So this literally just happened 5 minutes ago. Let me preface my story by saying that I've had a complicated relationship with mushrooms. They often don't...agree...with me, but today I was willing to give it another go. WARNING: this will contain tales of flatulence and uncomfortable defecation.
So I recently purchased a microwavable meal from a local chain grocery store. I purchase these meals fairly regularly, and they are generally very high quality. On Monday, I went into the store to get my usual meal (bacon and pea risotto), but they didn't seem to have it. I was shocked and a little disappointed. In the spot where my glorious risotto is normally located was a mushroom risotto. I stood in front of the store's refrigerator thing for a couple of minutes trying to decide whether to buy this in place of the normal risotto. I decided, 'What the hell? I'll give it a try.' Boy, was that a mistake.
Flash forward to this morning-ish. I woke up late today and decided at around 11:30 that I was hungry. I went to the refrigerator and saw the risotto sitting there calling my name. So, I heated it up and proceeded to eat lunch/breakfast (brunch?). After a couple of bites, I realised that it could use some hot sauce. I poured some in and continued to eat. It tasted pretty decent, but it was definitely not my favourite bacon and pea risotto.
Flash forward three hours. My stomach starts to rumble and I get a little gassy. Then, I realise that I need to hit the toilet. The next 20 minutes were rather unpleasant for me. I had already shit once this morning so I knew that this wasn't the product of anything I ate yesterday. I was initially slightly confused as to what was happening until I smelled it. (I apologise for the graphic nature of this post, but it is what it is.) The smell was a mix of the mushrooms and you know what. To say it smelled horribly would be an understatement. Regardless, after my bowels were completely evacuated, I went to flush. Then I realised that I hadn't flushed at all in since I had sat down. I knew what was ahead of me. Yep, I clogged my toilet.
So now I'm sitting here without a plunger and with the window open (even though it is about 5 degrees Celsius outside). I'm just waiting, hoping and praying that the toilet will fix itself. I can now say with certainty that mushrooms and my stomach do not get along.
Submitted November 26, 2014 at 08:48PM by I_was_made_for_this http://ift.tt/11uK1ie tifu
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