecting very little human soul. His chin was like the end of a brick and everything below it was solid.

The band was amazing. They were dressed like extras from Les Misérables. Short set but intense with that infectious disco bass. They played on a lawn that was at least a half acre long broken up by fountains and statuary. This type of wealth astounds me. I showed Melo the reproduction of the mosaic depicting Alexander the Great breaking the army of Darius, last king of the Achaemenid Empire. Japanese koi fish swam over it. Kym and Dev walk by smoking cigarettes and talking. Obviously at ease in their childhood surroundings. They never even glance at the beauty and symbolic power of the Alexander mural.

Dev knew the house code to the elevator so we could go inside. On the ground level was a space that housed the car and motorcycle collection. Ride the elevator down to the underground pool and gym facilities. Ride up to the atrium entrance. A spiral stairway led to the bedrooms. Jason complained loudly about this.

"What the fuck Winchester mystery house? Elevator to the subterranean pool but not the bedroom? The architect must have been smoking Mexican tar. Shit makes you lazy. Now if he had the ECP he would have built hamster tube connectors for the coked out fuckers who can't stand being trapped in elevators."

Two smaller houses flank the main compound. One for each sister. A family of four would be comfortable in either structure. I sit in one of these houses and look at yearbooks. Outside is a swarming cluster fuck of bored college-aged suburban kids mingling under tiki torch lights, swimming and getting wasted on expensive liquor. In the yearbook I find a freshmen Devika Liora. A tiny, awkward normal looking girl with a sexless utilitarian haircut. But a glorious fucking smile. Sophomore year she has a dyed black goth mushroom hairdo and a scowl. Junior year she has a shaved head and painted, manic eyes. No senior picture. Then I hear trouble outside.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?" yells the largest goddamn talking primate I have ever seen.

And Kym is toe to toe with the monster yelling back.

"Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the fuck out of here!" she yells as she throws the contents of her keg cup on him.

The crowd holds it breath as the red cup bounces off his enormous, sloped forehead. Baron is the biggest asshole for miles and has been King Bully from kindergarten to this moment. Whoever he was tormenting backed off and Kym filled the spot.

He gapes at his Tommy Hilfiger shirt in disbelief. The beer presses the material against his wide chest as I make my way towards the circle. The crowd sensing violence reacts.

"Hey Baron! It's all good! Let it go dude!"

"Hey c'mon man. Let it go!"

But more frightening:

"Fucking cunt! Get her Baron! Get HER!"

As he looks up I stand between them. His piggy little eyes sparkle. I see joy as thoughts are processed through the smooth lobes of his brain.

"Sorry", I say. "We're leaving ok?"

And he swings. I have a half second to drop back as his fist slams into my shoulder throwing me back into Kym. We both fly back a good three feet and slide across the ground into the scattering stampede of onlooker's feet as they scramble to make way. I jump up and throw myself at him with no idea what I'm supposed to do. Baron catches me in midair. His fingers are like bananas and crush me in the grip as he rears back to beat me. With useless arms I slam my forehead into his face. I feel a CRACK and he drops me bellowing. Now I have chance! I look up...and wake up sideways on the someone else's couch smelling my stomach contents.

"Cheater!", shrieks Dev.

Jason dramatically leaps to his feet while tossing the controller in the air and points at her, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

"I think I'm gonna puke again", I announce.

"Have some water" says Melo offering me a bottle.

"Have you considered the possibility that you may have a concussion?" asks the Arabic looking kid wearing an O'Neil hoodie.

"I have no idea what happened", I shrug.

His friend sitting next to him in glasses is rolling a joint and looks up. "Baron just started throwing uppercuts into your body and then he clocked you with a right. Lights out."

"Ah."

Kym puts her arms around my neck from behind. Even this hurts but it's worth it so sag into her embrace.

"Babe this is Mike", the Arab guy nods, "Jeff", the guy rolling the joint waves his hand as he licks the paper, "and Parker." A chubby Asian kid smiles and nods. "Mike dates Annie. They all go to Santa Barbara."

I shrug.

"We're in Annie's house", fills in Kym.

"Oh. Hey sorry for the ruckus."

"Oh dude that Baron guy has been a prick since 5th grade. Steroids made him psycho. It was awesome you guys took him out. Asshole wasn't even invited", laughs Mike.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"Melo hit him with a shovel", says Dev joining the circle as Jeff lights the joint.

"That guy was huge, I needed something", grinned Melo. "Barely slowed him down. Guy's a beast. But Jason dropped him. One shot and he went down."

"Good thing", says Jason joining the circle. "This chick told me in high school he lifted like 500 lbs. You do not want to be on the receiving end of that. His fists are like canned hams."

So we smoked. Kym and I were antsy. I could feel Dev and Melo were getting there too but Jason looked zen because he was holding and probably enjoying.

I learned from our new friends that Baron started problems by stealing a keg. His crew just grabbed one during the band and left. Then they came back for another one later. One of Annie's friend's called them out on it and Baron shoved him. In doing so he bumped Kym who got into it. Luckily, someone called the cops.

I looked at Mike, Jeff and Parker. Santa Barbara imparted a laid back beach culture vibe on them. Like even though it was winter Mike and Parker wore rubber slippers instead of shoes. Most of the guys at the party had short hair and backwards baseball caps. These three had shaggy hair like they were debating to grow it out. They looked as out of place at this party as we did.

"Jase", said Kym, "bump me some love."

I watch their faces. Marijuana and drinking is common in their circle. But I sense Kym was opening a gate these three never saw. Alert and interested, the Nintendo was forgotten.

"Uhm Kym...", says Dev looking at Mike.

"Don't worry Dev. Annie's passed out" says Mike. "What? Coke?"

"Naw" says Kym. "Coke AND heroin."

"Whoa!" says Parker looking at Jeff. But Mike sits up.

"Is that like opium?"

"Not really", says Melo. "More intense. Opium is closer to morphine."

"What...?" purrs Kym suggestively. "You boys want to try? I am exactly what your mothers warned you about..."

"Kym" sighs Jason. "This is not exactly the best-"

"Hey it's cool!", says Mike. "I'll totally pay if thats what you mean. I just want to try..."

"Mike!" says Parker, "Dude it's heroin. HER-O-IN!"

"I'll buy some too", says Jeff.

"Boys!" smiles Jason rubbing his forehead. "Look it's your party, you guys smoked us out and you let us chill here when the cops came. I'll get you high if you want."

"I want", says Mike sitting up.

Kym feeds herself first. Then I take a bump, Melo, Jason and Dev follow. We sit there in the unknown house eyes wide open and floating into the other world like a leaf spiraling towards a pond. I nod and feel myself sinking into still waters. I watch Kym offer a tiny bump to them. She rolls the straw across the glass table to Mike. I stare at the skull painted on her fingernail.

Jason stares into Kym's unwavering eyes, shakes his head and silently mouths: Devil's daughter.



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 12:18PM by morbo2000 http://ift.tt/1fDEiOr opiates

I'm so fucking sick of being poor. offmychest

I have been poor my entire life. My parents never went to college. My dad joined the army right after high school and after that he spent his entire life as a welder making shit money. My mom has been working in a cafeteria in a nursing home for ten years. Before that she worked at a drugstore. Before that a liquor store. They both have horrible credit and can't afford to buy me anything. I work my ass off and I'm trying so hard to finish college and make it out of poverty but I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. If I graduate from college I'll be the first person in my family to have earned a degree.

Every day I wake up in this disgusting old ugly house and I see my parents who don't even bother to take care of themselves and it makes me feel physically sick. My dad does nothing but chain smoke cigarettes all day, drink beer, and watch crime shows. My mom is so overweight that the bones in her legs are starting to go crooked and she hobbles around like she is disabled, going from the kitchen to the living room, eating shit food and sleeping in a big armchair. I try to get them to be healthy and they just don't care. They get grocery money and buy a bunch of bullshit - nothing but chips, cookies, soda, and fried foods. My little brother is so overweight that he is prediabetic now. We don't even eat unless we have ebt money. I make more money than the both of them waiting tables at the restaurant I work at and I don't even make much money. Most of the money I make goes to them to help put food on the table and keep the electricity on. I don't even have a car, I can't get around anywhere.

I want more than this. My family disgusts me. I'm so embarrassed of them. I hate bringing people over to my house - this crappy house that we rent that has bird shit all over the porch and mice problems. I hate for people to see my mom and how badly she's let herself go. I hate for people to see my 300 pound little brother and how his weight is obviously a result of the shitty food his parents are giving him. I hate that when my friends talk about how they're going on vacation with their families I can't relate because we can barely afford to get a rental car to drive my little brother to college next month.

