Not my father, or stepfather, but my mother's on-and-off boyfriend for about 10 years. I'm nearly 16 now, and he had a huge impact on me whilst growing up.
-He was emotionally manipulative, and we all wound up in therapy because of him
-He would give pointless ultimatums (for instance, on my fourth or fifth birthday he said "finish your food or you don't get any ice cream" he ate my ice cream right in front of me, and I didn't get any on my birthday. Another birthday, we went to a diner I liked, and I ordered macaroni and cheese. I love macaroni and cheese, so I ate a lot of it. He told me to stop eating the macaroni and cheese and finish the rest of my food or no dessert. He slid the plate away from me and I wanted to cry. He had me on the brink of tears alot. He was a complete jerk for no reason.
-One night I was sitting on his lap, and he asked me if I was "pro-ana" because I was skinny for my age. Another time, he pinched the fat on my stomach and told me I was "getting a gut, huh?" Damaging.
-He spoke rudely about my mother: He insisted she had no real friends and wasn't as competent as him. Constantly put her down and never let her speak.
-He was manipulative: Made a dramatic scene about "leaving us" whilst the family was eating dinner and forced me and my sister to watch before our mother told us to leave the room. (We had to leave the room so they could argue very often.)
-Argued with our mother on a daily basis and had a nasty, hurtful, argument in the middle of the living room the night before their wedding. My sister and I could hear everything he was saying because we were crying in a room right next to them. He was saying he didn't really love our mother and that he was only with her to be our "father figure". Yeah, a toxic one. Just downright smearing my mother. They ended up not getting married but stayed together a long time afterwards. Thank God my sister could drive; we left the house a lot. One night we came back to my mother sniffling and sweeping the floor because they'd just argued about the house not being clean. I rarely saw him lift a finger to clean up. I wanted to hurt him.
-Forced his religion on us: I can count off far too many times I spent my friday nights and Saturdays listening to him read the bible when I should've been enjoying my time out of school. It was inconveniencing. We participated in Passover, which is around the same time as Easter. I was a kid, so my school and daycare were giving out a lot of candy I couldn't eat because of its cornstarch or other ingredients.I didn't understand the meaning behind Passover and didn't care for being Hebrew anyway. It made no sense to me anyway. Long story short, I was punished for sneaking and eating a piece of chocolate. All of my candy was taken from me.
-Childish: Ignored my sister for over a year over some silly incident. It took a large toll on her and I know it left emotional scars. He would not speak to her, look at her, or even address her correctly. My mom let him, and I was in the middle of all of it.
-He would have strange men we didn't know in the house often (he was a freemason), and we were forced to interact with them. They left candies on our beds and treats in the refrigerator. It was a sweet, but creepy gesture on their behalfs. The men were some sort of "recruit" into his lodge, and had to go through some kind of initiation process. I was a young girl and going through an awkward stage of development. Sometimes it was annoying coming home and there's a bunch of grown men in your house and you couldn't be yourself. You'd wake up from a nap and there were grown men in your house. The house always smelled like cologne. It was annoying.
-Furniture: He took all of my mother's furniture out of the house and replaced it with his without consent. Another time he jammed all of his furniture into the house and made the living room unusable. The living room looked like an extreme hoarders house. That was a blinking red flag. The first week of school, I came home to a house with little to no furniture and I was embarrassed. He'd removed nearly everything that was "his", but some of it wasn't his. He took my mother's bed, and one of our tables. The couch. It really devastated me and my sister. I know my mother was hurt but she had to hide it. She slept on a cot for a long time before she could get another bed. At that time I felt helpless and tried to cut down on utilities to help her. I thought she couldn't afford to refurnish the house and that we were "poor". I never had friends over during these time periods because the house was embarrassing to me.
To this day, men and boys make me uncomfortable and I'm scared to be around them. I don't like being touched by boys I'm attracted to and I only trust females and feel like all males have bad intent. It just pisses me off because he lied to my mother constantly and she knew about it. He literally fucking IGNORED my sister for an entire year and my mom has never apologized for allowing him to do what he did to this family.
There was much more of it, but those are the things I can list off the top of my head. I'm thankful for this subreddit because it's really given me a chance to vent and see some other stories. Sorry for the bad grammar, I'm a kid.
Submitted June 06, 2017 at 03:23PM by noexqses http://ift.tt/2s6kOwr offmychest
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