So for as long as I can remember my Dad has been an asshole. He has a bad temper and gets angry very easily. When I was around 3 years old he would hit me with a belt if I stuck my tongue out at him. I can remember screaming for help and screaming for my mother and she would just walk away. When I got older the belt stuff stopped but the verbal insults became unbearable. I basically became a recluse and would spend all of my time in my room just to avoid him.
He told me I had a double chin and was gaining too much weight when I was 9 years old. (I was a perfect healthy weight) Nothing I did was ever good enough. No grades, no behavior, nothing could ever meet his standards.
Report card day was a nightmare. I would just sit there and cry and take the verbal abuse and then go to my room and cry for hours. His usual thing was, "You are the stupidest goddamn person I have ever met in my life!" I remember when I was 16 he saw my report card and said, "You're going to end up just like your mother, living in a trailer with some n*gger." (My parents split and mom moved out when I was 16) I brought it up to him once that he had said this to me, but he denied it. He denies any of the times he would lash out at me.
When I was around 19 he gave my dog away. He claimed that I didn't train it properly, so he was going to make it HIS dog. Well when his training didn't work either, rather than admit failure he just got rid of him. I was devastated. I came home one day and he was gone.
I was a quiet (introverted, likely depressed) teenager, and this enraged him. He always felt like I was doing nothing with my life, and he constantly accused me of "Walking around like the world owes you something." No idea where the hell that came from.
He was obsessed with the cleanliness of my room and I had no privacy, even as an adult. When I was 21 years old he told me that he had shown my messy room to his girlfriend and she agreed it was gross. I wanted to scream. That same year he said he took pictures of my messy room and that he was going to show them to my fiance to "make sure he knows what he's getting himself into." He didn't have a digital camera...so he actually took photos and had them developed. He also told my fiance not to trust me with any pets, based on the previous dog situation which was 100% bullshit.
I moved back home briefly after a nasty divorce. Things were okay at first and then went back to their old ways. He would get upset over crazy things, like the bath mat being wet, or me putting a loaf of bread in the refrigerator. He and his wife both were crazy passive aggressive. They would pretend everything was fine and then he'd ask to sit and talk with me. He'd have a 20 bullet point list of everything he felt I had done wrong, some of which reached back months in the past. Some of the items obviously came from his wife, but she would always smile to my face and pretend that everything was fine.
I kept my room clean the majority of the time but at one point I was sick for two weeks and my room became a mess. I came home from work one night and could tell someone had been in my room. The next morning I got up to make a piece of toast and he told me I needed to find another place to live, and that he would not cosign anything because his wife wouldn't let him. He knew my credit was shot from my divorce, and that I didn't have any money, so this really put me in a bad spot.
We talked about it and he said he wasn't mad, that he just felt it was best for everyone that I move out. A few days later he sent me a nasty hate-filled email saying that he can't wait for me to find a place, can't happen soon enough, etc. At the time I was working 2nd shift at a hospital, so we never even saw each other except for on the weekends...I'm clueless as to where all this anger came from.
It's been a few years now and I'm happily married and living in a different state. Things are much more pleasant between him and I when we live far apart and just have a casual 10-minute phone call three times a year.
I've noticed a pattern in his behavior where he makes a commitment based on emotion and then decides later that he can't handle it so he just dumps it. He did this with the dog, he did this with me, he even did this with his own mother. He invited her to move in with him and his wife after his father died and they kicked her out less than a year later. This coming year they're going to be moving to another state and basically abandoning her. She's in her upper 80's, she has no other family in the area and she can't drive.
So what do you think, narcissistic or just an asshole?
Submitted December 10, 2014 at 10:40PM by PinkMonkeySlippers http://ift.tt/1zPLwmN raisedbynarcissists
No comments:
Post a Comment