I feel like I've been cheated out of life. I didn't ask to be here, none of my siblings did. Why did they even have us if they knew they couldn't take care of us? Now I'm stuck with this shitty life and this shitty family. I can't take it anymore. I would rather be dead than go another day watching my mother slowly deteriorate because of her shitty choices, and watching my father open the empty refrigerator to grab the beer he decided to spend his money on instead.

My little brother and I are our families last hope. If I don't graduate and get a job or if he doesn't, all four of my mothers children will be failures that will have amounted to absolutely nothing. None of us will be able to afford to care for them when they start to die. None of them have retirement plans. They have nothing but us. I just want to enjoy my 20s. I just want to make friends and not feel like I'm trash because of how poor I am. I want to be able to bring my family to social gatherings with my friends families but I just can't. I always have to make excuses for them and why they can't come. Truth is they have no money to do anything and they don't have clothes to go out in.

I don't want this life. I wish my mother had aborted me.



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 09:59AM by puddingpopp http://ift.tt/1FCnZGE offmychest

TIFU by overdoing it with bleach, among other questionable choices. tifu

The unfortunate events that follow transpired about a week ago. Brace yourselves; like an elderly porn star's member, this ride is long and bumpy.

First, background. I am moving out of the apartment I have lived in for the past year and, in an effort to make the process easier come move-out day, I have been cleaning the place up over the course of the past week or so. This has been one of the more arduous undertakings I have ever faced. To my eternal shame, I, along with my roommates, have lived like a filthy, savage animal for the past year. I don't quite understand how it happened--I am normally quite a clean, fastidious person--but over the course of the last 365 days the four of us (my roommates and I) have taken a perfectly decent living space and transformed it into a putrid, stinking garbage-scape. Two of my roommates have gone already, and one is some weird social vampire that seldom leaves his room, so the effort to de-filthify the apartment was left to me.

I approached the task with an old-school, Genesis style strategy: On the first day, I cleaned the trash out of the living room and vacuumed the carpet that lay beneath. And it was good. On the second day, I banished the slime from the refrigerator and smote with fiery Windex the grease that clung to the stove. And it, too, was good. On the third day, I drove out the year's worth of cum rags from beneath my bed and washed and folded the mountains of laundry on the floor. This, too, was good. On the fourth day I was freaking done with cleaning and went to the beach. But on the fifth and final day, (things were bad, but not bad enough to warrant a full week, thank . . . me, I guess) on the fifth day, I undertook to clean the filthiest room of all--the bathroom.

Things in the bathroom were bad. Real bad. Too real and too bad for a mere mortal such as myself. Mold. Mildew. Everywhere. Don't open your eyes. Don't open your mouth. Squeeze tight your sphincter and pray none of the infected moldy air worms its way inside of you. That kind of bad. So I bleached the living holy fuck out of it. I was like a vengeful god, smiting sinners with holy bolts of unbridled furious sanitation. I probably wiped out entire microbe civilizations in the span of a single afternoon. Such was my righteous fury. With scrub brush and scouring pad, I overthrew the tyranny of rot and decay that had established itself over the past year of neglect. However, there was a shitty, shitty lining to this wonderfully clean and sparking cloud. Bleach fumes. They last longer than you'd think. The bathroom, despite being cleaner than a bottle of hand sanitizer, was unusable for a significant time after cleaning it. I had gone way overboard with the bleach. This was the first fuck up.

Flash forward several hours. I have now spent considerable time googling the ill-effects bleach fumes can wreak on the human body and am now terrified of going into the bleach Chernobyl that is my bathroom. Flash forward again a couple of minutes. My bowels are rumbling. They must be released. But what do I do? I can't just scoot into the bathroom, drop my bomb, and dash. The storm building in my colon is going to take longer than that to pass. But neither can I ride it out. I'll choke on the bleach fumes and die with shit hanging out my ass. Ignominious, and unacceptable. But wait! A lightbulb goes off. I'll just go to my girlfriend's place and do the deed there! (Our apartment did have two bathrooms, but I only cleaned the one I shared. My other two roomates' bathroom was even worse than mine--it was like some sort of twisted DARPA biological weapons development lab--no way I was going anywhere near that).

So, my course of action was set. Over the hills and to GF's house to poop I go. I am in a significant hurry as the urge is . . . pressing. However, the storm brewing in the sky is impressive enough to distract me for a moment from the hurricane churning in my bowels. the storm clouds are so crazy looking that I even stop to take a picture of them. "This is like the storm from Mad Max," I think. "Hey, I'm kind of like Mad Max," I then think. I smile to myself in satisfaction at this comparison. You are like Mad Max, u/iPeedYouaPoem. And then I'm on my way and I think no more of it.

I arrive at GF's place. Hi. How are you. Good. I am good. I have to poop. My bathroom is Chernobyl. Poop here. All set. I ascend the throne and enjoy a long, triumphant poop. I read several politico articles. I am feeling good. I flush, wash my hands, and take my leave of the bathroom. GF is in the living room reading. Hello. How are you. Good. Oh, yes, the poop was quite nice. I read politico. Nice. GF is the best. I was full of poop, and in my time of need, she gave me a toilet. However, I notice a strange roaring sound coming from outside. I look out the window. There is a horizontal wall of water rushing past outside. It is raining completely sideways. And then every cell in my body, from my brainstem to my butthole clenches. Dread seeps into the very fiber of my being. I left the windows open. Not my car windows. The windows to my apartment.

You see, in an effort to speed up the evacuation of the toxic bleach fumes from my bathroom, I had opened all the windows in the apartment. I had, however, totally forgotten this. I half swim, half sprint back to my apartment. But I'm too late. I arrive to find everything in the living room even more drenched than I am.

I then spent the rest of the night drying everything out. But that's not all. In a fitting coda to my series of fuck ups, I sliced up my fingers trying to dry off the blinds, because apparently blinds are made with razor blades.

tl;dr: I used way too much bleach cleaning my bathroom, opened the windows to air the place out, left without closing windows right before a massive storm to go poop at my GF's house since my bathroom was soaked in bleach, swamp moved into my living room while I was enjoying a leisurely bowel movement elsewhere. And then cut my fingers all up because the swamp just wasn't enough.



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 09:03AM by iPeedYouaPoem http://ift.tt/1BBQ0Tq tifu

1271 morrow crt in kern place, I'm having a sale for pretty much anything in my house ElPaso

I'm getting kicked out of the house by the bank, and I don't really need anything, so pretty much everything is up for grabs, I have an older 70" tv, guitars, amps, speakers, VHSs (if you really want them), I have a gaming laptop, art, mattresses, furniture, even more TVs, toys, refrigerators, if you bring me anything you find in my garage or closet (I might offer you a price on it). For larger items be sure to have transport for it.

Cash and checks. I'm willing to give up a lot, I might even give some away for free. Try and get the word around, I only have till Saturday, and I'll be ready to sell at 10:00 am.



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 09:23AM by NIQuribe http://ift.tt/1NiWzf5 ElPaso

Medium size refrigerator (Windsor Terrace) FreeStuffNYC

Used refrigerator, medium sized, decent shape. I am not sure how old it is, but it works fine and isn't loud.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1TNQ5cD

via IFTTT



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 08:49AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1FChROq FreeStuffNYC

My refrigerator is so full it won't hold all of the food I have. firstworldproblems

No text found

Submitted June 25, 2015 at 08:13AM by KarmaBuns http://ift.tt/1BNG61r firstworldproblems

[WTS] Working Refrigerator and Wooden Display Hutch (posting on behalf of elderly friends in StL) StLouisMarketplace

[WTS] Selling a working side by side refrigerator, perfect for a garage spare. Also selling a huge Ethan Allen lighted display Hutch. I have photos of both. Prices are negotiable, just need everything gone by Next Wednesday MORNING. Thanks in advance



Submitted June 25, 2015 at 05:24AM by AJCPT http://ift.tt/1TNAhGR StLouisMarketplace

[Science] How Americans got meat wrong -- Article keto

Thought you guys might like this. Slightly long read.

http://ift.tt/RYJaBq

Article details the composition of the American diet from the late 18th century onwards, in which Americans ate a huge amount of meat and few vegetables.

Very relevant to our diet choices now, and likewise to the explanation of how Western society got to the obesity epidemic it now has.

Article concludes by providing data that correlate the rise in heart disease and adiposity with the increase in vegetable (or grain)/carb consumption increase provided by new foods and the refrigerator.

