Kenmore 71059 French Door Freezer Refrigerator
ID: 381106270467
Auction price: $1069.99
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December 30, 2014 at 02:32AM
via eBay http://ift.tt/1wDRTG1
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TALE OF A HIPSTER
Once upon a time, there was a skinny little bearded hipster, with zany tattoos on his little spider-like arms, who was at Edgar's Bakery, looking for a pastry to pacify his domineering Goth Girlfriend, when all of a sudden, he ran into some Alabama rednecks. "Well, well, wellll.....lookeee what we got here - if it ain't a skinny, twiggy little Hipster!" said the lead Redneck, who had his three other Redneck toadies behind him. The fat toady Redneck spoke up - "Let's GIT him!!" The grabbed the Hipster before he could make his selection, much to the delight of the other patrons, who did not care one whit for the company of one such as he. They dragged him to the alley behind the shopping center, with the sound of traffic whoosing on the nearby road. "Keep that boy here while I git something - I got me a real good idea!" said the Redneck leader, as he drove off in his pickup, leaving the toadies to pick on the twiggy little Hipster, making fun of his zany tattoos on his skinny little arms, and the two quarters he had on each ear as earrings. The Redneck leader came back ten minutes later, with a 24-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon he had picked up at the local Publix. "Boy..." said the Redneck leader "...You gonna drink all 24 of these within the hour....or we gonna use our baseball bats to break every skinny little bone in your effeminate little body!" The Hipster had no choice but to comply - and consoled himself that, if he had to be bullied, at least it was with a beverage that, if not good tasting, still made him look chic while he was quafffing it down. "GO FER IT, HIPSTERRRR!!!!" cried the Rednecks, obviously enjoying the spectacle as the Hipster drunkenly made it past twenty PBR's. That's the last thing the Hipster remembered, as he awoke on the living room floor of the crummy efficiency apartment that he shared with his Goth girlfriend, who happened to be standing over him, with a disgusted look on her face. Should he tell her about the Rednecks who bullied him? No, although he had no reason to expect that he could keep any semblance of dignity as he was lying in a puddle of his own urine, in a pile of 24 PBR cans....the Rednecks must have taken him home.... As he dizzily stood, he seemed to hear, over the cottonheaded hangover, how pathetic he was, how his Goth girlfriend ever managed to put up with him, etc..... It did not matter...he knew and accepted the situation, and slowly made his way to the kitchenette, where he promptly made himself a tofu and bean sprout sandwich on gluten-free bread, which he washed down with a can of cold PBR from the refrigerator. The irony was not lost on him - in fact, he reveled in it.... ENDE.
Norman awoke from a pleasant dream to the sound of his neighbors making love. Knowing he wouldn’t sleep until they finished, Norman trudged in the dark to his living room, stepping once on Norman’s tail. Norman howled. Norman made his way to the tattered La-Z-Boy and settled in, clapping twice. The lamplight hurt Norman’s eyes, at first, but they always adjusted eventually.
After a few minutes, Norman could make out the shapes and colors of the jigsaw pieces covering the card table in front of him. Such a pretty picture, and he had left it nearly finished. He set to work, humming quietly over the sounds from upstairs. (He’d been having such a pleasant dream.) Norman loved that snappy feeling of the very last piece. He preferred to save it for the middle.
When at last every loose piece was in place, Norman frowned at the hole in the middle of his puzzle, which was a picture of birds. Norman looked on the floor and checked the pockets of his bathrobe. Maybe Norman had hidden the missing piece under the refrigerator. There really is no telling, Norman thought. He sighed as he stood, sweeping the birds back into their box. Norman was careful not to lose any pieces. When he returned to bed, it was quiet.
~2 Years Ago~
~Home of Sanoh “Poog”, Reno, NV~
Sanoh, everyone calls her Poog, opens her refrigerator for the third time shaking her head. One of the dozens of post-it notes littering the door loses its sticky grasp, slowly gliding toward oblivion under the fridge. “Oh here it is,” she rattled, pulling an iron from the refrigerator with plump hands. “No, no that’s not it…what was I looking for again?” she implored the growing clowder. Her feline flock lovingly brush against her legs motors running with beseeching mews of hunger and impatience. Dander floats in broken sunlight like a dandelion on a spring breeze.
