My second trip was at a friends house. Which is also the same place I had my first psychedelic experience in general (an eighth of mushrooms). Who is basically a shaman with a place set up for trips. Sub woofer the size of a refrigerator and a projector that puts a 200inch hd image on the wall. Its like six flags for tripping and I always have a good time. I just wish I could control the playlist beyond one song here or there lol. This time I pop 4 tabs. I find out 30mins in he’s only taken one and encourage him to do 3 more so I’m not stuck floating in the ether by myself. He pops 3 more and shit starts to get weird for me so I run down stairs and sit in the darkness just vibing out. The thought I decide to take with me this time is… just ride the wave. Let go. Enjoy the experience. Don’t look for any enlightenment or deities in particular.
Which was probably a lot easier to do being alone in the dark by myself. The music is quite literally all around me and euphoric. During this trip I move between the couch, the floor, dancing like an awkward manic, and mediative / martial arts poses, positions, and moves. On the topic of spirits being uh flirty… does anybody else have a problem with these male energies / spirits trying to pull a fast one? Maybe it just makes me feel weird / plays on an insecurity I have because I feel like I’m a guy and it shouldn’t happen but it makes me really uncomfortable and I get the sense that they aren’t good. Which in a way explains what’s going on. I get the sense that their deviants or low level dark spirits basically raping me. I’ve admittedly submitted / succumbed to the energy on a couple of occasions. An I always feel like bubba came at me in the shower afterwards. Other times its my own sexual energy just running an absolute muck. When you focus on the emotion of lust under the influence of psychedelics. I feel like its whatever gets to you first depending upon your mindset, mood (emotions) and whatever your channeling at the time basically amounts to your date for the night. Anyway this uncomfortable energy which seems male propositions me at some point during the beginning of this trip (more like I’m just going to go for it rather you like it or not) and I’m just sort of like really asshole? Well lets fucking get to it then. I’m welcoming anything and everything on this trip out of genuine curiosity in an attempt to understand the nature of the substance and myself. I muster up the strength / courage and decide I've had enough of this over eager asshole. I fight / overpower its energy with my own. Push it off. Sit up on the couch and decide to focus on my root chakra for a bit and see what I can get.
I can now identify the lust as my own or permeating from within me… and it becomes so strong. That I morph into a sort of ancient aztec hermaphrodite and spread my legs like a beckoning woman would but to grab a penis… My tongue is also hanging out of my mouth in a really perverted way but I can’t help it. The emotion of lust? Indulgence? Perversion? Feels sort of what I imagine heroin is like. I ask myself. What would happen if you decide to embrace your “lowest energy” and your demons instead of running from them. I think to myself. Don’t try and control the trip. Remember to ride the wave. My demons / dark side are a part of me and a piece of the overall puzzle. Good / bad is a perception. I let loose and fucking go crazy indulging in complete savagery through my root. Lust, Hate, Gluttony, just about every animalistic emotion I can think of seems to hit me all at once. So here I am wallowing around in what seems to be “bad mojo” dancing with my demons so to speak (I get the sense were celebrating like its a ritual of sorts dancing around a fire laughing having a good time with evil spirits? Who’d have thunk) and its fucking ridiculous how sadistic but alive, and full of energy I feel. I’m thinking to myself holy fuck I’m a dark son of bitch but goddamn this feels good. All types of semi evil cheshire cat like faces start to appear on the walls and in my head in a red I’ve never seen before made of pure light. I also get the feeling that I can’t stop. Like I’ve become a burning sun and I’ll swallow up everything in the universe if I could. Just to continue on being this self indulgent all powerful gluttonus being. I believe this illustrates our destructive power and the dangers of addiction in any form if you decide to let it take over your life complete. Everything in moderation. I feel like I’m going to quite literally explode basking in this enormous amount of Dark? Energy I’ve built up. Dark I think to myself? Says who? More like part of the human experience and that’s when something clicks for me.