Nice read for anyone wondering how diet in America has changed over the last century.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 09:51PM by the_straylight_run http://ift.tt/1GIcMIw keto

60 Days! stopdrinking

After I made it 30 days sober, I ordered a 60-day chip on eBay, kept it on my refrigerator unopened, and wrote today's date on the package. Every single day out of the past 30 days, I have looked at that package, waiting for the moment to rip it open and enjoy my prize. One day at a time, I told myself. Like an impatient child on Christmas Eve, I was excited last night about what today would bring. FINALLY, tonight after work, before bed, after making it another sober day, I will rip the package open and cherish my chip. I do not attend AA, but I appreciate its message, and the chips are fantastic motivators.

HERE IS TO 60 DAYS OF HAVING A CLEAR HEAD! My 90-day chip is next. :)



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 05:36PM by bbwcfan http://ift.tt/1SJHt5m stopdrinking

[SELLING] [UK to anywhere] Innisfree, The Face Shop, Etude House and Mamonde sheet masks + Hada Labo, Mizon, Biore and OST C20 asianbeautyexchange

Hi all,

We shall call this the "I've just realised I'm sensitive to alcohol" sale. All products are new & unopened unless stated otherwise. Verification and pictures can be found here. I have:

Sheet masks

Bundle of The Face Shop real nature masks (rice, acai berry, pomegranate, avocado, aloe, green tea), £4

Bundle of Innisfree It's real Squeeze masks (pomegranate, aloe, strawberry, rose, bija, manuka honey) £4

Bundle of Etude House I Need You masks (green tea, aloe, pearl, vita complex) £2.50

My Beauty Diary Hyaluronic Acid mask, £6 for 9

Etude House I Need You, Vita Complex mask, £5 for 8

Mamonde Lotus Cooling & Soothing mask, £1 for 2

Innisfree Second Skin Moisture hydrogel mask, £1

Other

Mizon AHA & BHA Daily Clean Toner, £15

Hada Labo Kiwamisu Lotion, £10

OST C20 (April batch, stored in refrigerator), £10

Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Gel SPF50 PA++++, used twice, £6

Shipping

  • to the UK: £2 for 3 day shipping (can do 1st class mail if you want it faster)

  • to the US is £7 ($11) for 7 day shipping

  • for other countries, PM me and I'll figure out how much Royal Mail charges to get stuff to you!

I'm willing to bundle things together at a discount :)

Have at it people! Enjoy my alcohol sensitivity.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 05:02PM by loumi02 http://ift.tt/1BApCcP asianbeautyexchange

There's Something Downstairs nosleep

I live in a two-story house.
It's just another regular night here as I'm in my room upstairs browsing the internet like I usually do until get tired.
My kitchen light downstairs was still on, and I was going to turn it off pretty soon before going to sleep; I was thinking about getting a cup of water while I was at it.

As I was browsing the front page of reddit and looking at a thread about the future of cloth physics in video games or something, I heard what sounded like something moving around downstairs. It sounded like it was coming from the hallway that's right beside my kitchen. I was obviously a bit alarmed by the noise so I got up from my chair and walked slowly to my doorway so I could hear more clearly.

There were definitely sounds.

It sounded like something was fiddling with a plastic bag down there, and based on the noise it didn't sound like a mouse. A large rat, maybe, but it sounded bigger because I also heard strange breathing-out noises. Something was breathing out. Do rats do that??? The moment I left my room, the sounds downstairs stopped and I listened carefully for a minute but nothing else besides the ticking of my clock and the hum of my refrigerator were audible.

I went downstairs slowly, looked and listened carefully, but nothing was there. I decided to smack one of the walls very loudly near my kitchen to see if something would come out or make noise. Not a thing. From there I simply turned off my kitchen light and quickly went back upstairs.

I decided to wait in the dark in my upstairs hallway. I waited about 10 minutes. No sounds.
I thought maybe whatever it was knew I was there, so it wouldn't come out anymore. I decided to go into my room and get back onto my computer.

It bugged me however, and I went in and out of my room four times before deciding to write this post on reddit.

I'm going to open my door and listen one more time before I try getting some sleep.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 02:58PM by Cafallen http://ift.tt/1QPtEoo nosleep

A TLDR review of Centerfold's Bombshell. electronic_cigarette

Hype. I work in a business were a lot of products are hyped up beyond belief. In a way, a large part of my job is seeing through hype in order to find what is really the best product available., regardless of reputation. It's really rare when something lives up to the snowball effect of glowing reviews.

Centerfold Vape Co gets a lot of hype on this sub...and it's for a reason. I won't review Blondie or Sammie as it's been done to death. They are insane good. Just plain damned tasty. Try them yourself. If you don't like them, a dog will bite you.

I'd like to review a juice from that doesn't get much hype:

Centerfold Bombshell:

My setup: .5 ohm 26 gauge dual coils wicked with japanese cotton in a Mutation x V3. Sig 150 vaping @ 60w

Presentation: Attractive label, flavor name, nic level, ingredients and typical safety warnings. No Born on or expiration date. The juice itself is pretty orange/yellow

PG/VG: 27/73. I wonder why they choose such a random ratio? Right up my alley VG wise, though.

Manufacturer Description: "Bananas and cream with a twinge of coconut, and laced with citrusy fruits. Our fruitiest vape. You banana nuts will love this."

Tasting notes: This juice really got me going. I'm a big custard/cream/cereal guy...so I was a tad worried this would be too fruity for me. I gotta say, on the first inhale, thought I had sucked up a bunch of juice into my mouth. I hadn't...Bombshell is just super powerful in flavor! All sorts of fruity madness going on here. Fresh fruit I must add, not candy or artificial fruit. As I describe these fruit notes, imagine you are standing in a parking lot when it's 110 degrees out and you just pulled these fruits out of an ice cold refrigerator. That is how fresh and luscious these fruits are.

Banana. Lots of Banana. It rides on the back of the most subdued creaminess...barely there. Right after that, I get a big bite of juicy pineapple. My wife is from Hawaii. She took me to Dole plantation and I ate a pineapple fresh from the ground. That is what I taste in this juice. I also get a little blood orange, some kiwi, and maybe a tart berry that I can't pin down. So nuanced and orchestral! Yum

Right here I want to add that most juices with this much pineapple or citrus tend to cloy my palate badly or make my tongue sore. They are also usually really perfume like. This juice has neither of the pre-mentioned issues and tastes unbelievably natural.

I've vaped 13 of my 15 mls in one day. I can't believe how hard I've crushed this bottle of juice.

Vapor production: Good stuff. This juice rips. Boobs were chunked.

Overall: See above. Wowzas. A perfect tropical fruit juice.

Cons: I gotta get a con in so I don't come off like a shill. It's hard, but I've got one. This one seems to have some pretty artificial color to it. When you swirl the bottle, the juice leave a trail of color on the plastic that lasts for awhile. Maybe I'm wrong and it's from the flavoring (which is soooo jam packed), but if I'm right, maybe it could be toned down a bit. I'm just not a fan of colorings.

Hope you liked it. I'm enjoying writing these reviews as a break from my crazy work life. Let me know if I can do anything better/different/etc.

Upcoming Reviews: CTC Cereal and Mars from Blue Dot. Some tobaccos and newer flavors from the vapor chef (the first juice I've bought from them in well over a year)

Thanks for reading.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 12:20PM by OfBlinkingThings http://ift.tt/1J48qwj electronic_cigarette

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Free fridge /refrigerator (Crown Heights) FreeStuffNYC

Free Maytag refrigerator. Model number: MTB1976HRW. Engine is working but stopped cooling a few days ago. Pick up in CH.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1SIsvwx

via IFTTT



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 08:42AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1Ll7upv FreeStuffNYC

Whos a player that everyone thinks is a legend but really wasnt very good? nfl

It was before my time but according to my dad William "The Refrigerator" Perry was an average to relatively mediocre player.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 08:00AM by I_love_pearljam http://ift.tt/1df0m03 nfl

18 M4A - Congratulations, You've Won!!! dirtypenpals

You wake up to a commotion outside your door. Once open, you discover a large box-similar in size to a refrigerator box-packaged neatly with an envelope attached to it, addressed only to "Winner!". When you open it, a festive font reads out "Hello lucky winner! You have recently entered our contest by submitting your address into our raffle, and as a result you have won our drawing. Please enjoy your prize!” Inside you find me lying on my back: my vision restricted by a tight white blindfold with "Toy” written over the front in black, a tight white jock-strap containing my member. My wrists and ankles bound tightly with a ½ thick length of rope which prevent most movement. Another envelope is tucked into my mouth, this one addressed to "New Toy Owner”. This one opens to a more formal font, but the tone remains the same. "Congratulations on your contest prize! As you most likely deduced, the prize you have won is the toy packaged here. It is your property to use to your discretion."

