Adam and I had a fight last night. It turns out he’s not who I thought he was.
All this time I thought Adam was devout, pure, devoted to the pursuit of freedom just like I was and a loyal member of The Beloved.
He’s not.
And he came clean about it last night. At first I had full intentions to report him to leadership, but then he told me a few things I couldn’t ignore.
We met up in passing in the stacks at the library last night around 8. I had just left from a purge session with John, and had been making some amazing progress. John said my abilities are getting stronger and soon I’ll be able to join him as his spirit wife. This was great news until I ran into Adam.
I told him how my session went, and he freaked out.
He shook his head and shoved his hands down in his jeans pockets. “Look, I’m gonna take a huge risk here, but I don’t care anymore. I can’t let you do this.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not the only one John has seduced, and it’s sick,” Adam said.
“Don’t talk that way. John is our savior. You sound like a defective right now.”
“And you sound like a brainwashed cult member drunk on John’s Kool Aid!”
I nearly slapped him in the face for his blasphemy. I couldn’t believe he said that about someone as pure and holy as John. Then it hit me. He’s the one who had been contacting everyone in The Beloved. He was Renegade!
Adam looked around to make sure no one else was watching or listening. Then he pulled me to a remote corner and we sat down at a research table there.
He locked eyes with me. “Katelynn, don’t do this. John is not who you think he is.”
“That can’t be.”
“It can be,” he said in a low voice, “and it is. John thinks he is God. I assure you he isn’t. He’s just a sick, twisted pervert who wants you as part of his harem.”
“You’re lying!”
“Wanna bet? John’s got a harem. I know that for a fact.”
“Then how come no one else knows or says anything?”
“Why do you think, Katelynn? That screams wacko pseudo-religious cult. This only works if everyone believes he’s God. You think he’s gonna admit to this when he’s pushing chastity on everyone else?”
Adam sat back and gave me a glare and waited for my response. I stood up. “You’re a deviant! I’m reporting you to the elders.”
He remained seated and laughed. “Go ahead. I don’t care. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you away from that narcissistic psychopath!”
Part of me wanted to walk away, but I couldn’t. Now that he had suggested there was foul play, I could look back and see questionable motives in John. Adam could see my wheels turning. He tore out of piece of paper and scribbled on it. Then he handed it to me.
“What’s this?”
“The truth,” Adam said. “John’s real name is Warren Eaton. BING him. You’ll vomit at what you find.”
“Why? What’s he done?”
Adam got up from the table. “Oh no. That’s for you to read about. I won’t spoil it for you. Besides, the proper path to being deprogrammed is for you to come to the full truth on your own.” Then he walked away.
I sat for the next two hours and debated whether I should research this. All I wanted was to believe in John, but Adam was so convincing, and I knew in my heart he had no ill motives. Finally I got to a computer and searched for this name.
Several links came up right away. The first was for Michigan’s official sex offender registry. My hands shook as I clicked on the link.
I thought I was seeing things. Right there in front of me was a younger picture of John. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit and was holding a number.
“Oh God,” I said and kept reading.
WARREN EATON—SEX OFFENDER
Offenses
• Description: Statutory rape, sexual misconduct with a minor, sexual battery, incest
• Date Convicted: 01/22/2004
• Conviction State: Michigan
• Details: FELONY D
• Sentence: 5 YRS DOC
I nearly fell out of my chair. This was John. I couldn’t believe as intuitive as I was that I never picked up on this. So much for being as spiritually in tune as he had suggested I was. I printed out the information, looked over my shoulder to make sure no one else was around and grabbed the papers.
But there was more.
According to some local news links in the UP (that’s the Upper Peninsula for those who aren’t aware), John had similar sects of The Beloved at other universities under different names. One ended with the death of 12 students who had taken their own lives by taking sleeping pills. John was under investigation but then later it was dropped after he cited his 1st Amendment rights, and there was no proof he had told any of those students to do what they had. Due to a possible scandal and pending lawsuit John had filed, no one else picked up the investigation. I printed that too.
This was madness. There had to be an explanation. But this was real, in black and white, and there was no denying it. The photos on the Web were clearly of John and clearly not photoshopped.
This was real.
I didn’t know where to turn. Then I looked down at the paper Adam had given me. There was more on it than just John’s real name. There was an address at the bottom that I knew was just off campus and the following note…
I told you so. I know you’re scared right now, but I’m here for you. Meet me at my apartment as soon as you can. You can trust me.
Adam
I gathered up my stuff and left.
The shuttle ride off campus and out to Adam’s apartment seemed to take forever. I trembled as I tried to process everything I had just read. Could everything I’ve believed be a lie? There had to be another explanation, but I couldn’t ignore cold hard facts. Adam knew I couldn’t, which was why he gave them to me.
My legs wobbled as I raced up to his front door. He opened it before I could reach it.
“Get in here,” he said with urgency, then closed the door behind me.
I stared at him, searching for answers, some end to this nightmare, but I knew. Everything he had told me and everything I had found had to be true.
“You knew I’d come here?”
He nodded, and I leaned back against the door. Adam took a step back from me.
“I don’t know what to make of this,” I said in a low voice. “What’s there to question now that you know the truth?” His tone was filled with frustration, and this was the second time that day I had seen him as anything other than calm and collected. He took a deep breath.
“I just can’t believe it.”
“Believe it,” he said. “The Beloved is a cult, and I intend to expose the whole thing.”
Was he serious?
“Then let’s just leave,” I said. “Why the need to destroy this? This is helping people. People find comfort, healing and freedom in John’s teachings. Why take that away from them?”
“How can you say that?” His face reddened with rage.
“Adam, I don’t know. Maybe John has changed. Maybe he’s purged his old ways and…”
“Trust me, he hasn’t.”