In a stroke of clarity Poog reaches for the dishwasher, opens the door and inspects the top drawer. Dim sunlight breaks through the cracks of the rumpled curtain to mix with tainted yellow fluorescence. She pulls the can opener from the drawer and replaces it with the iron between a toaster and a cup with what appears to be a pelt of black and green fuzz.
Cans of cat food and tuna fish line the counter alongside several plates and bowls. “Yes, you are hungry aren’t you dearies,” Poog consoles as she opens a can of cat food. The whirring motor of the can opener triggers a stampede of the remaining cats; tails in the air, whining petulantly. The Korat however, remains motionless upon his red velvet pillow; his silver tail coiled beneath him. Only slightly visible is the movement of his penetrating emerald eyes trailing in the direction of the ruckus. He is Poog’s most beloved companion, Mār. His shimmering silver coat outlines his thin yet muscular frame. He is an emperor surveying his kingdom. All others are mere peasants in the presence of his glorious shadow, or at least that’s his opinion.
Poog places a heaping spoon of cat food between two slices of bread, takes a bite, and spoons the remaining onto a plate. While finishing her sandwich she opens the remaining cans mixing cat food and tuna periodically. After placing the bowls and plates among the seemingly famished felines, Poog fills one last bowl with tuna. This has been her routine for the past 10 years, since the emerald eyed master came to lord over the kingdom that once was Poog’s. Lately though Mār has not felt well; losing a great deal of his muscle weight. He now lies on the pillow rather than regally perching. Poog has been feeling less active as well. At 90 years of age it’s a little harder to get around and at times even more difficult to remember where that damn toaster is, or was it the broom, anyhow...
Most of Poog’s money goes to her clan of cats. Only the best food and plenty of treats, which is obvious by the size of a few of them. 15 pound cats are not all that common but in Poog’s house less than 10 pounds is a sign of sickness. The only exception is that of her beloved, Mār. While Poog works to feed the near dozen other feline friends the silver godlike emperor remains atop his perch on his special red velvet pillow.
With the clowder satiated for the moment she collects the glass bowl filled with tuna and turns to walk to the living room where his royal highness waits, just slightly annoyed. “Mār”, pronouncing it as if saying man…“I have your special meal coming dear”. As she takes a step from the counter a loop from her stained and tattered nightgown snags a knob causing her to jerk to one side. Lucky for Poog, she drops the bowl on the counter only spilling a few drops of the pungent juices to the floor. Unscathed however she is not; her knee slams against the cabinet with a hollow thud.
“Shit!” Poog groaned, leaning against the cabinet, shifting her weight to the other leg and rubbing the quickly darkening knee. Slowly regaining her footing she releases her gown from the grasp of the murderous drawer and once more collects the aromatic feast for her beloved emperor.
Poog’s now shaky foot plops on the tail of a corpulent Siamese. With more surprise than pain the cat emits a shriek mixed with a growl that not only sends chills up the spine but also sends the terrified snackers scrambling for safety, wherever that may be. Displaying the grace of an epileptic at a rave poor little Poog hops to her other foot, which is supported by her now purple knee. Grimacing in pain she shifts her weight back to the other leg. As if living in some sick twisted dark slapstick comedy her foot slips with a squeak smearing the pungent fish oil. In a final attempt to catch her balance Poog drops the bowl and its delicious fishy goodness with a crash. Arms flailing and the slimy fish covered shards scatter in every direction she continues toward the ground. One particularly sharp shard which came to rest in the mound of wet oily fish, ominously points to the heavens.
Time seems to almost stop as Poog watches the pile of fish come ever closer. Unable to stop her decent she turns her head just before slapping the hard concrete floor; the fish laced shard lodging just a couple inches below her right ear causing a sudden and forceful burst of crimson to erupt from the broken and confused woman. Quickly decreasing bursts of thick sticky life force swirl with fish and begin pooling around her motionless body.
As her pupils begin to contract, for what is surely the last time, her beloved Korat leaps to the ground, meanders to the edge of the thick pooling blood, stops short and crouches slightly. With uncanny speed and agility he leaps, landing upon the back of the one person in this horrible world that loves him almost as much as he loves himself. Let’s be honest, no one could love him as much as he loves himself, but she did her best. Purring, the beloved companion gently rubs his face along her neck then slides his course tongue across her neck to her ear. As a final gurgle bubbles pink foam from her nose and mouth, Poog’s most cherished friend bites deep into her still warm and twitching cheek.
