I will not keep secrets from my family. pettyrevenge

The story so far:

So my wife and I are having a baby, as has been known to happen. Both sides of our family have been waiting on this for a while, so we knew it was going to be a big deal with we finally announced it to everyone, and it was. Almost instantly we were bombarded with questions about the baby's sex. "Do you know it yet?" "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" So on and so forth.

The thing is, both of us are loathe to answer any questions on that front because the second we say anything one way or another we're going to be buried beneath either a blue or pink avalanche of baby stuff, neither of which we're particularly keen on.

With that in mind, when it came time for us to find out the baby's sex we kept it to ourselves- we wanted to know for our own planning purposes, but didn't want to deal with the aforementioned colorgeddon. We tried to make a game of it ("Ohh, we want it to be a surprise for all of youuuu!", etc), but they are having none of that and the questioning has only intensified.

"But you have to tell us or how will we know what to buy?"

"Would you prefer this written with a blue pen or a pink pen?"

"Oh, the baby did -x-? That means it must be a boy. It's a boy, isn't it?" intense searching look

We've held firm so far, much to the chagrin of everyone around us.

Cue the baby shower:

Since we refused to play ball when it came to letting information slip about the baby my family had no choice but to select shower decorations in gender-neutral colors. Yellow and green were the obvious choices, and most of the decorations featured ducks. Ducks are not our favorite thing, but we figured it was a small price to pay to stave off an eternity of monochromatic baby clothing.

Little did I know.

Unbeknownst to us my family had brought extra supplies, and not just a few stuffed animals as one might expect. As the party drew close to a close they slipped off to take care of this and that- clean up here, organize the gifts over there, use the restroom, and so on.

Today there are tiny rubber ducks everywhere. In the refrigerator and freezer. Behind the blinds and curtains. In the coffee pot. Floating in the sinks. In the shower. In our bed. In our office. IN THE TOILET. Staring at me. Judging me. Watching me pee.

I'm sorry, family. I've learned my lesson and won't keep secrets from you again. Please make them stop.

TL;DR: Kept the baby's sex a secret. Now my house is full of ducks.

Submitted April 21, 2015 at 01:23AM by hemolytic_d http://ift.tt/1El2KPp pettyrevenge