You knew when we first meet that I suffer from mental illness. A year later you told me you loved me immensely and that you wanted to be with me forever. I went to a psychologist, I wanted to get better, not be so destructive and overtly angry. I wanted to control it. I learned how to be calmer and not be so outrageous all the time. Which you told me you didn't mind.
Then you meet me on meds. I was way calmer, I was under control. I was caring, as if I hadn't been before, but I was more so, and in different ways. I held in my anger, my frustration, and I let you push me around and let you be a slob. I didn't get angry, I don't think the medication would allow it. Then I got really sick, and had to get off them, and I have been off them since. About 2 months, I have been who I am naturally. And all you do is bitch and moan about how I'm out of control, when I do not react as violently as I used to 2 years ago. No where near as violent. But I explode once because the shelves in your refrigerator decided to fall apart as I went to put something away, and after 3 attempts to fix it, I exploded. I through shit, I threw the juice on the floor, left everything in it's place...scattered on the floor. You just watched. You didn't help, you just watched in silence as I attempted over and over to fix it, until it finally all came down...
You blame me!?!?!? I'm sicker than a dog, I am a full time college student who commutes 40 miles to school everyday, and who just had a temporary night job on the weekends for 4 weeks. Also, I do a ton of volunteer work on the side everyday.
AND YOU BLAME ME FOR EXPLODING WHEN IM SICKER THAN A FUCKING DOG, AND YOUR REFRIGERATOR, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SPACE IN IT CUZ YOU NEVER FUCKING CLEAN IT, DECIDES TO BREAK ALL OF A SUDDEN!?!?!? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
YOU TELL ME I AM OUT OF CONTROL AND I AM CRAZY AND YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME WHEN I'M "LIKE THIS", YET YOU COULD HANDLE ME LESS THAN 6 MONTHS AGO BEFORE I GOT ON MEDS!?!?! FUCK YOU!!!
YOU JUST SAT THERE ON YOUR ASS, WATCHING ME GET MORE AND MORE PISSED AS SHIT WASN'T WORKING, THEN SAT THERE AND DIDN'T HELP ME CLEAN ANY OF IT UP. JUST WATCHED. LIKE, IDK, IT WAS A TV SHOW OR SOME SHIT. AND YOU WONDER WHY I EXPLODED. BITCH, FUCK YOU!!!!
I am an amazing women, whose mental issues make me unique, and you should love me for who I am naturally, and not make me feel guilty for being flawed. FUCK YOU. YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING GUYS AT THE COLLEGE I GO TO WANT TO TAKE ME OUT TO COFFEE!?!?!? A LOT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, IF THEY ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT ME WITH ALL MY "FLAWS", MY "OUT-OF-CONTROL" FLAWS, THEN YOU CAN JUST GO!
I have cleaned up after you for too long. I just....OOOOOOOooooooo you fucking piss me off so much. DO NOT PROMISE TO LOVE ME FOR WHO I FUCKING AM AFTER SPENDING SO MANY YEARS WITH ME, THEN CALL ME A MONSTER AFTER I GET OFF SOME MEDS I WAS ONLY ON FOR 2 MONTHS!!!!!
LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR AND SEE THAT MAYBE I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE IN THE WRONG HERE, BUT MAYBE IT'S YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE ASS.
I WORK TOO HARD FOR THIS SHIT, BITCH. TOO FUCKING HARD.
Submitted November 03, 2014 at 10:29AM by mischievouskat http://ift.tt/1ug57gN TrueOffMyChest
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