and the demons are having to process the dead one by one, to confirm that they've been damned. One day, a managerial demon found three stories that required confirmation.
Story 1: I suspected that my wife was cheating on me, so when I told her I left for work, I hid in our bedroom closet with the heftiest hammer I could find. A few hours later, I heard a man enter my bedroom, so I jumped out of the closet, hammer poised to strike. When I was out, the man was gone. I looked all over the apartment for him, and eventually I found him on the balcony, hanging by his fingertips. I smash his fingertips with my hammer, but the bastard won't fall, so in a rush of adrenaline, I grab the refrigerator and toss it on top of him, dying shortly thereafter due to the strain.
The demon checks and confirms the death, and moves on to the next.
Story 2: So I'm running a con on this chick, acting like I'm her "cable guy," getting ready to steal her identity. I walk in her bedroom to check for documents, when this maniac jumps out of the closet with a hammer! So I run out and hide on his balcony, hanging by my fingers. I think I'm in the clear, when suddenly my fingers are being smashed. I manage to hold on, but only barely, until I feel a refrigerator crush me.
And so the story was processed and confirmed, and he moved on to the third.
Story 3: So I was hiding in a refrigerator...
Submitted September 29, 2016 at 12:48AM by CosmicQuasar http://ift.tt/2dlzVGC Jokes
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