I’m catapulted from my root and out through the top of my head. I’m now looking down on my physical body and me the real me. The good and the bad. Light and the dark. Ying and Yang. With no human like pull or reaction towards one side or the other. Ego death? Just a neutrality and understanding that they are both necessary within myself and the universe (grand scheme of things). Wait a minute. I’ve come in contact with this seemingly pompous attitude / stance before (my ancient brother during my first trip) but it doesn’t feel that way at all (pompous) because that’s the way a human would see it? Holy shit! Am I becoming / thinking like a god? You bet your ass I am! Cue god hood. Nirvana. Bliss. Peace. Oneness. I’ve never felt that powerful, comfortable, loving, all encompassing, and understanding before in my natural life. Trying to describe what it felt like and the experience itself. Is like trying to explain color to a blind man. Impossible. So I’ll just tell you what I looked like and what I was doing. My body was completely see through and made up of stars, cosmos, and oddly enough some really technology looking grid / computer code. I was sitting in a meditative position legs folded like a Buddha. Spinning round and round in one place without moving my body like food would in a microwave. Except extremely fast. My crown chakra is blown completely open as well and is sitting atop my head. Spinning as well in the most beautiful vibrant lotus flower I have ever seen and although mainly purple and pink. It encompasses all colors and is mostly see through like the rest of me. While all this is going on (the spinning). Picture an atom. It could be anything with something in its center but for whatever reason to this day. I feel like the fact I so strongly associated myself with being at the center of an atom is a metaphor for how connected and simple everything really is in its endless complexity… so usually at the center of an atom is a circle and there are rings but instead its me and there are only two rings and they seem like a big deal. Like some sort of sacred grand design. I had nothing to do with. Like even tho I’m a god something bigger / more important than me made them (the universe). There a bit see through as well but a bit more solid and have some sort of strange ancient writings / computer code written on them. and there doing that sort of cool spinning that rings do in movies that are part of some huge nuclear core / reactor or something. A bit slower than me but still pretty fast and I’m just creating space / existence with my bare hands… but on an extremely grandiose level. Whole universes, planets, galaxies, stars, and existence itself are coming out of my hands. Its almost like I’m dancing. Ah so I’m a creator I think to myself. I see. I feel so at home. Like this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and then Dejavu. It becomes clear to me that this is one of my past lives in which I was a god of creation. Living / existing in what I estimate to be the 7D (7th dimension). Just sitting there for eons (however long that is) doing my thing… but I became tired? What? Is that even possible? A god getting tired and then it clicks. Who said god’s were above or separate from the universal oneness (source) or all that is? Another light bulb moment. Ah so this is where the traits present in human religion come from relating to jealous, wrathful gods, etc… possessing seemingly human emotions. Gods have the same experiences we do just in a different way because they come from the same thing. The origin or source and I learn that yes. I did grow tired… so tired that I reconnected with the source. Through the wheel of reincarnation and spit myself out on the other side as a human being. Apparently we all aren’t born of this world. Or should I say born here first and someone of us are just here for a vacation, a lesson, or on a mission to elevate human conciseness as a whole to the next level.
It should be mentioned that my friend who also dropped 4 tabs attempted to murder his roommate but there are literally no legit sharp knives in the apt. Apparently he connected to the source albeit in a different way and he had an endless amount of wires coming out of his back (like billions) and could touch any one wire and jump to and or know anything about any one person in existence ever. He went into a mans body who in short was on the couch with his wife and then boom people walk in and shoot him in the face. He experience all of this. The trauma, the dying, being shot, and being stuck in the body for a bit afterwards while paramedic / police are playing with or trying to piece back together the face. He could feel this weird sensation. His roommate is coming in from work at the same time he’s having this experience and I guess it triggered his fight or flight. Lucky no serious injuries were to be had and when a friend approached them tussling in the bathroom he dropped the knife almost immediately like a kid you catch coloring on the wall just embarrassed according to her story like he knew he fucked up. I thought it was weird considered his experience with psychedelics but you never know when your opening portals through use of drugs. I’m also wondering if this had something to do with me and my indulgence in my dark side in the basement.
I also decided I won’t be tripping around him or anyone else for that matter without a sober family member or two around me and whoever else is tripping just in case shit goes south. Its way better to knock people the fuck out (someone who’s uncontrollable) so everyone can live to laugh and fight another day. These substances are nothing to play with and must be approached with respect that much is clear.
Any questions just ask. Godspeed my fellow psychonauts and happy tripping.
Link to 1st trip story here: http://ift.tt/1Cu2QhB
Submitted April 11, 2015 at 11:22AM by winnnnnnnnn http://ift.tt/1yjVVve Psychonaut
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