This was about 10 or 11 years ago when Myspace was still the go-to social networking site. I had met a few friends and dates through it, to varying degrees of success. I was only fatfished once, but it was one hell of an experience.
I got a message out of the blue from a friend of my cousin's (who is built like a refrigerator herself). Being a pretty friendly guy, I started talking to her and she seemed pretty cool. We had some similar interests and seemed to hit it off. It didn't hurt that her pictures showed a 5'2" petite young woman with long, black hair. I was excited to meet her. My truck was in the shop at the time, so she was going to have my cousin drive her to meet me (we lived 40 minutes apart).
She shows up and boy what a shock. She was about 6'2" (to my 5'6") with dishwater brown hair that was shorter than mine (military style cut). She outweighed me more than double, walking around with a good 350 pounds. I asked her about it, and she said I must have confused her pictures with her sister's pictures. That's impossible, I knew I was catfished. I decided since she came out and I had no other plans, I might as well take her on that date and try to have a good time. Big mistake.
Dinner was boring, besides the huge amount of food she ate. And the huge amount of my food she ate. RIP fries. The movie went okay at first, until she started breathing down my neck, trying to get intimate. First of all, I gave her no reason to think I was attracted to her. Second of all, I was in NO way not turned off by her. Third, her hands and face were this weird combo of sticky and greasy from the XL popcorn and 5 boxes of candy she had gone through. It was extremely uncomfortable, and I was running out of ways to say "no" or "knock it off".
We stop by her place so she can change as she had spilled her XL soda on her shirt. I texted my cousin who said she was on her way to pick me up. I caught a glimpse of her sister, who DID look like the pictures, but she made tracks pretty fast. In walks this fatfishing hambeast with a cereal bowl of strawberries swimming in Hershey syrup. Like she's trying to be romantic or something. She offers me some, but I decline. She went at them greedily, and finished by slurping up the last of the syrup and licking the bowl clean. Where the hell was my cousin?
My cousin was held up by something, I still don't know what, and I was stuck there overnight. She kept going on about how glad she finally found someone to start a relationship and a life with and how she was the luckiest girl alive. I'm pretty good at letting things slide, but there was no way I was getting involved. I told her we should just be friends and she snapped. She started "stress eating" as she called it. She played that song "Better Than Me" by Hinder on loop until the morning. She kept trying to get sexual, then she would sob into her ice cream or microwave food. All night, from 10pm to 8am, was like this. She got completely naked a few times, and I about lost my dinner. The rolls, the stench, it was all too much. I'm still bitter at my cousin!
Luckily I was able to leave pretty early in the morning. I swore off meeting people online after that experience. Luckily I met my wife in the next year and I didn't have to go through something like that again.
TL;DR: Met a cutie on Tom's Love Machine, turned out to be a catfishing hammie, and had one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life.
Submitted April 19, 2017 at 02:12AM by bad--apple http://ift.tt/2oKJnum fatpeoplestories
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