I turned to leave, and he grabbed me by the arm. “Don’t go back to him, Katelynn, not after what you know.”
“Let me go.”
He released me, and then looked down at the floor. “I’m taking this cult down with or without your help.”
“Why, Adam? What’s in this for you?”
Tears filled his eyes, and he unsnapped and removed his leather wristbands, holding up his arms to show me something I wasn’t expecting.
“You’re not the only one with scars,” he said with pain in his voice. “This is what John and The Beloved brainwashed me to do.”
My heart dropped to the floor. I gasped and put my hand over my open mouth. Adam had deep pink fading scars on both wrists. I grabbed his wrists, examining the vertical scarred cuts for myself.
“He told me it was the only way, that suicide was the only way to be free,” he said in a low voice. “I believed him. Can you believe it? I have a 129 IQ, and I believed his lie. Thank God I was home when I did it, freaked out and called 9-1-1 right after. I knew it was wrong. Yet I did it. Katelynn, I can’t let him do this to anyone else. People will die if I don’t stop him.”
“Oh my God…”
He smirked. “Don’t you mean, ‘Oh my John?’” He paused, then spoke again. “That six months I ‘defected from The Beloved to find myself before coming home’ is bull. I spent most of that time in a psych ward being deprogrammed. That’s why I was gone. That’s why I’m still working on my doctorate. I’m back now only to expose John and help everyone I can escape from this.”
“I’m so sorry, Adam. I didn’t know.”
He took a step toward me, and I was now up against the door again. I gently ran my thumb over his right wrist, then bent down to give it a tender kiss. I did the same with the other. Adam reached up and wiped the streaming tears from my cheeks.
“Please don’t go back to him,” he said again.
Then he leaned toward me and cupped my face with his hands. Our lips met, softly at first and then with more pressure and passion. Adam parted my thighs with his knee, leaning farther into me. I clutched him, breathless, aching for him, fully prepared to let him have me any way he wanted to. I yearned for him then, and there was only one thing we could do in that moment that would satisfy my need for him.
“You don’t know how difficult it was not to do this the first time you asked me to,” he said in almost a whisper. “You’re all I’ve thought about since we met…”
“Then ask me to stay the night,” I whispered, now consumed by love’s powerful enchantment. “I’ll say yes. Just ask me.”
He kissed my neck, taking his time, as though each delicate point of contact was vital, telling me all of his secrets without speaking any words. And I knew what every one of them meant. I reached down to unzip his jeans. That’s when he stopped and backed away after moving my hands away from him.
“Don’t. We can’t. Not now.”
Desire still pulsated through me, and I stood enslaved to it. “It’s OK, Adam. I want this tonight.”
He shook his head, then looked at me with adoration. “I’m sorry, Katelynn. I shouldn’t have kissed you. Believe me, I want more and I want you, but it’s dangerous now for us both. John and the elders can’t find out about us. It would mean trouble for both of us, especially for you.”
“Just let me stay here with you. We don’t have to have sex.” He backed away again and looked down. “I’m not sure you should. The truth is you’re in an emotionally fragile place, not fully deprogrammed. I won’t take advantage of your vulnerability they way John would. Besides, your feelings for me might not be real because of it.”
“Yes, they are.” They had to be. I also felt something and had felt something for Adam since the day we met. It had to be real. Adam looked relieved. “Does anyone else from The Beloved know you’re here?”
“No.”
“All right. Stay tonight. But we can’t be this careless again.” Then he walked into the kitchen. I followed.
He grabbed a can of Pepsi out of the refrigerator and handed it to me. Then he took out another for himself. Adam chugged it, then threw the can in the trash and sat down at the kitchen table. I joined him.
“I’m sorry I cut us off in there,” he said. “There’s nothing I want more than to take you to bed, but I can’t have the distraction now. I can’t let any of them know how I really feel about you. John would use my feelings for you to his advantage, and I don’t want you hurt. I hope you understand.”
At first I didn’t want to understand. But deep down I knew he was right, and we still had to go on as though nothing was going on between us.
I only nodded.
We both realized it was after midnight and decided to get some sleep. Adam let me sleep in his room with him, and I was glad, not because of our physical attraction as much as the fact I didn’t want to be alone. He knew that, and we didn’t fool around anymore.
The events of the day finally hit me hard as he spooned up against me from behind. Everything was still so confusing. John had seemed so pure, so spiritual, so trustworthy, but now I didn’t know what to think about him in light of the truth. I wept there as Adam held me. He told me over and over everything was going to be all right and he would protect me. The comfort his warm and loving arms gave me soothed the hurt and confusion inside, and I felt in that moment something I hadn’t felt since the night of my attack.
Safe.
Adam’s letting me post this from his place on a laptop leadership doesn’t know he has. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep these blogs a secret. The elders now monitor our online activities from the compound, so it’s no longer safe blogging from there. I’m impressed he’s been able to keep his off-campus apartment a secret this long. I just don’t know what’s in store for us now. I think I’m falling for him, which seems strange and almost wrong in light of my soul tie with John. Maybe it’s all a lie. Maybe John and I aren’t connected at all. Maybe we are. I don’t know. Maybe it’s like Adam said. He’s convinced John has a harem and John wants me to be a part of it. Yet Adam won’t give me definitive proof. He won’t tell me the extent of what he’s witnessed or heard. He keeps telling me I’m not ready.
I have a class this morning at 9, and then I have a purge session with John. I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this anymore, not after learning what and who he really is.
All I want to do is leave, but The Beloved will never let that happen. Adam and I are trapped now, and the only way out is to take this down from the inside.
But how?
Submitted March 15, 2017 at 05:06PM by cardinalgrad03 http://ift.tt/2mrJLvS nosleep
No comments:
Post a Comment