Hello DPP! As you can most likely guess, this prompt will include me being submissive-the level of which being up to you. I can be your obedient toy or I can be reluctant in my new lifestyle. It can be discussed a little but I'd like the prompt to stay fairly the same.

Regardless, here's my kink and limits list!

Kinks: Ass worship, anal, analingus, submissiveness(on my part but I'm open as a switch), multiple orgasms, orgasm torture, snowballing, cumplay, and most things. Please ask about it if its not listed!

Limits: Extreme Beatiality(Things like horses/non household animals), vomit, scat, and weird body mods. Like I said, just ask and you can check :)

Men and women are welcome! If you're literate and won't disappear on me then I'd love to be owned by you!



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 07:23AM by secret_fake http://ift.tt/1Nhu8hK dirtypenpals

Investigating a business for purchase | Need equipment appraisal smallbusiness

I’m performing my due diligence on a small, learnable, businesses that has a manufacturing component. The company’s assets consist of various fixtures and equipment that I cannot value alone.

Can anyone recommend an equipment appraiser in the northeastern U.S.? The equipment consists of food manufacturing components, compressors, and refrigerators.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 06:53AM by Fspriggs http://ift.tt/1IcTwVX smallbusiness

[FOR SALE] Moving Sale. Santa Monica. A bunch of stuff for SALE and a bunch of stuff that is FREE. LAlist

Moving Sale

I’m moving, which means I need to sell a bunch of stuff (and hopefully offset some of the moving costs. Please contact me asap if you want anything, as I am moving out July 1.

  1. Two matching couches: FREE (decent condition - they have seen better days, but are still FANTASTIC couches). One couch seats three and the other seats two. They are cloth and EXTREMELY plush and comfortable. They are about 10 years old, and have some visible wear. If you want these couches, you need to bring a truck that will fit them. Also, they do not fit through the door so (I know this sounds ridiculous but) you need to hoist them over the railing on the balcony (don't worry, I'm on the second floor). Most movers can do this. It's probably a 2 man operation.

  2. White Kenmore Refridgerator. $175 (less than six months old). Just google "Kenmore 18 cu. ft. Top Freezer Refrigerator w/ Wire Shelves - White"

  3. Miscellaneous DVDS - $1.00 each. For every four you buy, you get one free (of your choice):

  • Three Stooges
  • oceans thirteen
  • walk the line
  • the aristocrats
  • animal house
  • bugsy
  • its always sunny in philadelphia - misc. seasons
  • curb your enthusiasm - misc. seasons
  • superbad
  • drive thru records vol. 1
  • crash
  • swingers
  • gone baby gone
  • the godfather
  • weeds - misc seasons
  • casino royale 007
  • what the bleep do we know - down the rabbit hole
  • borat
  • oceans twelve
  • the history boys
  • the departed
  • goodfellas
  • ren and stimpy - misc seasons
  • the grand
  • its always sunny in philadelphia - christmas special
  1. Kitchen Table: $100: http://ift.tt/1BzJzjM

  2. White Ikea Bookshelf: $50: http://ift.tt/PtkpfK

  3. White Ikea Coffeetable: $50: http://ift.tt/QMFmmI

  4. White Ikea sofa table: $50 http://ift.tt/1dOmV54

  5. Men's Clothes - FREE

Ties, suit jacket, pants, tee shirt, and a bunch of other stuff. Everything would fit a guy with the following specs: 32x32 pants, 38 jacket, six feet tall, longer arms. (size 15 1/2 shirt). Its a bunch of clothes - if you want it, come and get it.

EMAIL FOR PICS - trying to get this stuff out ASAP, so the sooner the better.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 06:35AM by miketestonetwo http://ift.tt/1QOUflI LAlist

Imagine that due to a natural disaster you have no electricity, and the food in your refrigerator and freezer has all spoiled. Using a gas stove, what will you make for dinner using only what is in your pantry right now? food

I would make a vegetarian pozole using enchilada sauce, canned hominy, and great northern beans.



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 05:52AM by charweb31 http://ift.tt/1BL9TYw food

Magnetic Loop for 20 Meters Help amateurradio

Hello everyone, I moved to an apartment so the big old dipole I'd been using had to go. I whacked together a simple magnetic loop antenna over the weekend using a 3kV open-air capacitor and some (very thin) refrigerator copper tubing.

I can receive, and the tuning cap indeed does its job, but I have only managed one very weak contact on transmit.

I have two main questions:

MOST IMPORTANTLY: When I begin to TX, I turn down the output power on my Icom IC-737 to the minimum possible, throw it in AM, and tune for 1:1 swr. This is always possible on the 20m band (1:1). Only after checking and re-checking that my SWR is <<1.5 do I switch back to SSB and turnh up the juice. Is this the safe, best practice for using a magnetic loop? I don't want to unwittingly damage my 737. When I use AM and turn the power up to the full output, I noticed that there is a brief arc across the cap plates, so I no longer turn it up all the way, though I have never seen arcing in SSB even with full power and full modulation under test. What effectg could arcing have on my transmitter if it is noticed immediately?

SECONDLY: Presumably, based on the pacific66 calculator, I am getting very poor efficiency due to the tubing I used being about 0.5cm in diameter. Is it worth it for me to use that thinner tubing as the faraday fed loop, and then go buy the proper length of 3/4" or greater copper coiled tubing?

Any general magloop info is welcomed here. I have read everything pertaining to magloops in the archives and a lot of the information is contradictory or too introductory.

(I am licensed btw, I just prefer to remain semi-private) Thanks everyone!

http://ift.tt/1eGfzcc



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 02:40AM by SpoopyLoops http://ift.tt/1JhjzN0 amateurradio

18 M4A - Congratulations, You've Won!!! dirtypenpals

You wake up to a commotion outside your door. Once open, you discover a large box-similar in size to a refrigerator box-packaged neatly with an envelope attached to it, addressed only to "Winner!". When you open it, a festive font reads out "Hello lucky winner! You have recently entered our contest by submitting your address into our raffle, and as a result you have won our drawing. Please enjoy your prize!”

Inside you find me lying on my back: my vision restricted by a tight white blindfold with "Toy” written over the front in black, a tight white jock-strap containing my member. My wrists and ankles bound tightly with a ½ thick length of rope which prevent most movement. Another envelope is tucked into my mouth, this one addressed to "New Toy Owner”. This one opens to a more formal font, but the tone remains the same. "Congratulations on your contest prize! As you most likely deduced, the prize you have won is the toy packaged here. It is your property to use to your discretion."

Hello DPP! As you can most likely guess, this prompt will include me being submissive-the level of which being up to you. I can be your obedient toy or I can be reluctant in my new lifestyle. It can be discussed a little but I'd like the prompt to stay fairly the same.

Regardless, here's my kink and limits list!

Kinks: Ass worship, anal, analingus, submissiveness(on my part but I'm open as a switch), multiple orgasms, orgasm torture, snowballing, cumplay, and most things. Please ask about it if its not listed!

Limits: Extreme Beatiality(Things like horses/non household animals), vomit, scat, and weird body mods. Like I said, just ask and you can check :)

Men and women are welcome! If you're literate and won't disappear on me then I'd love to be owned by you!



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 02:55AM by secret_fake http://ift.tt/1JhjzfU dirtypenpals

Cast Iron Bathtub Etc (Prospect Heights) FreeStuffNYC

I am giving away a cast iron bathtub in very good condition, a stove, a dishwasher and a refrigerator, all in fair condition. But you must take all four items and also take out some debris which must be removed. Please call show contact info for more info [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/1GFsO60

via IFTTT



Submitted June 24, 2015 at 01:13AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1fy2ba5 FreeStuffNYC

18 M4A - Congratulations, You've Won!!! dirtypenpals

You wake up to a commotion outside your door. Once open, you discover a large box-similar in size to a refrigerator box-packaged neatly with an envelope attached to it, addressed only to "Winner!". When you open it, a festive font reads out "Hello lucky winner! You have recently entered our contest by submitting your address into our raffle, and as a result you have won our drawing. Please enjoy your prize!”

Inside you find me lying on my back: my vision restricted by a tight white blindfold with "Toy” written over the front in black, a tight white jock-strap containing my member. My wrists and ankles bound tightly with a ½ thick length of rope which prevent most movement. Another envelope is tucked into my mouth, this one addressed to "New Toy Owner”. This one opens to a more formal font, but the tone remains the same. "Congratulations on your contest prize! As you most likely deduced, the prize you have won is the toy packaged here. It is your property to use to your discretion."

