I'm 21 years old and in my 3rd year of college(final year) I live in the house with my mother[47] and my sister[4]. Growing up I never knew my father and always wondered what It would be like to have one, my mother did an excellent job parenting me and provided anything I ever wanted, I cant say one bad thing about her. Lately I have become extremely depressed with this situation. I work to provide for myself, pay rent and buy everything myself.. I get absolutely no financial help in way(this is an important - you'll see later), so this is a strain on me at times.
Lets call my stepdad John. He came into the picture when I was about 11 Years old, I had no bad things to say about him I thought he was nice and we got on well. Within the years that he has lived here my grandparents have sadly passed away. To put it into context I grew up with my mother, grandmother. John has been divorced and has three older children with another woman, he never see's his children and never talks about them. His marriage ended badly and I have heard stories why it ended (Gambling and just him not being nice) In the last couple of years since my grandparents passing he has become a different person.
There have been many instances lately were he has been verbally abusive and just generally horrible to me. Everything from both him and my mother is that there isnt any money for this or for that but its obviously because he is gambling. I offered to help budget the money and see where to save money and be frugal if needed. I save most of my money after growing up in this shitshow.
There have been many times when he has just been an outright asshole. One instance was when a soda disappeared from the refrigerator, I was accused of taking it and basically called every bad word you can think of, screamed at and everything. He promised me driving lessons, said I could drive let me make plans and constantly crushes those plans. He will not even acknowledge me around the house, he wont look at me or speak to me. He does not help clean up and everything is left up to my mother. When I am trying study he will barge into the living room and turn the tv on knowing I am studying. He has a gambling addiction and is constantly down making bets on horses and football games, my mother insists its just 'small amounts'. There has been many instances were he has borrowed off me (he always pays back eventually) and to keep the peace I would give money because it breaks my heart to see my mother like this. Money in the house seems to have dropped in the last two years and I can really see why. In general anything out of his mouth is moaning or giving out. There have been countless instances and I could go on for hours. He makes it unbearable to live here and I think its intentional from him.
I have been the bigger person and tried to sit down and communicate the differences and ask my mother to help mediate and resolve and just to cut the tensions and atmosphere in the house. I have always awknologed him, cleaned up and little things so its not hell to live here. My mother says its our problem and she does not want to come between it and take sides. Its so unfair and I cant cope with it anymore I feel like a stranger in my own home.
How can I improve the situation in the house? Should I try to improve my relationship with my stepfather or just accept thats who he is?
tl;dr: My gambling addicted and verbally abusive step father makes my life hell. He ignores me and makes me feel unwelcome in my own home. My mother wont help the situation and I do not know what to do anymore.
Submitted December 01, 2017 at 03:32AM by idprsdhep http://ift.tt/2BplDkw relationships
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