This is actually my wife's fuck up that happened less than an hour ago.
Let me start by saying Chia seeds are one of the "foods" I despise most in this cruel world.
Earlier today we were looking through our fridge trying to find something to cook for dinner. While rummaging through the side drawers, She noticed a Kombucha (with Chia seeds) that her mom had brought her when she visited us months ago. She has pulled it out the last few weeks, telling me she doesn't want this specific drink, and asked if I would drink it. Apparently my wife likes chia seed drinks, and also Kombucha drinks,but not Kombucha with Chia seeds?!?... Well I fucking hate Chia seeds. Why would I want a drink where you have to chew these little shitty seeds while you are trying to swallow a liquid? It's the worst idea ever.
Anyway, she pulled out the drink and looked at the experation date (06/06/16) and we could both obviously tell it has been expired for over 3 months. I told her to throw it away, that anything fermented in a glass bottle under that kind of pressure would explode. She laughed and set it on our counter... Not before putting the bottle to my ear to let me here a serious hissing sound. Again I told her to throw it away. Thinking she would get rid of it, I grabbed a beer and went into the living room. She came in after a bit to watch tv with me and we were relaxing when I thought I heard a gun shot. I bolted off the couch to see a volcano of Kombucha pouring out of the bottle on my counter, And FUCKING STRAWBERRY CHIA SEEDS all over our ceiling, table, floor, microwave, oven, INSIDE AND OUT of our cupboards, refrigerator, behind decorations, and basically everywhere that is not the moon.
After spending the last (?) minutes cleaning the demon seeds up, I am finally able to have another beer on my couch.
Maybe I should rename this: TIFU by not ordering my wife to keep fermented Chia seeds out of my fucking house.
Submitted September 29, 2016 at 08:49AM by HerrHamil http://ift.tt/2dBbDd4 tifu
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