Hi, FPS! I posted a bunch of crazy things that happened to me a few years ago, from Lesbiham to Ham, the Roommate.
Let me introduce you to the players of the game:
Skyefalle: Grad Student. TA. Bottle Redhead.
Sweetfatty: Name is becoming more and more inappropriate as time moves on. Just a footnote in this story.
Bouncer: Awesome husband of Sweetfatty. Just a footnote in this story. HUGE guy. Think built like WWE's Kane.
Lesbiham: Sweetfatty's former friend, bisexual (or fake lesbian,) attempted to ruin Sweetfatty's Bridal Shower and Wedding. At least 50 pounds bigger than she was before.
Unfortunately, I'm still a TA. In the home stretch and graduating from grad school in the spring with a super awesome job lined up after graduation!
Being a TA, I can't actually pick my students, of course. And I've been teaching a required course for English majors.
Last semester, I had unfortunate luck. The section I taught brought me back intro proximity with Lesbiham. Like most horror movie villains, this one won't die.
Onward.
This class isn't a hard class. Seriously. It's a Brit Lit class. Do the reading, pass my quizzes and tests (we even drop the lowest exam,) and write me some sort of coherent paper when asked, and you'll breeze your way to (and probably beyond) the C you need for your major.
Lesbiham had been in an entirely different major before this. I think she had been planning to be an activist of some variety. She was one semester from graduating when she decided she hated it and switched to English, which had very few overlapping classes besides basic reqs.
When Lesbiham walks into class, I almost audibly groaned. She glared at me the whole class.
I go over the syllabus, talk about my expectations, and then ask if there's any questions. Lesbiham's hand shoots up.
Is there an attendance requirement?
We had just gone over this, but I choke and smile and say, "Yes, you have 3 unexcused. After that, a doctor's note as well as a 2 page discussion on the reading for the day in a timely fashion will suffice. If no doctor's note is had, points are docked off of your final grade."
She starts sputtering about her conditions, and how she can't always go see her doctor, etc. The entire class has their attention on us because her tone is very hostile.
"Well, you can have your ongoing condition documented by your doctor that will also validate the need for absences, submitted to the University so that it can be treated across the board with multiple professors and their assistants and treated like the disability it is. The contact information for the proper office is on the last page of the syllabus above the Integrity warning."
HRW I mentioned having to go through the University.
She's skimming as I'm talking to her. When I finish, she blurts out.
What about tardiness? Sometimes it's hard to get to class on time because my knees hurt.
"Fifteen minutes gets points docked. Anything later is considered absent."
How I feel inside after smacking her down.
I dismiss early after giving the reading assignment for next class. She stays behind as I'm packing up my things.
I really don't appreciate you calling me a liar. I have a lot of conditions!
"I understand that, and I told you what you need to do for me to be able to bend the attendance rules for you. I'm not going to treat you any differently from any other student, positively or negatively. Do what I ask you to do and you will pass this class with flying colors. If you think there is going to be a problem, we can see about switching you to the 10 am section with the other TA."
No, 10 AM is too early. I'll just have to deal with you.
She stalks off as my second class filters in. I take the time to go the bathroom and regain my composure.
I text Sweetfatty, who puts a lovely cardbordeaux into the refrigerator for us for later.
This was just the beginning of a very long 3 months.
Submitted December 26, 2014 at 02:21PM by Skyefalle http://ift.tt/1vveC7Q fatpeoplestories
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