So my buddy didn't have any drops in his apartment, and I couldn't go home with those toasty [8] eyes, so I decided to head down to the nearest gas station to buy some. Keep in mind that this gas station is about 8x20 feet without shelves/drink refrigerators. I roll in, get out of the car and into the tiny store. The first thing to meet my eyes was a group of three kids who looked about 15, all with longboards. Since they were at the register I decided to go behind them and look for some tasty drank. I noticed the kids had left and decided that I didn't have money for drops and drank ;-; so I turned around, and boom, cop right in front of me. I was a bit to the left of him and he wasn't facing me, so when I noticed his gun and uniform, the clerk probably saw the internal panic happening in my head. For a brief moment, I considered just walking out the door, but I realized that would look suspicious, and I still needed those drops. At this point, I still didn't even have them drippies cause they're up front right by the clerk
"Hey, how can I help you?" he asked in a friendly voice. He knew god damn well what I needed.
"I'm just going to get some drops" I responded as I was reaching for them on the shelf. When I grabbed the drops, I accidentally knocked over other drops as well as various other things. Trying to catch the falling things only made me knock more stuff off, as the store clerk picked up ones off the ground. I continually apologize as I'm still picking stuff up, and he continues to say,
"It's ok, bud" in that still friendly voice. I could feel the cops eyes staring into the back of my head. At this point it was just the three of us is that tight little space. A song was playing over some speaker, Ain't No Rest For The Wicked, and in an attempt to keep my cool, I told him,
"This is a great song, man" to which he said
"Hell yeah, it is, bud" That's like the fifth time he's called me bud... I thought to myself. After I finished paying and everything, the clerk said
"Alright, thank you guys." 'Guys?' I thought. That was weird. As I exited the door, his final exclamation was:
"Have a good day you guys" He said it again. While walking to my car, my brain went off, thinking that by his implication of guys (me and the cop) that the cop would follow and pull me over, which he didn't, yet it still made me extremely paranoid. Sorry if this was so long, it was just an interesting/scary thing that happened the other day.
Don't Ice Cakes that are even remotely warm. Let them sit, cool, or even put them in the refrigerator overnight. Same goes for Cookies.
Edit: Bonus tips
Freeze your M&Ms before using them in baking so they don't melt or bleed.
The condo also has: -Big kitchen, dishwasher , double door refrigerator -Floor to ceiling windows -Large bedrooms -Bathrooms with marble and custom tile -Carpet floors -In unit washer and dryer -24 hour doorman and fitness center -Business center / Library -Outdoor lap pool on the 56th floor (indoor jacuzzi) -(2)Onsite grocery stores -Outdoor tennis courts -Onsite Dry Cleaners -(Free Parking Spot Included) If Needed
-Available January
Rent is $1325.00 Per Month+ a security Deposit of $1325.00 upon move-in $500.00 Move- In Fee Utilities range between $60-70 Per Person Fully Furnished Condo
Refrigerator water filters, air filters, mask filters, car filters, oil filters. From what I've seen of them they are just paper-like material with a unique design to help filter why are they anywhere from $30-hundreds of dollars.
Let me begin by saying that this story was the impetus for creating an account. I am also new to fatherhood and our first child is about a year and a half. There is quite a bit to learn when it comes to caring for what amounts to a consistently intoxicated midget. Dinner is typically uneventful, amusing even. Things proceed normally as I grab his milk cup out of the refrigerator. Here lies the genesis of my fuck up. I hand over said cup which had a lid to Creature (my son), and he sucks it down like he's in on the brink of death by dehydration. He finishes up, and raises his arms wanting out of his highchair. I begin to clean up, and pop the lid off the milk cup. Out of nowhere an unholy stench wafts from the inside of the cup. Fuuuuuuck me. At this point I think "The milk must have just begin to turn. He did chug it down without issue. No adverse responses or anything." I step outside and strike up a conversation with the neighbor, and I begin to tell him what happened since he has a few older children. That's about when my wife flies out of the back door screaming "GET THE DOG!!! THE BOY (name redacted due to fear of my wife) JUST BARFED EVERYWHERE, AND THE DOG WON'T QUIT EATING IT!" I proceed inside to assess the damage, and am immediately struck with the aforementioned "unholy" stench combined with the scent of vomit. following this, a puke drenched toddle is shoved in my face, with orders to cleanse him of the odoriferous defilement that he had anointed himself in. Now mind you, he's is completely unfazed. Meanwhile I am fighting the urge to vomit myself. We're midway through the bath, and I hear my wife commenting on the unnaturally awful smell. She then says "He must be allergic to the Cheez-its I was feeding him." To which I replied "Yeah, I guess so. No more Cheez-its for you buddy!" I have, in my own cowardly fear of my wife's swift retribution, denied my son the opportunity to revel in the joy that can be snacking on those orange little crackers until what could be his adult life... When I tell this story at his wedding one day, I prey that he will forgive me for that which has been denied to him. Hopefully there is some sort of statute of limitations on this sort of thing keeping my wife from kicking my ass on said day.