Hello DPP! As you can most likely guess, this prompt will include me being submissive-the level of which being up to you. I can be your obedient toy or I can be reluctant in my new lifestyle. It can be discussed a little but I'd like the prompt to stay fairly the same.

Regardless, here's my kink and limits list!

Kinks: Ass worship, anal, analingus, submissiveness(on my part but I'm open as a switch), multiple orgasms, orgasm torture, snowballing, cumplay, and most things. Please ask about it if its not listed!

Limits: Extreme Beatiality(Things like horses/non household animals), vomit, scat, and weird body mods. Like I said, just ask and you can check :) Men and women are welcome! If you're literate and won't disappear on me then I'd love to be owned by you!



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 11:24PM by secret_fake http://ift.tt/1fxDqLa dirtypenpals

Loving this new refrigerator pcmasterrace

http://ift.tt/1GmVpKV

Submitted June 23, 2015 at 11:14PM by FurryFoxes http://ift.tt/1LrY7Wb pcmasterrace

The office refrigerator AdviceAnimals

http://ift.tt/1SGQoES

Submitted June 23, 2015 at 09:51PM by PussyWhistle http://ift.tt/1eFRRwE AdviceAnimals

My 2 year old is unstoppable and destructive... :( beyondthebump

Im a SAHM and my son turned 2 in April (I also have a 9 month old). He doesn't listen when we tell him no. We've tried spanking, time-outs (in the corner, his crib, and just his room), taking away toys.... Nothing seems to have an affect on him.

If I take him outside he let's the chickens out and chases them. He's destroyed our floors by dragging chairs around the house. He bites someone at least once a day. He throws toys occasionally. He opens drawers that he's not supposed to. He now opens the refrigerator.

I'm feel like I'm constantly fighting a battle that I've already lost. Please tell me I'm not alone or that there is an answer.



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 08:22PM by EmilyLouise3 http://ift.tt/1FyM2Gl beyondthebump

If ever time you shut the refrigerator door, it vacuumed out most of the air, would items inside get cold faster or slower or the same? AskReddit

That.



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 08:26PM by LVKAS_AVRELIVS http://ift.tt/1RtpgGV AskReddit

Without a kitchen for a month. Ideas? food

This summer I am visiting my father for a month. He gets all his meals at work, so he never bought anything for his kitchen. He has a fridge and a stove, that's it, no other kitchen supplies or appliances.

I'm trying to think of the best way to handle this. I could buy a microwave or a pot, but I'm wondering if anyone knows a good, budget diet that is possible with only a refrigerator. Anyone ever been in a similar spot?

I'd like to eat healthy, and cheaply, that's about it. I can stomach any diet, even eating the same thing three times a day.



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 06:26PM by meadow_at_dusk http://ift.tt/1JgaPa6 food

Refrigerator making "cricket" noise even when unplugged and only between 3am-9am appliancerepair

Any have an idea of what this might be? Seems oddly specific to not have something obvious wrong with it.



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 06:00PM by TouchToneDialing http://ift.tt/1N4vgoh appliancerepair

Is anyone else freaked out by this whole blocksize debate? Does anyone else find themself often agreeing with *both* sides - depending on whichever argument you happen to be reading at the moment? And do we need some better algorithms and data structures? Bitcoin

Why do both sides of the debate seem “right” to me?

I know, I know, a healthy debate is healthy and all - and maybe I'm just not used to the tumult and jostling which would be inevitable in a real live open major debate about something as vital as Bitcoin.

And I really do agree with the starry-eyed idealists who say Bitcoin is vital. Imperfect as it may be, it certainly does seem to represent the first real chance we've had in the past few hundred years to try to steer our civilization and our planet away from the dead-ends and disasters which our government-issued debt-based currencies keep dragging us into.

But this particular debate, about the blocksize, doesn't seem to be getting resolved at all.

Pretty much every time I read one of the long-form major arguments contributed by Bitcoin "thinkers" who I've come to respect over the past few years, this weird thing happens: I usually end up finding myself nodding my head and agreeing with whatever particular piece I'm reading!

But that should be impossible - because a lot of these people vehemently disagree!

So how can both sides sound so convincing to me, simply depending on whichever piece I currently happen to be reading?

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just a gullible idiot?

Just Do It?

When you first look at it or hear about it, increasing the size seems almost like a no-brainer: The "big-block" supporters say just increase the blocksize to 20 MB or 8 MB, or do some kind of scheduled or calculated regular increment which tries to take into account the capabilities of the infrastructure and the needs of the users. We do have the bandwidth and the memory to at least increase the blocksize now, they say - and we're probably gonna continue to have more bandwidth and memory in order to be able to keep increasing the blocksize for another couple decades - pretty much like everything else computer-based we've seen over the years (some of this stuff is called by names such as "Moore's Law").

On the other hand, whenever the "small-block" supporters warn about the utter catastrophe that a failed hard-fork would mean, I get totally freaked by their possible doomsday scenarios, which seem totally plausible and terrifying - so I end up feeling that the only way I'd want to go with a hard-fork would be if there was some pre-agreed "triggering" mechanism where the fork itself would only actually "switch on" and take effect provided that some "supermajority" of the network (of who? the miners? the full nodes?) had signaled (presumably via some kind of totally reliable p2p trustless software-based voting system?) that they do indeed "pre-agree" to actually adopt the pre-scheduled fork (and thereby avoid any possibility whatsoever of the precious blockchain somehow tragically splitting into two and pretty much killing this cryptocurrency off in its infancy).

So in this "conservative" scenario, I'm talking about wanting at least 95% pre-adoption agreement - not the mere 75% which I recall some proposals call for, which seems like it could easily lead to a 75/25 blockchain split.

But this time, with this long drawn-out blocksize debate, the core devs, and several other important voices who have become prominent opinion shapers over the past few years, can't seem to come to any real agreement on this.

Weird split among the devs

As far as I can see, there's this weird split: Gavin and Mike seem to be the only people among the devs who really want a major blocksize increase - and all the other devs seem to be vehemently against them.

But then on the other hand, the users seem to be overwhelmingly in favor of a major increase.

And there are meta-questions about governance, about about why this didn't come out as a BIP, and what the availability of Bitcoin XT means.

And today or yesterday there was this really cool big-blockian exponential graph based on doubling the blocksize every two years for twenty years, reminding us of the pure mathematical fact that 210 is indeed about 1000 - but not really addressing any of the game-theoretic points raised by the small-blockians. So a lot of the users seem to like it, but when so few devs say anything positive about it, I worry: is this just yet more exponential chart porn?

On the one hand, Gavin's and Mike's blocksize increase proposal initially seemed like a no-brainer to me.

And on the other hand, all the other devs seem to be against them. Which is weird - not what I'd initially expected at all (but maybe I'm just a fool who's seduced by exponential chart porn?).

Look, I don't mean to be rude to any of the core devs, and I don't want to come off like someone wearing a tinfoil hat - but it has to cross people's minds that the powers that be (the Fed and the other central banks and the governments that use their debt-issued money to run this world into a ditch) could very well be much more scared shitless than they're letting on. If we assume that the powers that be are using their usual playbook and tactics, then it could be worth looking at the book "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" by John Perkins, to get an idea of how they might try to attack Bitcoin. So, what I'm saying is, they do have a track record of sending in "experts" to try to derail projects and keep everyone enslaved to the Creature from Jekyll Island. I'm just saying. So, without getting ad hominem - let's just make sure that our ideas can really stand scrutiny on their own - as Nick Szabo says, we need to make sure there is "more computer science, less noise" in this debate.

When Gavin Andresen first came out with the 20 MB thing - I sat back and tried to imagine if I could download 20 MB in 10 minutes (which seems to be one of the basic mathematical and technological constraints here - right?)

I figured, "Yeah, I could download that" - even with my crappy internet connection.

And I guess the telecoms might be nice enough to continue to double our bandwidth every two years for the next couple decades – if we ask them politely?

On the other hand - I think we should be careful about entrusting the financial freedom of the world into the greedy hands of the telecoms companies - given all their shady shenanigans over the past few years in many countries. After decades of the MPAA and the FBI trying to chip away at BitTorrent, lately PirateBay has been hard to access. I would say it's quite likely that certain persons at institutions like JPMorgan and Goldman Sachs and the Fed might be very, very motivated to see Bitcoin fail - so we shouldn't be too sure about scaling plans which depend on the willingness of companies Verizon and AT&T to double our bandwith every two years.

