Heavenly confusion Jokes

One beautiful sunny day in Heaven, St Peter the gatekeeper, the bouncer of heaven; is mildly surprised to see 3 men pop up before him at the very same time.

St Peter pulls out his notebook that contains all the names of of people allowed in, and says:

"OK, since you cant bring earthly ID's with you, I need you to tell me how you died so I can find you in here and verify who you are before letting you through."

First man: "Well, I have been suspecting that my wife is having an affair for a while now, and today I took a day off work, pretended to leave for work, and then came back home an hour later to try and catch her in act.

We live in an apartment on 15th floor, so I was running up stairs, I bust open the door, rush into the bedroom, and I see my wife naked in the bed, but alone. I look under the bed, check all the wardrobes, rooms, and find nothing.

Just as I was about to go back in and apologize to my wife, I see this pair of hands holding onto the kitchen window ledge. I grab the meat tenderizer from the kitchen counter and proceed to smash his fingers, I see him fall 15 stories, hit a tree, then a bush.

Then I see him trying to crawl away... I don't even know how, or where I got the strength, probably the adrenaline from rage and running up the stairs; I lift the refrigerator, and hurl it through the window at the guy below.

Just as I saw that I got the bastard, I suffer a heart attack, and next thing I know, I'm up here."

"I see, thanks, and you?" Saint Peter says as he points at the second guy.

Second man begins: "Well I was exercising on my balcony of my 17th floor apartment, when I slipped on something and fell over the edge. Luckily my quick reflexes helped me grab onto a window ledge couple of floors down.

Suddenly this maniac comes with a hammer or something and starts hitting my fingers, unable to hold on, I fall all the way down, by some miracle hitting a tree and landing in the bush.

In agony, but happy to be alive I look up to thank god for letting me survive, when I see this fridge falling straight at me... Next thing I know, I'm up here."

OK...Yup, checks out, and you?" St Peter asks the third guy.

Third guy: "Man I was in bed with this super hot chick, when she hears her husband running up the stairs, and tells me to hide!

But we are like really high up in an apartment, with nowhere to hide, out of time, in an act of desperation; I hide inside the fridge. Next minute I'm up here..."

Submitted September 02, 2016 at 02:09PM by Folirant http://ift.tt/2bZF9tD Jokes