Link to site Here You can click past pay wall.
The following items were selected from reports made to the Island County Sheriff’s Office and the Oak Harbor Police Department:
Friday, Jan. 3
At 12:31 a.m., a San Juan Avenue resident reported that a woman moved into his home without his knowledge or permission. He said his unwanted roommate now wouldn’t let him in the residence.
Sunday, Jan. 5
At 8:55 p.m., a caller on Riepma Avenue said he was watching “a disc in the sky spinning and changing colors.” The man said “it looks like it’s about a thousand miles away” and that the sheriff’s office was welcome to look through his telescope. The dispatcher noted that the man was screaming and was very excited.
Friday, Feb. 14
At 7:21 p.m., a Kodiak Avenue resident reported that someone stuffed a dead chicken in the mailbox.
Saturday, Feb. 15
At 9:15 p.m., a Northeast Seventh Avenue resident reported she was being stalked via radioactive waves that bounce off her television and phone. Her stomach made noise when the refrigerator clicks on.
Thursday, Feb. 20
At 9:46 a.m., a resident of Dead Goat Road reported that a man showed up at the door with a machete. The man claimed that his son was in danger and that time travelers may take him.
Friday, March 7
At 11:14 a.m., a Devries Road resident reported receiving a suspicious email from someone claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint in the Philippines. The message was not grammatically correct.
At 1:44 p.m., a caller reported a suspicious compound on Bonnie Lane. The residence is home to “exotic wild animals” and has some sort of underground system. The caller said there will be children in the yard and they will suddenly disappear.
Monday, March 10
At 1:01 a.m., a Wintergreen Drive resident reported that his son was being a “smart mouth” then went outside and started howling like a coyote.
Wednesday, March 12
At 1:43 p.m., a caller at a real estate business reported that a man came into the building and said he’s a prophet on Camano Island and God told him no “A boards” are allowed.
Monday, March 19
At 1:58 p.m., a Northwest Crosby Avenue resident called 911 repeatedly to complain that she was in the Whidbey News-Times police blotter for calling 911 repeatedly. She also said she got a call from Christ and that someone had been taking pages from her phone book.
Saturday, March 22
At 12:16 p.m., a Scenic Avenue resident reported that her cat returned home with a shaved stomach and appears to have undergone some sort of surgery.
At 12:51 p.m., a caller reported that he’s trying to contact ex-president Jimmy Carter. He believes Carter used to live in the Coupeville area and he needs to get an emergency message to him. The caller said he’s “almost a relative.”
Saturday, April 5
At 6:52 a.m., a Harold Street resident reported that there was a squirrel in his back yard walking in circles. The man said he was afraid to go and help the critter because someone would videotape him and post it on Youtube.
Thursday, April 17
At 3:16 p.m., a Puget Sound Lane resident reported receiving a tray of tainted cookies from the neighbors during the holidays. The caller was sick for days after eating them.
Sunday, April 20
At 6:03 p.m., a Puget Sound Lane resident reported that kids were “stalking” her on Facebook. She also complained that no deputies contacted her about the poison cookies.
Tuesday, April 22
At 1:36 p.m., a Wilson Road resident reported that her house and counters have been “cyanided.”
Sunday, April 27
At 2:02 p.m., a caller who said he’s “the most powerful man in the world” said everyone needs to quit demonizing the LA Clippers.
Monday, April 28
At 6:50 p.m., a man claiming to be the king of Monaco reported that he had a message about a serial killer out of Australia.
Saturday, May 3
At 4:45 p.m., a man on Pioneer Way reported that he was a general and the king of Monaco. He said he was sent to a downtown bar to find out who the “rats” are. He said the bartenders are horrible and have refused him service and he is OK with that.
Wednesday, May 14
At 2:22 a.m., a West Beach Road resident reported that her caregiver is really “a male in a wet suit.”
Thursday, May 29
At 10:17 a.m., there was a third-hand report that a man claimed that local law enforcement was involved in thefts, the killing of cats and words written in blood on walls.