Maybe the real important hardware buildout challenge for a company like 21 (and its allies such as Qualcomm) to take on now would not be "a miner in every toaster" but rather "Google Fiber Download and Upload Speeds in every Country, including China".

I think I've read all the major stuff on the blocksize debate from Gavin Andresen, Mike Hearn, Greg Maxwell, Peter Todd, Adam Back, and Jeff Garzick and several other major contributors - and, oddly enough, all their arguments seem reasonable - heck even Luke-Jr seems reasonable to me on the blocksize debate, and I always thought he was a whackjob overly influenced by superstition and numerology - and now today I'm reading the article by Bram Cohen - the inventor of BitTorrent - and I find myself agreeing with him too!

I say to myself: What's going on with me? How can I possibly agree with all of these guys, if they all have such vehemently opposing viewpoints?

I mean, think back to the glory days of a couple of years ago, when all we were hearing was how this amazing unprecedented grassroots innovation called Bitcoin was going to benefit everyone from all walks of life, all around the world:

  • wealthy individuals trying to preserve and transport their wealth across space and across time

  • iPhone and Android users who want to buy a latte on their smartphone at Starbucks

  • Venezuelans and Argentinians and Cypriots and Russian oligarchs and Greeks and anyone else whose state-backed currency sucks

  • unbanked Africans who will someday be texting around money via SMS messages on their cellphones

  • online content providers who will finally be able to get paid via micropayments

  • smart contracts and stock brokering and lawyering and land deeding and the refrigerator calling out to order more milk and distributed anonymous corporations (DACs) automatically negotiating and adjusting driverless taxicab fares in the Uber-future of the Internet of Things

...basically the entire human race transacting everything into the blockchain.

(Although let me say that I think that people's focus on ideas like driverless cabs creating realtime fare markets based on supply and demand seems to be setting our sights a bit low as far as Bitcoin's abilities to correct the financial world's capital-misallocation problems which seem to have been made possible by infinite debt-based fiat. I would have hoped that a Bitcoin-based economy would solve much more noble, much more urgent capital-allocation problems than driverless taxicabs creating fare markets or refrigerators ordering milk on the internet of things. I was thinking more along the lines that Bitcoin would finally strangle dead-end debt-based deadly-toxic energy industries like fossil fuels and let profitable clean energy industries like Thorium LFTRs take over - but that's another topic. :=)

Paradoxes in the blocksize debate

Let me summarize the major paradoxes I see here:

(1) Regarding the people (the majority of the core devs) who are against a blocksize increase: Well, the small-blocks arguments do seem kinda weird, and certainly not very "populist", in the sense that: When on earth have end-users ever heard of a computer technology whose capacity didn't grow pretty much exponentially year-on-year? All the cool new technology we've had - from hard drives to RAM to bandwidth - started out pathetically tiny and grew to unimaginably huge over the past few decades - and all our software has in turn gotten massively powerful and big and complex (sometimes bloated) to take advantage of the enormous new capacity available.

But now suddenly, for the first time in the history of technology, we seem to have a majority of the devs, on a major p2p project - saying: "Let's not scale the system up. It could be dangerous. It might break the whole system (if the hard-fork fails)."

I don't know, maybe I'm missing something here, maybe someone else could enlighten me, but I don't think I've ever seen this sort of thing happen in the last few decades of the history of technology - devs arguing against scaling up p2p technology to take advantage of expected growth in infrastructure capacity.

(2) But... on the other hand... the dire warnings of the small-blockians about what could happen if a hard-fork were to fail - wow, they do seem really dire! And these guys are pretty much all heavyweight, experienced programmers and/or game theorists and/or p2p open-source project managers.

I must say, that nearly all of the long-form arguments I've read - as well as many, many of the shorter comments I've read from many users in the threads, whose names I at least have come to more-or-less recognize over the past few months and years on reddit and bitcointalk - have been amazingly impressive in their ability to analyze all aspects of the lifecycle and management of open-source software projects, bringing up lots of serious points which I could never have come up with, and which seem to come from long experience with programming and project management - as well as dealing with economics and human nature (eg, greed - the game-theory stuff).

So a lot of really smart and experienced people with major expertise in various areas ranging from programming to management to game theory to politics to economics have been making some serious, mature, compelling arguments.

But, as I've been saying, the only problem to me is: in many of these cases, these arguments are vehemently in opposition to each other! So I find myself agreeing with pretty much all of them, one by one - which means the end result is just a giant contradiction.

I mean, today we have Bram Cohen, the inventor of BitTorrent, arguing (quite cogently and convincingly to me), that it would be dangerous to increase the blocksize. And this seems to be a guy who would know a few things about scaling out a massive global p2p network - since the protocol which he invented, BitTorrent, is now apparently responsible for like a third of the traffic on the internet (and this despite the long-term concerted efforts of major evil players such as the MPAA and the FBI to shut the whole thing down).

Was the BitTorrent analogy too "glib"?

By the way - I would like to go on a slight tangent here and say that one of the main reasons why I felt so "comfortable" jumping on the Bitcoin train back a few years ago, when I first heard about it and got into it, was the whole rough analogy I saw with BitTorrent.

I remembered the perhaps paradoxical fact that when a torrent is more popular (eg, a major movie release that just came out last week), then it actually becomes faster to download. More people want it, so more people have a few pieces of it, so more people are able to get it from each other. A kind of self-correcting economic feedback loop, where more demand directly leads to more supply.

(BitTorrent manages to pull this off by essentially adding a certain structure to the file being shared, so that it's not simply like an append-only list of 1 MB blocks, but rather more like an random-access or indexed array of 1 MB chunks. Say you're downloading a film which is 700 MB. As soon as your "client" program has downloaded a single 1-MB chunk - say chunk #99 - your "client" program instantly turns into a "server" program as well - offering that chunk #99 to other clients. From my simplistic understanding, I believe the Bitcoin protocol does something similar, to provide a p2p architecture. Hence my - perhaps naïve - assumption that Bitcoin already had the right algorithms / architecture / data structure to scale.)

The efficiency of the BitTorrent network seemed to jive with that "network law" (Metcalfe's Law?) about fax machines. This law states that the more fax machines there are, the more valuable the network of fax machines becomes. Or the value of the network grows on the order of the square of the number of nodes.

This is in contrast with other technology like cars, where the more you have, the worse things get. The more cars there are, the more traffic jams you have, so things start going downhill. I guess this is because highway space is limited - after all, we can't pave over the entire countryside, and we never did get those flying cars we were promised, as David Graeber laments in a recent essay in The Baffler magazine :-)

And regarding the "stress test" supposedly happening right now in the middle of this ongoing blocksize debate, I don't know what worries me more: the fact that it apparently is taking only $5,000 to do a simple kind of DoS on the blockchain - or the fact that there are a few rumors swirling around saying that the unknown company doing the stress test shares the same physical mailing address with a "scam" company?

Or maybe we should just be worried that so much of this debate is happening on a handful of forums which are controlled by some guy named theymos who's already engaged in some pretty "contentious" or "controversial" behavior like blowing a million dollars on writing forum software (I guess he never heard that reddit.com software is open-source)?

So I worry that the great promise of "decentralization" might be more fragile than we originally thought.

Scaling

Anyways, back to Metcalfe's Law: with virtual stuff, like torrents and fax machines, the more the merrier. The more people downloading a given movie, the faster it arrives - and the more people own fax machines, the more valuable the overall fax network.

So I kindof (naïvely?) assumed that Bitcoin, being "virtual" and p2p, would somehow scale up the same magical way BitTorrrent did. I just figured that more people using it would somehow automatically make it stronger and faster.

But now a lot of devs have started talking in terms of the old "scarcity" paradigm, talking about blockspace being a "scarce resource" and talking about "fee markets" - which seems kinda scary, and antithetical to much of the earlier rhetoric we heard about Bitcoin (the stuff about supporting our favorite creators with micropayments, and the stuff about Africans using SMS to send around payments).

Look, when some asshole is in line in front of you at the cash register and he's holding up the line so they can run his credit card to buy a bag of Cheeto's, we tend to get pissed off at the guy - clogging up our expensive global electronic payment infrastructure to make a two-dollar purchase. And that's on a fairly efficient centralized system - and presumably after a year or so, VISA and the guy's bank can delete or compress the transaction in their SQL databases.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if some guy buys a coffee on the blockchain, or if somebody pays an online artist $1.99 for their work - then that transaction, a few bytes or so, has to live on the blockchain forever?

Or is there some "pruning" thing that gets rid of it after a while?

