So last night, I was bringing a lady back to my apartment. We get back to my place and of course, we need some drinks. I go to open my freezer, because in college, you need to freeze all of your liquor. As I'm walking over to the kitchen, I notice a hint of cheddar smell. Ok, I'm thinking, maybe one of my roommates made a cheese sandwich or something, I don't know. As I open the freezer door, I'm hit with the most vile smell of rotten cheese mixed with fresh vomit. Unfortunately, the girl I brought back was not nose blind, and she got a whiff of the good stuff. She did not take it well and although she didn't leave right away, you could tell that any chances of me getting lucky last night had ended. We ended up not having any drinks and she left as soon as she could find a flimsy excuse for an excuse to get the hell out of here. I can't blame her, it was vile. So, not wanting to deal with any of that bullshit last night, I just ended up going to bed and decided I would try to figure out what the hell happened in the morning, this morning. Well, when I went to check the freezer for the source, I couldn't find anything that could possibly smell so bad. I ended up cleaning up the freezer before proceeding to check the refrigerator. I open up the door, and our good friend, Mr. Putrid Scent is back, and he is angry. I decide to clean out the refrigerator when I notice a puddle of yellow fluid on the bottom shelf, covering most of my leftover food and milk. I start checking each item and their expiration dates, maybe it's the unopened milk jug the looks like it's about to burst at the seams, maybe it's the grapes and cheese container that expired in July, but nope. I come across two containers of greek yogurt in the back that just happened to be slightly expired, as in five months past expiration. Turns out, my roommate, who had been living in the apartment all of last year and the summer, wanted to try some of the finer foods in life, but never actually did. Now, I am not sure if he ever did end up opening the containers, but when yogurt gets moldy enough, the bacteria and yeast release some gases which build up and create pressure in the container. At some point during the night, Mr. Yogurt decided he had had enough and decided to release his gastrointestinal fluids and exploded all over the refrigerator. Fortunately, the yogurt was on the top shelf so after the explosion, all of the goo could drip down onto all of the food. I threw away every item in the fridge including the mostly full bottle of Jägermeister (RIP) to get rid of any residual yogurt diarrhea and ended up spending nearly an hour wiping down every surface in the fridge. If you move in with someone new who you have not met before, check their fridge and see if they have any expired items before you try bringing a girl back to your place.
TL;DR Check the fridge
Submitted September 12, 2016 at 02:42AM by ballaholic1 http://ift.tt/2c3YY55 tifu
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