Tuesday, June 24
At 5 a.m. a West Beach Road resident called to say she didn’t want anything to do with the person of interest that was seen on television the day before.
Thursday, June 26
At 10:57 a.m. a Hodges Avenue resident reported that a crash occurred with guns and shooting happening somewhere in New York. The caller said 15 minutes previously he had a premonition and heard “some kid is going to die” from the TV.
Tuesday, July 15
At 11:16 p.m., a Northeast Harvest Drive resident reported that a person who had been going door to door and refused to leave for a while came back and threw a milkshake at the house.
Tuesday, July 22
At 9:20 p.m., a homeless man on Erie Street asked how to get into the Witness Protection Program.
Saturday, July 26
At 8:23 a.m., a Grateful Acre Place resident reported his concerns about a neighbor who believes that the Dutch Mafia and the county prosecutor work for him.
Sunday, July 27
At 9:13 p.m., a Harns Road resident reported that a suspicious, shirtless man drove up his driveway and took off when he saw him. The resident followed the man and spoke with him. The man said that someone was transmitting on antennas into his TV and messing with his head.
Monday, Aug. 18
At 6 p.m., State Highway 20 residents reported that a redheaded man was sitting on their porch, eating food and sipping coffee. The man refused to leave.
Monday, Aug. 18
At 12:19 p.m., a Big Harvs Lane resident wanted to know how to get her 22-year-old son to move out.
Saturday, Sept. 6
At 2:49 p.m., a caller reported that a shirtless man on Monkey Hill Road was holding a sign to passing Tour de Whidbey bicyclists that read, “Show me your boobs.” A deputy investigated and found the sign in the man’s yard but didn’t see evidence of a crime. There was no indication of whether any bicyclists took him up on the offer.
Saturday, Sept. 20
At 4:04 p.m., a Southwest Kimball Drive resident reported that she had a “certificate of authenticity” from a mental hospital.
Tuesday, Sept. 30
At 12 p.m., a caller reported that a Meridian Street resident was barbecuing in his backyard without clothes on.
Friday, Oct. 31
At 3:43 p.m., a caller at a State Highway 20 business reported that a short, red-headed woman was “ranting and yelling” about the devil.
Thursday, Nov. 6
At 8:34 p.m., a woman reported that she was being chased by her daughter on Southwest Mulligan. The woman said her daughter wants her pain medication.
Friday, Nov. 7
At 7:43 p.m., a Northeast Seventh Avenue resident reported being harassed electronically. The caller said she covered all the red beans in the apartment, which seemed to “solve some problems.”
Monday, Nov. 24
At 6:59 p.m., a caller reported that community picnic tables at Rolling Hills were vandalized. Someone spread dog feces all over them.
Tuesday, Nov. 25
At 6:13 a.m., a Nubian Way resident reported that people were shooting him with gamma rays and shocking his testicles.
Thursday, Nov. 27
At 4:15 a.m., a caller at Whidbey General Hospital reported that a suspicious short women was acting strange. She kept going in and out of the hospital and talking in “roundabout sentences.”
Sunday, Nov. 30
At 4:44 p.m., a caller reported that “the chief of police needs to resign immediately.” The man called several more times to ask about the chief, report a security breach and to tell the dispatcher not to wake him up.
Monday, Dec. 1
At 7:51 p.m., a caller reported that a woman trying to put gas into her car at a State Highway 20 business was yelling at her “invisible friends.”
I have been reading this book and it is my first read from Cormac McCarthy. One thing has been bothering me almost to the point of abandoning the book and that is the excessive use of the word "and."
If you've read this book then you'll probably know what I mean. Every third or fourth sentence has around five or six "and's." Here's a non-spoiler example from the page I'm on at the minute:
"He drank and set the half-empty can on the counter and shut the refrigerator door and walked through the diningroom and into the livingroom and sat in an easy chair in the corner and looked out at the street."
This sounds like a sentence an eight-year-old would write and more examples like it are rife all through the book. Did anyone else find this tough to read? It's shattering the immersion for me and I can't see any reason for it. It occurs regardless of which character's POV we are seeing so it's not meant to signify anything like that as far as I can tell.
Are McCarthy's other books written in this style? If they were I'd hesitate to pick up another one even though I've enjoyed 'No Country' outside of this problem. It seems trivial but it's honestly been really irritating when reading this book.
