Sunday, November 27, 2016

The EU ruined Star Wars. CharacterRant

Ok, so the title is hyperbolic, kind of. Really the EU just ruined Jedi and the force and things related to them. How many people actually clearly remember when Episode 1 came out? I do. I remember all the endless bitching about midichlorians and how they ruined muh space magic by attempting to quantify what was supposed to be this mystic thing.

But you know what? That shit has been happening for as long as books about Star Wars have been written, and games about Star Wars have been in development. The EU is obsessed with quantifying EVERYTHING about the franchise. Lightsabers are a rare, exotic weapon because guns are better than swords. Why would your average infantry use an extremely dangerous laser sword when you can pick up a more versatile, more efficient weapon that also doesn't require years of practice to become proficient with? You know, the same list of reasons we switched to guns in real life?

I mean it seems obvious, right? Sure lightsabers can redirect blaster bolts, but people in real life have trouble hitting a 90mph baseball pitch reliably when it's thrown directly in front of them. No amount of training is going to make that shit reliable against plasma weapons unless, you know, you're some kind of precognitive space wizard. But no, Lightsabers also produce some kind of bullshit gyroscopic force because cycling plasma or some nonsense. That's the REAL reason no one uses them. Gotta make it explicit so people understand.

The Emperor was intimidating because he was a crazy space warlock who could shoot goddamn lightning out of his hands. That stops being impressive when you find out that 'force lightning' is some mid tier crap ability that every Sith gets when they hit fifth level. You know what's awesome? An order of dudes that are so in tune with the natural energy that pervades the universe that they gain superhuman abilities and telekinesis. They get stronger through training, becoming more in tune with the natural energies of the universe, and their creativity in how they use these skills.

What isn't awesome is a bunch of guys who know force push, force pull, force choke, force shield, force devastation, force open the refrigerator, and force jerking off. Aren't those all essentially the same thing anyway? Nope, every single little thing needs a name and a stat sheet. Watching Return of the Jedi for the first time, lightning just seemed like a thing that the Emperor could do. It certainly wasn't the most efficient way to kill Luke, because he wasn't trying to. Who knows what else he could have done? I mean, we never will now, because Force Lightning is just the thing that evil Jedi do. It's what basically all of them do.

And that's sad.



Submitted November 28, 2016 at 11:08AM by Orphanim http://ift.tt/2gmqZ6v CharacterRant

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