Lo, I had to knock up a woman who was either engaged or married or something in order to father myself so that I could kill myself so that I could resurrect myself so that I could trick myself into letting you all into Heaven instead of following my original plan, which was to cast you all into eternal damnation for the imperfections that I built into each and every one of you.
In celebration of some important parts of that story, tomorrow night we will take perishable foods out of the refrigerator and hide them overnight at room temperature. Also, animal shaped chocolate.
That is all. Happy Easter.
Submitted April 15, 2017 at 03:42AM by iamkuato http://ift.tt/2pkoq9k atheism
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