Hi All,
My LG two-door/freezer drawer fridge is about 2 years old and has worked perfectly. But in the last 24 hours its making this loud vibrating sound. When you open the door the sound gets louder.
We moved it, to make sure it wasn't up against the wall or cabinet. Turned the ice machine on and off, still makes the sound.
Its not constant, it only happens for a few minutes (10-20) at a time every 10-15 minutes.
Any ideas?
Thanks!
We just arrived from the grocery with my cousins to prepare for the New Year. My aunt told us to get all the things we shopped from the car and take it to the refrigerator (as what I've heard). I then tried to open the fridge but it was almost full, I had not opened the lights and just tried to check open spaces. I tried to open the upper part, but some of the magnetic toys seemed loose, well I opened it up fully and one of the toys knocked down and it broke in half. My cousin heard it, and he then tells me "You broke the magnetic toy from the fridge, you idiot just place it on the table". My aunt heard a bit of it and asked what happened but my cousin says nothing. I'm a bit clumsy for a young adult.
So I tried to hide it, and asked one of my other cousins for super glue. He doesn't have so I just hid the broken toy in my wallet. Seemed fine until an hour later. I thought she will never think of that toy. My aunt then shouts where ' that magnetic toy from the fridge? That's from London. Well my jackass cousin outs me for doing this and then tells her I broke it. She then shouts at me real bad. Really fucked up new years eve.
TL, DR': Accidentally broke a magnetic toy from the fridge after trying to find a spot for the groceries in the fridge. I tried to hide the evidence, but I was busted.
If anyone needs a trigger warning, this post is going to contain stuff about psychological and physical abuse, alcoholism, suicide, codependency and depression. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this, it's terribly long.
Background- I am a 29 year old woman, American, former biologist and current high school science teacher. I dance ballet professionally on the side and I also teach ballet. I left my ex-husband about 8 months ago. He is 39, Japanese (immigrated to the US 16 years ago), and a chemistry professor. He was diagnosed as a sociopath by a mental health care professional this past summer. He is also an alcoholic (although not self-diagnosed, of course) and drinks roughly 1.5-2 liters of sake per day. He received permanent residency through our marriage, but due to the newer laws, the first green card lasts for only 2 years. Immigration services is currently investigating my claims of abuse and he will lose his status in early February. If they decide my proof of his abuse is sufficient, he will be deported. I have already been absolved of my status as his petitioner.
Family background- My parents have been married more than 30 years and they taught me that marriage can be hard work, but it's worth it when both people try their best. They taught me that love is not a fairy tale, but something that needs to be worked on, cared for. My mother was also a bit physically abusive to me when I was about 10-14. She would drag me around the house by my hair, throw pans at me, shove me up against the wall and lightly choke me. My brother witnessed it and we both told my dad years later because he was rarely home, usually working in Europe. She denies all of this, and will only vaguely acknowledge it with "I raised you with tough love to make you a strong woman". She actually gives herself credit for my ability to leave my ex. My maternal grandparents were Russians with serious mental issues and that has affected my mom and now my brother and I in ways that would take two months to fully explain. I love my dad dearly and have a really good relationship with him, but sometimes he enables my mother. I think he just doesn't know what else to do.
I have been in two relationships, the first one was 4.5 years of long distance puppy love that ended very nicely because we simply outgrew each other and became more like friends.
My ex-husband was my second relationship. I thought it was the real deal. I met him near the end of grad school when I was 24, and we got married when I was 26. I thought he was amazing and that I was the luckiest girl in the world. My family and friends all adored him.
Looking back, my parents and I remember some random and sort of mean comments he would rarely make, but hindsight is 20/20, of course. About 3 months into the marriage, my "perfect" SO began to change. First, he became very critical of me. I thought nothing of it at the time, because he would critique things about me that were honestly subpar. So I was ok with it. I'm pretty good with criticism.
Over time, it became less and less constructive, more and more petty. I told my mom about a few of my ex's comments and she began to get upset. So I stopped telling her things. I didn't want her to be angry at him. When she got angry at him, she would call him out. When she called him out, he would leave and not want to spend time visiting my parents (they moved several states away), so then I got less time with them, too. And I took my parents' marriage advice to heart and wanted to work on it, between the two of us.
