You my fellow traveler are not a special snowflake. TalesFromTheFrontDesk

I know a few travelers frequent this page. So allow me to share some knowledge with you to pass on. You are not special. Lets break this down.

1. Just because you are part of a convention, or have a special corporate rate does not mean I can get that rate. Hotels sell out. Or get too low on rooms to warrant giving out cheap rates. Conventions get booked up. He who hesitates is lost. Modern parlance; you snooze you lose dufus.

2. But I have platinum, diamond, elite status. You my friend are just a salesperson who has racked up a bunch of travel miles. You are not the president. You are not the pope. You aren't that special. When you get a room when the property is sold out, that means some poor schmuck gets walked(booted out of a room) just to accommodate your sorry butt. The hotel has to pay for that guests stay elsewhere. The hotel can only do that for so long before they lose money. And then they stop. See above note about snoozing and loosing.

3. I have a strict diet because of my religion/I am breastfeeding. I must have a refrigerator in my room. Sorry stupid. Just because you belong to some cult(I am an atheist, everything is a cult to me) or because your body happens to be leaking, does not give you the right to get a fridge. There are these folks that have diabetes. And a need to store the medication. Are you aware there are certain heart and cancer medications that must be refrigerated. So call the concierge. They can hook you up with a deli that delivers. Breastfeeding. You booked a hotel room. A private room. So take the brat up to your private room and let them drink right from the tap.

4. You aren't fooling anyone buddy. A howler monkey is not a service animal. Or a spider, or miniature horse, or fish, or bear. Stick that thing in a kennel.

5. I found a bug in my room. There was a hair on the toilet. The window will not open. I must get an upgrade to the presidential suite. Yeah and I need a $20 an hour raise. Just shut up.

6. You're sold out! Just give me one of those handicapped rooms. Yeah some hotels will book an able body into an accessible room just for the money/to shut you up. Just so you know though, you just suck. Do not meet me in a dark alley. You'll need that room afterwords if we do. Now get out of my face. I have to go teach kindergarten.

7. The hotel is sold out! But I'm a regular guest! Listen dummy that still does not change that a hotel can be sold out. But how can you be sold out? How? Really? Its simple. There are people in all the rooms! If you want a room, here is what you do. Pick a door. Kick it in. Then kick out the occupants. Soon some men in uniforms will come by. They will escort you to a new room. With bars. But hey free room and board with free food. And if you're lucky, a roommate who thinks you have a "purdy mouth."

8. Your rates are too high! Why last year I only payed blah, blah, blah. Rates change at hotels. Its called a market economy. You want to haggle? This isn't a market square. And no dammit I will not give you a room in exchange for a goat. You want a room for $89 dollars? Check the local motel. You know where all the hookers and drug dealers hang out.

In short to all the travelers: Have a backup plan, be prepared to spend some money some times, and this should go with out saying, do not be a pain in the ass. We will do what we can to the utmost, within reason.

Submitted September 23, 2016 at 04:16AM by BROCKTUNGSTON http://ift.tt/2cVuwrg TalesFromTheFrontDesk