Does anyone experience sexism in the way of expected interaction? TwoXChromosomes

Hi TwoX,

I've been thinking lately about this weird trend I've experienced at work and I'd like to get your thoughts/experiences.

Background: I'm 26f and an engineer at a nuclear power plant. My husband 26m is also an engineer here, and 90% of my social interactions outside of work are with friends who are ALSO engineers/maintenance workers/etc at the plant. Obviously, there's not an 50/50 spread of men vs. women; however, I don't feel like there's any shortage of women or young people. Our demographic pretty well mirrors the demographic of the nuclear industry and engineering. I work for a great company, and I've never had any problems of systemic sexism here.

SO, to my point. I've noticed that the older men that I work with/near seem to expect a certain level of interaction with me, whether I know them or not. In the halls, in the break room, in the cafeteria, you name it. It seems that my existence as a young woman is some sort of beacon that flirtatiously calls out, "I want to talk to everyone! Get in line!" This is not the case. I don't mind polite and quick interactions (a smile and a hello, how are you), but I'm starting to realize that a large chunk of the men are immediately offended if it doesn't meet their expectations. Things like, in recent memory:

• "What, don't I get a smile?!"- as I was bent down to look in the refrigerator and he walked into the breakroom I was in
• "Would it kill you to have a conversation?" - a seperate time in the break room, after we had polite basic interactions and then I started to leave
• "I guess saying good morning is not hip anymore, geez" - passing someone in the hall
• "You hang out with (lists names of my friends & husband) all the time, but won't hang out with me. How's that for rejection!"- in a large meeting with our executives, after declining happy hour with someone I barely know. Said across the table, in front of everyone.
• "I know you've been on Facebook since I sent you a friend request, I've seen you talking on (friend's name) status"- when I declined a friend request from someone
• "Good fucking morning to you too, then"

The last one happened this morning. I was walking into the cafeteria, he was walking out, and when he was about 20 feet from me, I turned 90 degrees to set my bag on a side table. He said that to me as he walked past me and my back was turned to him.

I have the hardest time describing these things to the male coworkers I'm friends with. And I get it- every time I repeat what was said (other than the thing this morning), it sounds just like friendly enough conversation. Or, in a couple cases, they know whichever guy said the weird thing to me and "oh, but he's really nice!" BUT my issues are, A) the attitude and offense that the men take when I don't act in their expected way is pretty icy and B) this doesn't seem to happen to any group of people at work besides the women. My husband/male friends are my age, and they all agree it doesn't happen to them. But as soon as I bring it up with my female coworkers/friends, they know exactly what I'm talking about.

None of us appreciate the attitude that part of our job is to bat our eyes and smile big and act like every interaction with a dude is the highlight of our day. Does anyone else experience anything like this? Does it have a name or something I can point to and say, "yes this is what it is"?

Submitted July 23, 2016 at 01:12AM by yasexythangyou http://ift.tt/2ag8kcl TwoXChromosomes