This evening has been one of the worst evenings I have experienced in a very long time. First off, I want to apologize in advance for any formatting issue and/or grammar mistakes. I'm upset right now, and if anything, I'm just looking for some support.
A quick backstory. My boyfriend (Ian, 26 years old) and I have been dating (exclusively) for well over 5 months now. Both of us met in university, and we are actually in similar programs. I graduate in the May/June of this year, while Ian graduates in the "Fall/2017" semester. I have known Ian really well, for probably around 3 years at least. We met as classmates, and as time went on, we spent more and more time around each other. Both of us (around 7 months ago now), near the end of last summer lets say. Well, we entered into a friends with benefits situation. Of course, feelings from both sides had gotten involved; here we are now.
I have had no issues with our relationship. In fact, I think these past 5 months have been way better then expected. Expect for this evening, which has left me really mad, sad, upset, and hurt in every which way. I'm not the biggest partier anymore. In fact, I think I grew out of that stage when I was 22 or 23. I still like hanging out with my girls, having wine nights and going dancing here and there. But, I'm really focusing a lot of my life (school, health [exercise and diet], and improving all other areas of my life). Ian, on the other hand, is still quite the crazy party boy. I have no issues with this, since he doesn't force any bad habit or pressure me into anything. We spend time with each other, and we have our own lives - perfect.
Earlier this week, one of my close friends (Leah, 28F) invited me to a St. Patricks Day party that one of our other friends was putting together. I thought that it would be a nice way to spend an evening. Considering everywhere else is either busy, completely full, and everything "seems" to be well overpriced. Of course, Ian was invited. Plus, some of his other friends were invited to the party as well. I think in total, there were around 30ish people at this house party? I was having an alright time, until something very disturbing happened. I was waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom, and someone grabbed my right butt cheek (very hard), and smacked my ass. I tried swinging my arms as I turned around to knock off however was doing this. Expect, when I turned around, all I saw was an empty hall way. Right then, I assumed one of the two guys who walked passed me in the hallway did it.
So, once the girl that was in the bathroom left, I went in to do my business. As I was doing my thing, all of the sudden I heard some guy banging the door and saying; "hey baby, can I come in to have my dick sucked by you?". I was stunned. I finished up, washed my hands, and left the bathroom. Again, the allay was empty, so I quickly walked back into the living room/kitchen area, where every one was hanging out. At this point, I was actually really scared. I went to find Ian, and put my arm around his as he was standing talking with his friends. I told him that I needed to talk to him in private. He was very disgruntled with the fact I interrupted him, but I told him it was urgent. Both of us went into another, empty room of the house (dinning room) and I explained the situation to him. Long story short, Ian thought I was overacting, and he told me to focus on having a good time. That was that..
Not even 20 minutes later. I was standing in the kitchen with Leah and a couple of my other friends, when a few guys (not sure who they were) walked in to grab drinks out of the refrigerator. Basically, where I was standing, our backs were towards them (talking near those island counters), and some grabs my ass (again..). This time I turn around, and basically freak out at these three guys. I confronted them asking who grabbed my ass, and mentioned the previous time at the bathroom too. Leah, Samantha, and Haylee (my other friends) started confronting the three guys as well. I was telling them what happened previously, and they couldn't believe it. Of course, none of them said who did it, by they tried to tell a lot of dirty jokes as they walked away. At this point, I was mad, upset, and I wanted to go home. I went up to Ian and asked to talk to him in private. At this point, he wasn't in the mood, and he told me to "not worry about", and "it's no big deal, your fine".
I told him flat out that I was heading home now, and this got him really upset. Basically, outside of the house, where I was waiting for my brother (Tanner, 23M) to pick me up. I was in an argument with Ian over this entire issue. He was mad that I was leaving the party, and I was upset because he didn't seem to care about me being groped by other men. We argued for about 15 minutes, right up until my brother picked me up to take me home. Since I have gotten home, I have extremely upset over the entire evening. Not only was I groped and yelled at from other men, but my boyfriend didn't seem to care. All he cared about was hanging out, getting drunk, and partying with his friends. If he at least cared about the whole situation a little bit more, we wouldn't have had a problem here. But he didn't. Plus, I felt very unsafe being there with guys like that roaming around, groping women like me.
Is my relationship strained with Ian? Is there anything that I can talk to him about tomorrow? I'm really upset, and I want him to care and understand where I am coming from? This evening was horrible, and I just wish I had more support from my boyfriend. Am I being unreasonable here?
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I were at a St. Patricks Day Party this past evening, where I was groped a couple times during the evening. The evening ended with us getting into an argument (right before I was picked up from my brother) because I felt Ian didn't really care or consider it a big deal. Am I making this out to be bigger deal, as he suggests?
Submitted March 18, 2017 at 10:23AM by 34hsdgwdb http://ift.tt/2mSPsUl relationships
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