And this could lead to another question: Viewed from the perspective of double-entry bookkeeping, is the blockchain "world-wide ledger" more like the "balance sheet" part of accounting, i.e. a snapshot showing current assets and liabilities? Or is it more like the "cash flow" part of accounting, i.e. a journal showing historical revenues and expenses?

When I think of thousands of machines around the globe having to lug around multiple identical copies of a multi-gigabyte file containing some asshole's coffee purchase forever and ever... I feel like I'm ideologically drifting in one direction (where I'd end up also being against really cool stuff like online micropayments and Africans banking via SMS)... so I don't want to go there.

But on the other hand, when really experienced and battle-tested veterans with major experience in the world of open-souce programming and project management (the "small-blockians") warn of the catastrophic consequences of a possible failed hard-fork, I get freaked out and I wonder if Bitcoin really was destined to be a settlement layer for big transactions.

Could the original programmer(s) possibly weigh in?

And I don't mean to appeal to authority - but heck, where the hell is Satoshi Nakamoto in all this? I do understand that he/she/they would want to maintain absolute anonymity - but on the other hand, I assume SN wants Bitcoin to succeed (both for the future of humanity - or at least for all the bitcoins SN allegedly holds :-) - and I understand there is a way that SN can cryptographically sign a message - and I understand that as the original developer of Bitcoin, SN had some very specific opinions about the blocksize... So I'm kinda wondering of Satoshi could weigh in from time to time. Just to help out a bit. I'm not saying "Show us a sign" like a deity or something - but damn it sure would be fascinating and possibly very helpful if Satoshi gave us his/her/their 2 satoshis worth at this really confusing juncture.

Are we using our capacity wisely?

I'm not a programming or game-theory whiz, I'm just a casual user who has tried to keep up with technology over the years.

It just seems weird to me that here we have this massive supercomputer (500 times more powerful than the all the supercomputers in the world combined) doing fairly straightforward "embarassingly parallel" number-crunching operations to secure a p2p world-wide ledger called the blockchain to keep track of a measly 2.1 quadrillion tokens spread out among a few billion addresses - and a couple of years ago you had people like Rick Falkvinge saying the blockchain would someday be supporting multi-million-dollar letters of credit for international trade and you had people like Andreas Antonopoulos saying the blockchain would someday allow billions of "unbanked" people to send remittances around the village or around the world dirt-cheap - and now suddenly in June 2015 we're talking about blockspace as a "scarce resource" and talking about "fee markets" and partially centralized, corporate-sponsored "Level 2" vaporware like Lightning Network and some mysterious company is "stess testing" or "DoS-ing" the system by throwing away a measly $5,000 and suddenly it sounds like the whole system could eventually head right back into PayPal and Western Union territory again, in terms of expensive fees.

When I got into Bitcoin, I really was heavily influenced by vague analogies with BitTorrent: I figured everyone would just have tiny little like utorrent-type program running on their machine (ie, Bitcoin-QT or Armory or Mycelium etc.).

I figured that just like anyone can host a their own blog or webserver, anyone would be able to host their own bank.

Yeah, Google and and Mozilla and Twitter and Facebook and WhatsApp did come along and build stuff on top of TCP/IP, so I did expect a bunch of companies to build layers on top of the Bitcoin protocol as well. But I still figured the basic unit of bitcoin client software powering the overall system would be small and personal and affordable and p2p - like a bittorrent client - or at the most, like a cheap server hosting a blog or email server.

And I figured there would be a way at the software level, at the architecture level, at the algorithmic level, at the data structure level - to let the thing scale - if not infinitely, at least fairly massively and gracefully - the same way the BitTorrent network has.

Of course, I do also understand that with BitTorrent, you're sharing a read-only object (eg, a movie) - whereas with Bitcoin, you're achieving distributed trustless consensus and appending it to a write-only (or append-only) database.

So I do understand that the problem which BitTorrent solves is much simpler than the problem which Bitcoin sets out to solve.

But still, it seems that there's got to be a way to make this thing scale. It's p2p and it's got 500 times more computing power than all the supercomputers in the world combined - and so many brilliant and motivated and inspired people want this thing to succeed! And Bitcoin could be our civilization's last chance to steer away from the oncoming debt-based ditch of disaster we seem to be driving into!

It just seems that Bitcoin has got to be able to scale somehow - and all these smart people working together should be able to come up with a solution which pretty much everyone can agree - in advance - will work.

Right? Right?

A (probably irrelevant) tangent on algorithms and architecture and data structures

I'll finally weigh with my personal perspective - although I might be biased due to my background (which is more on the theoretical side of computer science).

My own modest - or perhaps radical - suggestion would be to ask whether we're really looking at all the best possible algorithms and architectures and data structures out there.

From this perspective, I sometimes worry that the overwhelming majority of the great minds working on the programming and game-theory stuff might come from a rather specific, shall we say "von Neumann" or "procedural" or "imperative" school of programming (ie, C and Python and Java programmers).

It seems strange to me that such a cutting-edge and important computer project would have so little participation from the great minds at the other end of the spectrum of programming paradigms - namely, the "functional" and "declarative" and "algebraic" (and co-algebraic!) worlds.

For example, I was struck in particular by statements I've seen here and there (which seemed rather hubristic or lackadaisical to me - for something as important as Bitcoin), that the specification of Bitcoin and the blockchain doesn't really exist in any form other than the reference implementation(s) (in procedural languages such as C or Python?).

Curry-Howard anyone?

I mean, many computer scientists are aware of the Curry-Howard isomorophism, which basically says that the relationship between a theorem and its proof is equivalent to the relationship between a specification and its implementation. In other words, there is a long tradition in mathematics (and in computer programming) of:

  • separating the compact (and easy-to-check) statement of a theorem from the messy (and hard-to-check) details of its proof(s);

  • separating the specification of a system from its implementation(s); and

  • being able to prove that an implementation does indeed satisfy its specification.

And it's not exactly "turtles all the way down" either: a specification is generally simple and compact enough that a good programmer can usually simply visually inspect it to determine if it is indeed "correct" - something which is very difficult, if not impossible, to do with a program written in a procedural, implementation-oriented language such as C or Python or Java.

So I worry that we've got this tradition, from the open-source github C/Java programming tradition, of never actually writing our "specification", and only writing the "implementation". In mission-critical military-grade programming projects (which often use languages like Ada or Maude) this is simply not allowed. It would seem that a project as mission-critical as Bitcoin - which could literally be crucial for humanity's continued survival - should also use this kind of military-grade software development approach.

And I'm not saying rewrite the implementations in these kind of theoretical languages. But it might be helpful if the C/Python/Java programmers in the Bitcoin imperative programming world could build some bridges to the Maude/Haskell/ML programmers of the functional and algebraic programming worlds to see if any kind of useful cross-pollination might take place - between specifications and implementations.

For example, the JavaFAN formal analyzer for multi-threaded Java programs (developed using tools based on the Maude language) was applied to the Remote Agent AI program aboard NASA's Deep Space 1 shuttle, written in Java - and it took only a few minutes using formal mathematical reasoning to detect a potential deadlock which would have occurred years later during the space mission when the damn spacecraft was already way out around Pluto.

And "the Maude-NRL (Naval Research Laboratory) Protocol Analyzer (Maude-NPA) is a tool used to provide security proofs of cryptographic protocols and to search for protocol flaws and cryptosystem attacks."

These are open-source formal reasoning tools developed by DARPA and used by NASA and the US Navy to ensure that program implementations satisfy their specifications. It would be great if some of the people involved in these kinds of projects could contribute to help ensure the security and scalability of Bitcoin.

But there is a wide abyss between the kinds of programmers who use languages like Maude and the kinds of programmers who use languages like C/Python/Java - and it can be really hard to get the two worlds to meet. There is a bit of rapprochement between these language communities in languages which might be considered as being somewhere in the middle, such as Haskell and ML. I just worry that Bitcoin might be turning into being an exclusively C/Python/Java project (with the algorithms and practitioners traditionally of that community), when it could be more advantageous if it also had some people from the functional and algebraic-specification and program-verification community involved as well. The thing is, though: the theoretical practitioners are big on "semantics" - I've heard them say stuff like "Yes but a C / C++ program has no easily identifiable semantics". So to get them involved, you really have to first be able to talk about what your program does (specification) - before proceeding to describe how it does it (implementation). And writing high-level specifications is typically very hard using the syntax and semantics of languages like C and Java and Python - whereas specs are fairly easy to write in Maude - and not only that, they're executable, and you state and verify properties about them - which provides for the kind of debate Nick Szabo was advocating ("more computer science, less noise").

