Sunday, April 26, 2015

My (21F) brother (37M) is ruining everything my parents have worked for. What can we do? relationships

Background – I’m so sorry if this is somewhat all over the place, I’m just so enraged that it may not be organized as well as it could be.

My (21f) brother Buster (37m) split with his wife a couple of years ago. When that happened, my parents (50sf, 60sm) allowed him to move into our old house (that my parents still own) that we were no longer occupying, on the conditions that a) he pay monthly rent and utilities, and b) he helps us fix the house up so we could get it on the market and sold, c) he was to be the only person living there. They did not however, write up a contract or anything of that sort.

Since Buster has moved into that house, he has paid rent maaaybe 3 times. And that’s really pushing it. My dad works his ass off to pay the PUD bills. Buster has absolutely trashed the house. The yard looks like shit, there are broken refrigerators and trash everywhere. The inside looks even worse apparently, according to the police officer my dad and I talked to today. He has had various females living with him, and they always end up in domestic disputes that cause the police to be called. My parents and I usually only find this out because the neighbors tell us.

Currently, Buster is dating (and she is living in the house with my brother) the 19 year old daughter (Katy) of the biggest heroin user/dealer in the town. Buster receives roughly $2-3k a month from L&I due to an injury he sustained in his previous job. Buster asks my sister and I fairly often if he can borrow money from us. Since he is not paying rent or any of his utilities, this leads me to believe that he is into drugs.

My parents have told him multiple times that he needs to help fix up the house, pay rent, etc. to no avail. Dealing with him and the house kind of fell on the wayside last summer when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and when that happened he absolutely did not give a shit. The only time he would contact my mother was when he needed money or something, EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS DEALING WITH CANCER. HE WOULDN’T EVEN ASK HER HOW SHE WAS DOING.

Anyway. Fast forward to today. My dad received a text message from one of our neighbors saying the cops had the house surrounded. My dad and I went down there, only to find out from one of the police officers that Buster and Katy had had yet another domestic dispute, my niece who is living with Buster called the cops, and that Katy had run off before the police got there. Then she came back while the police were there, and Buster and Katy got into ANOTHER argument. The officer we spoke to told us that they were there on the regular, and that they keep an eye on his house constantly.

My parents and I are beyond fed up, but I’m not sure if my parents really know what to do. It’s hard for my mother since it’s her son and she’s probably one of the least confrontational people I know, and he’s fairly unstable mentally. He’s attempted suicide in the past, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he did again.

Personally, I am all for evicting him. I don’t believe he should be given another chance, and I have voiced this to my parents multiple times. I have no idea how to go about evicting him, and neither do my parents. So I suppose, my questions are:

  1. What would be the best course of action for evicting him?

  2. What should I say to my parents to convince them that they absolutely must evict Buster? I’m sure that they know that is ultimately what they need to do, but I know they haven’t decided to.

TL;DR; Brother is not paying rent, trashing house, and doing god knows what else. Cops are there on the regular for domestic violence. What do?



Submitted April 27, 2015 at 04:09AM by zombiemouse http://ift.tt/1Gxw6dY relationships

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