I'll start off by saying that the first 2 years of our relationship were wonderful. We never fought and we enjoyed every moment we spent together. It took only 6 months to pop the question and 5 months later we moved to a different city (where we both grew up), where she got a better position for her job.
About a year ago, I started questioning whether or not I wanted this to continue. The reason was because we had to cancel our wedding due to money issues. I really wanted to get married, I did, but I'm just not always so good with money. I also wanted to start a family ASAP, because I love kids and have always wanted one, but she said only after we were married. Fine. We decided to go ahead and try again a year later.
Well during that year, I just felt more and more hopeless with her. She eventually told me that I/we needed to get help because I always seemed angry and emotionally detached because of work or whatever else. I refused and said that it wasn't me and that it was other issues with our relationship. One of the main problems, is that she started being on her a phone all the time; whether it was texting friends or being on Facebook, she would not get off her phone.
Well, we ended up buying a house together in January (I was not on the title unfortunately), despite some of the concerns we both had. Her being on her phone all the time got so bad that at one point I threatened to take it from her and throw it out the door. Well, she didn't like this too well and said if I did that I can just move my stuff out right now. Thanks to that remark, it made my choice easier and in March, I told her that I needed some space and I needed to move out. I added that I didn't want to break up when this happened, I just thought the both of us needed some space to figure things out if we were going to continue to be together.
So come July 1st, I moved out. I spent weekend out of town with my family and came back early Sunday, instead of Monday because I had a bad mental breakdown. I called her and asked if I could see her, but she said that she was out with a friend and it would have to wait until later that night. Well, I went and talked to her and explained everything and how I'd like to move back in and try to find someone else to take over my lease with my apartment. She was not too thrilled with this and amidst a lot of tears from the both of us, she said she needed space and time to figure out who she was and to miss me. I didn't like that too much...
So throughout the month of July, we were still talking, hanging out, sleeping together, etc., all the while I was trying to push her into getting back into a relationship ASAP. She still was not too happy about it and told me on multiple occasions that she could not be in a relationship with me at this time. Obviously I found it bizarre because she said many times that I was the one and we had made plans to get married August 13th and pretty much immediately start trying to have kids.
So come August, it's her birthday 2 days before we were supposed to get married. I didn't tell her happy birthday at all and I said I'd do it to her face and only then. The next night we go out and have dinner and I drop her back off at home and she doesn't even invite me in. That's fine, I get it, it's hard for her. The next day I go over and talk to her and she's all tears. She's crying about this was supposed to be her day and I took it from her when I left. I tried to explain myself, but she wouldn't listen.
Over the course of the next week, she started getting more distant with me. Finally on Thursday, we talk, we sleep together again, and we have dinner. Come Friday and Saturday, she's completely silent and I'm trying to talk to her and see what's going on, but she won't say anything. So on Saturday I go out with my friend and I get drunk and I keep texting her. She wasn't happy with this and called me and yelled at me. I asked her what her deal was because she had never been this mad before and I asked her who she was with. She was adamant that she was with her sister and I excepted this, but I continued to send her negative texts because I was upset.
I got done at the bar with my friend and decided to drive over there and see what was going on because I was suspicious. Lo and behold, there was another car in her driveway. I go up to her door and knock and she comes outside and we talk. I wasn't verbally abusive at all and was very calm, considering I was pretty drunk. Well, she told me it was her friend Aaron and he was there because of what I was saying to her on the phone. I called BS on that, especially since his dog was over there too! She said he was sleeping on the couch and I called out to him through the window to come outside, but he didn't. I was mad, but I left.
We didn't really talk for the next week and I kept trying to get information out of her about this guy, but she was reluctant, so I started digging. She's evidently been Facebook friends with him since JUNE and he's been liking every one of her posts since. I brought this up to her and she shrugged it off. Well I again became suspicious one night because she was being TOO quiet over texts and I decided to go over there again and again, he was over there.
It's come to the point now where I've tried to ask her what this is, yet she keeps saying it's none of my business. I know what it is. She's keeping it a secret from everyone as well. She will not post anything on Facebook with him, yet that is extremely unlike her considering she was posting stuff with us a week after we met. She also told me she started talking to him in JULY.
Yesterday I tried to get more information out of her and she just yelled at me and said to leave her alone. She doesn't want to see me, doesn't want to talk to me, nothing. That the ball was out of my court and to leave her alone. She said that when she wants to talk to me, that it will be my choice to respond. I can only see that this is a major rebound for her, or someone she's just sleeping with for the time being.
I know I shouldn't want her, but it's hard. I love this woman with my entire being. I want to give her space, but I don't want her to continue with this self-destructing behavior. I especially don't want her to get pregnant because then she's on her own.
What does this seem like and is there a possibility that when she's had her fill, she'll come back? I'm still not sure. She won't block me on any social media or my phone number, plus she still has 100s of photos of us everywhere on Facebook that she won't even hide and she even has photos of us by her bed, refrigerator, and her living room
TL;DR: Broke up with fiance of 3 years, wanted to mend relationship, but she refused. Is now with a guy that I don't know anything about and don't know what their status is. Is NC going to help this and is there a chance she'll want to talk again soon?
I'd also like to say I have started to improve myself over this time. I've lost 50 lbs since April and going to the gym. She thought at one point I was cheating on her because I was going 5-6 days a week. I wasn't though, but I still found it funny she thought it.
Submitted September 03, 2016 at 02:36AM by Tnerps http://ift.tt/2bRcGUm relationships
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