I literally just made an account to create this, this is my first post on reddit, I've been a long time lurker.
So without further a due, enjoy this ham-tale.
Be John (me) - 6ft tall and about 155 pounds.
Don't fucking be lardbeast (my roommate) - Around 5'6 and probably around 290 pounds
So this is my first year of college and I decided to stay in the college dorms instead of the apartments around campus, I was anxiously expecting to get a roommate who was fun and outgoing. Oh boy was I wrong
The first day I met lardbeast he seemed pretty friendly, I instantly saw that he seemed like a huge introvert, and of course I noticed that he was really fat, at the beginning I had no big issue with it, but after seeing him fill the refrigerator with pop tarts and bacon it began to annoy me.
The first night, while I was sleeping, some pork snoring noise woke me up, of course it was lardbeast snoring his poor lungs out that struggled to get some oxygen through all the fat, this annoyed me to no end, now everytime he snores I wake him up and tell him to shut the hell up.
Did I mention lardbeast is a "metalhead"? And not the cool long hair type, he used to wear a mask and identify himself with the name "metal", which to me is cringy as hell, he also talks with his girlfriend in english although both of them come from Mexico and Spanish is their mother language.
Lardbeast is studying music, so he sometimes plays the guitar in the room, which prevents me from studying there.
Lardbeast has no clothes at all, he has like 3 pants and 2 shirts and he rarely even washes them so you can smell his dreadful stench of sweat from miles away.
He also sometimes uses the bathroom for like 30 minutes in a row, and he rarely flushes the toilet. Lardbeast is an introvert and so if I tell him he shouldn't do something, he reacts as if I was his mom telling me in a low pitchy voice "ok sorry", I'm not supposed to be doing that type of $hit.
Also, lardbeast gives no fucks about school, I never see him stuying, he is always tweeting or playing the guitar, I saw his twitter and it made me cringe to no end.
Lardbeast also went "on a diet" for like 2 days, it consisted on a lot of sandwhiches with turkey bacon (because according to him it is a very healthy choice) and tons of cheese, and of course.. Lettuce 'cuz it good for ur body
I have already made a petition so I can get another roommate, to all my brothers out there with a lardbeast like mine, I feel you... Stay strong.
TL;DR -> Can't stand whale roommate,
Submitted September 04, 2016 at 03:42AM by JohnMead3 http://ift.tt/2cnVozz fatpeoplestories
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