Imagine if we had an executable algebraic specification of Bitcoin in Maude, where we could formally reason about and verify certain crucial game-theoretical properties - rather than merely hand-waving and arguing and deploying and praying.

And so in the theoretical programming community you've got major research on various logics such as Girard's Linear Logic (which is resource-conscious) and Bruni and Montanari's Tile Logic (which enables "pasting" bigger systems together from smaller ones in space and time), and executable algebraic specification languages such as Meseguer's Maude (which would be perfect for game theory modeling, with its functional modules for specifying the deterministic parts of systems and its system modules for specifiying non-deterministic parts of systems, and its parameterized skeletons for sketching out the typical architectures of mobile systems, and its formal reasoning and verification tools and libraries which have been specifically applied to testing and breaking - and fixing - cryptographic protocols).

And somewhat closer to the practical hands-on world, you've got stuff like Google's MapReduce and lots of Big Data database languages developed by Google as well. And yet here we are with a mempool growing dangerously big for RAM on a single machine, and a 20-GB append-only list as our database - and not much debate on practical results from Google's Big Data databases.

(And by the way: maybe I'm totally ignorant for asking this, but I'll ask anyways: why the hell does the mempool have to stay in RAM? Couldn't it work just as well if it were stored temporarily on the hard drive?)

And you've got CalvinDB out of Yale which apparently provides an ACID layer on top of a massively distributed database.

Look, I'm just an armchair follower cheering on these projects. I can barely manage to write a query in SQL, or read through a C or Python or Java program. But I would argue two points here: (1) these languages may be too low-level and "non-formal" for writing and modeling and formally reasoning about and proving properties of mission-critical specifications - and (2) there seem to be some Big Data tools already deployed by institutions such as Google and Yale which support global petabyte-size databases on commodity boxes with nice properties such as near-real-time and ACID - and I sometimes worry that the "core devs" might be failing to review the literature (and reach out to fellow programmers) out there to see if there might be some formal program-verification and practical Big Data tools out there which could be applied to coming up with rock-solid, 100% consensus proposals to handle an issue such as blocksize scaling, which seems to have become much more intractable than many people might have expected.

I mean, the protocol solved the hard stuff: the elliptical-curve stuff and the Byzantine General stuff. How the heck can we be falling down on the comparatively "easier" stuff - like scaling the blocksize?

It just seems like defeatism to say "Well, the blockchain is already 20-30 GB and it's gonna be 20-30 TB ten years from now - and we need 10 Mbs bandwidth now and 10,000 Mbs bandwidth 20 years from - assuming the evil Verizon and AT&T actually give us that - so let's just become a settlement platform and give up on buying coffee or banking the unbanked or doing micropayments, and let's push all that stuff into some corporate-controlled vaporware without even a whitepaper yet."

So you've got Peter Todd doing some possibly brilliant theorizing and extrapolating on the idea of "treechains" - there is a Let's Talk Bitcoin podcast from about a year ago where he sketches the rough outlines of this idea out in a very inspiring, high-level way - although the specifics have yet to be hammered out. And we've got Blockstream also doing some hopeful hand-waving about the Lightning Network.

Things like Peter Todd's treechains - which may be similar to the spark in some devs' eyes called Lightning Network - are examples of the kind of algorithm or architecture which might manage to harness the massive computing power of miners and nodes in such a way that certain kinds of massive and graceful scaling become possible.

It just seems like a kindof tiny dev community working on this stuff.

Being a C or Python or Java programmer should not be a pre-req to being able to help contribute to the specification (and formal reasoning and program verification) for Bitcoin and the blockchain.

XML and UML are crap modeling and specification languages, and C and Java and Python are even worse (as specification languages - although as implementation languages, they are of course fine).

But there are serious modeling and specification languages out there, and they could be very helpful at times like this - where what we're dealing with is questions of modeling and specification (ie, "needs and requirements").

One just doesn't often see the practical, hands-on world of open-source github implementation-level programmers and the academic, theoretical world of specification-level programmers meeting very often. I wish there were some way to get these two worlds to collaborate on Bitcoin.

Maybe a good first step to reach out to the theoretical people would be to provide a modular executable algebraic specification of the Bitcoin protocol in a recognized, military/NASA-grade specification language such as Maude - because that's something the theoretical community can actually wrap their heads around, whereas it's very hard to get them to pay attention to something written only as a C / Python / Java implementation (without an accompanying specification in a formal language).

They can't check whether the program does what it's supposed to do - if you don't provide a formal mathematical definition of what the program is supposed to do.

Specification : Implementation :: Theorem : Proof

You have to remember: the theoretical community is very aware of the Curry-Howard isomorphism. Just like it would be hard to get a mathematician's attention by merely showing them a proof without telling also telling them what theorem the proof is proving - by the same token, it's hard to get the attention of a theoretical computer scientist by merely showing them an implementation without showing them the specification that it implements.

Bitcoin is currently confronted with a mathematical or "computer science" problem: how to secure the network while getting high enough transactional throughput, while staying within the limited RAM, bandwidth and hard drive space limitations of current and future infrastructure.

The problem only becomes a political and economic problem if we give up on trying to solve it as a mathematical and "theoretical computer science" problem.

There should be a plethora of whitepapers out now proposing algorithmic solutions to these scaling issues. Remember, all we have to do is apply the Byzantine General consensus-reaching procedure to a worldwide database which shuffles 2.1 quadrillion tokens among a few billion addresses. The 21 company has emphatically pointed out that racing to compute a hash to add a block is an "embarrassingly parallel" problem - very easy to decompose among cheap, fault-prone, commodity boxes, and recompose into an overall solution - along the lines of Google's highly successful MapReduce.

I guess what I'm really saying is (and I don't mean to be rude here), is that C and Python and Java programmers might not be the best qualified people to develop and formally prove the correctness of (note I do not say: "test", I say "formally prove the correctness of") these kinds of algorithms.

I really believe in the importance of getting the algorithms and architectures right - look at Google Search itself, it uses some pretty brilliant algorithms and architectures (eg, MapReduce, Paxos) which enable it to achieve amazing performance - on pretty crappy commodity hardware. And look at BitTorrent, which is truly p2p, where more demand leads to more supply.

So, in this vein, I will close this lengthy rant with an oddly specific link - which may or may not be able to make some interesting contributions to finding suitable algorithms, architectures and data structures which might help Bitcoin scale massively. I have no idea if this link could be helpful - but given the near-total lack of people from the Haskell and ML and functional worlds in these Bitcoin specification debates, I thought I'd be remiss if I didn't throw this out - just in case there might be something here which could help us channel the massive computing power of the Bitcoin network in such a way as to enable us simply sidestep this kind of desperate debate where both sides seem right because the other side seems wrong.

http://ift.tt/1HaiqED

The above paper is about "higher dimensional trees". It uses a bit of category theory (not a whole lot) and a bit of Haskell (again not a lot - just a simple data structure called a Rose tree, which has a wikipedia page) to develop a very expressive and efficient data structure which generalizes from lists to trees to higher dimensions.

I have no idea if this kind of data structure could be applicable to the current scaling mess we apparently are getting bogged down in - I don't have the game-theory skills to figure it out.

I just thought that since the blockchain is like a list, and since there are some tree-like structures which have been grafted on for efficiency (eg Merkle trees) and since many of the futuristic scaling proposals seem to also involve generalizing from list-like structures (eg, the blockchain) to tree-like structures (eg, side-chains and tree-chains)... well, who knows, there might be some nugget of algorithmic or architectural or data-structure inspiration there.

So... TL;DR:

(1) I'm freaked out that this blocksize debate has splintered the community so badly and dragged on so long, with no resolution in sight, and both sides seeming so right (because the other side seems so wrong).

(2) I think Bitcoin could gain immensely by using high-level formal, algebraic and co-algebraic program specification and verification languages (such as Maude including Maude-NPA, Mobile Maude parameterized skeletons, etc.) to specify (and possibly also, to some degree, verify) what Bitcoin does - before translating to low-level implementation languages such as C and Python and Java saying how Bitcoin does it. This would help to communicate and reason about programs with much more mathematical certitude - and possibly obviate the need for many political and economic tradeoffs which currently seem dismally inevitable - and possibly widen the collaboration on this project.

(3) I wonder if there are some Big Data approaches out there (eg, along the lines of Google's MapReduce and BigTable, or Yale's CalvinDB), which could be implemented to allow Bitcoin to scale massively and painlessly - and to satisfy all stakeholders, ranging from millionaires to micropayments, coffee drinkers to the great "unbanked".



Submitted June 23, 2015 at 12:35PM by BeYourOwnBank http://ift.tt/1HahS1A Bitcoin