Monday, May 4, 2015

I [21 M] hurt my fiancee [29 F] because of something I thought was harmless. I feel terrible and want to fix it and start our life together. relationships

I met my fiancee when I was about to start college, and 23 months ago started a serious relationship with her. We have been very happy for the majority of our relationship. I am about to graduate, and we are getting married in about 2 months.

After 2 years of being 7 hours apart, and constant traveling and being away from each other, we are finally about to be together and live together in 2 weeks. We are so close to what we have always wanted, and separating after a long weekend or a couple of weeks vacation from school sucks.

This weekend, we were at a friend's house for a small get together for some drinks. She came to visit me for the weekend and we were having a wonderful weekend. A friend at the party who doesn't drink decided he would play beer pong with some water cups, so I went into the kitchen and brought him a pitcher of water. I then took that pitcher back and filled it up again. When I went to take a beer out of the refrigerator I noticed that the beer I had stocked it with was running low, so I started filling it up again. After I filled up the fridge, I walked down the hall toward the back room and there was a girl at the party walking in front of me. I got the impulse to hug her even though I barely knew her, and while I was hugging her my fiancee walked into the hallway and saw me. It was a short hug from behind, with no intentions of anything past that, mainly because this was a girl who was normally shy and decided to take on a leadership role for an organization that I have been President of for the past year, and I was happy that she chose to join the club. I have no idea why I got the impulse to hug her though and why I didn't just ignore it. Either way, I knew I wasn't trying to do anything wrong, so when my fiancee saw me I didn't think anything was wrong.

When we went back to the room, she was really serious and that's when I knew something was wrong. She was really upset, and I knew it had to be because she thought something was going on between me and that girl who I had never hung out with before. My fiancee was livid, and that turned into the worst night of my life. Eventually we went from her wanting to leave and never see me again and cancelling all our plans, to me trying to explain and showing her all my messages. By the morning, she said she would give me a chance to make it better, but that she doesn't know if she could ever trust me again. She is convinced that I hugged this girl because I wanted to get with her, and she now wonders that if this is how I act when she is under my same roof, how do I act when I am alone at school.

I would never cheat on my fiancee, and I would never want to hurt her, but that night I realized that as much as I thought I was doing everything right, I haven't been giving her the value she deserves. I want to make everything better, but she left yesterday and says she isn't coming up for my graduation 2 weeks from now. She says she can't get that image out of her head, and until she does she can't forgive me.

I have had the worst 36 hours of my life knowing that the person I love more than anyone in the world is hurt because of me, and that the person who saw me in a better light than even my own parents had her image of me tainted because of something I did.

I know I had no intention of cheating on her, and I know I had no intention of hurting her, but because of a split second decision, I did, and that has been eating away at me. I am planning on trying to complete all my finals this week so I can go back home on Saturday and be with her as soon as possible. The only reason I was looking forward to walking my graduation was her, as none of my friends are even in the same graduation ceremony as I am, and I think it's more of a burden to my parents than anything.

I want to make things right, and help our relationship come back to what it was 2 days ago, but I don't know how. I have been calling her through skype since my phone broke during the argument, and she has been answering me, but I can't even tell if talking to her is helping or hurting. I just know I have to be with her as soon as possible, but have no idea how to get her to see me how she did before this weekend again.

tl;dr: Fiancee is hurt because she saw me hug a girl at a party, and is convinced it was more than a hug. I had no intention of cheating on her, and never have. We are still together but it is a pretty hostile environment right now, and I don't know what to do to go back to what we had.



Submitted May 04, 2015 at 07:16PM by DaPricklyComedian http://ift.tt/1E9E3iw relationships

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