I became depressed. I'd never been depressed before, so at first, I didn't even know what it was. I just thought I was tired. I began forgetting things. Little things like putting food back in the refrigerator, or combing my hair. Stuff I never forgot, before. I was going to go back to school to get my PhD when I met him (I have a MS) and he told me I wouldn't be able to handle it. I was the top student in my department (biology/biochem) and published and presented first author work during grad school. But he somehow convinced me I couldn't do it again in a PhD program. Then I began working. I had to leave a job for health reasons (I was highly allergic to the concentrated bleach solution used in the lab and I was sent to the ER twice), but I left on good terms and got another job through a connection there. Over time, he convinced me that I couldn't hold down a job at all. My next job (teaching) was part time and he said if I wanted to become a "top" scientist like him and get back into school, I needed to do research, so he had me volunteer in a lab at the same university where he worked/I got my MS.
After our first year of marriage, things took a nosedive. Soon, he stopped talking to me unless he absolutely had to. He wouldn't talk to me for months at a time. Sex? Only when he wanted it and at that point, I would be so starved for attention that I would happily oblige. He would do nothing to please me and, for the first time, I began fantasizing about random men I didn't know so that I could get through it. General kindness or affection? Forget it. He was always angry. He packed a suitcase and left it next to the bed in case "he couldn't take it anymore" and then he would leave for 2-3 days at a time, phone would be off and I had no idea where he was. He told me that his "type" of woman was my exact physical opposite and there were two women working in his lab who fit the description. A drastic change from earlier, when he'd talk about how I was so "out of his league" in looks and he felt insecure about it. He began doing poorly at his job. He began drinking more and more. He stopped sleeping. He refused to eat any of my cooking and would wait until I fell asleep to cook for himself. Then, he stopped eating at all for days at a time. He lost weight and went down to 120 pounds. He got sick all the time and blamed me. He stopped buying food for us. I started getting injuries in ballet because I was hungry often and losing weight/muscle. My friends/labmates began giving me their food and it was embarrassing. He told me there was something wrong with me and told me to get a physical. Everything came back normal. Then he said this was the "real me" and I was not the woman he married, I just let the real me come out after I got comfortable in the marriage. He said I never listened to him and I stressed him out to make him drink and do poorly at work. He claimed to be suicidal after his father disowned him and he had 3 Japanese suicide instruction manuals. He began leaving them out next to his hand when he passed out on the couch, so I'd find them in the morning. He said I was ruining his life.
Things became physical. He would throw things, like his wedding ring, or full wine bottles in my general direction.
His family- he came to the US in his early 20s and fed everyone with this terrible tale about his family. He said his dad was a raging, alcoholic abuser who beat his wife and children. He said his mother was a completely silent and obedient pushover. He said he was disowned by his father for choosing to be a chemist and not a physician. He said his sister was physically/mentally ill and trapped working for their father and she had no friends and lived in the basement. Basically, he played up every bullshit Asian/immigrant/traditional family stereotype you can think of. And we all believed him because we had no choice otherwise. He told the same long and dramatic story for the 16 years he has been here. I contacted people he's known for that long and they've all confirmed that the details of the story are identical.
I found his sister online and began speaking to her a few months ago. This whole story of his is a lie. His parents are actually very sweet people and his dad is kind of adorable. They all miss him dearly. He basically cut them off when he came to the US. They tried to reach him for years and finally stopped because he threatened to kill himself if they continued. She said they all know he has mental issues. They have been nothing but kind to me and they apologized to me and my family, sent us gifts and are just generally good people. And if facebook is any indication, my sister (yes, we decided we are, in fact, sisters) is happy, healthy, hangs out with her parents all the time and takes them on vacations, has a job she loves, lives on her own, and has about 438094353 friends from many countries. I told his other American friends about this and everyone is horrified at how great of a liar he is and how long he has kept up the same story.
Then in January 2014, we got a notice from the university that he was going to lose his job in May, a year before he was up for tenure. This is highly unusual and you really have to fuck up for this to happen. We freaked out. We needed to make a certain amount of money to keep him in the country. I immediately began applying for jobs. I knew in my heart that I wanted to teach, but I applied for anything that made more than the poverty line. I didn't tell him because I knew he wanted me to stay in the lab. He appealed to the dean and got to stay for this current academic year (14-15). He was told he needed to publish at least one paper and get one grant in order to get tenure. As of this week, he has done neither. He will probably be fired in May 2015, if he isn't deported, or doesn't get a H1-B visa, first.
In May, I had 3 interviews for the job I currently have. I told him two days before the 3rd interview, when I was feeling pretty confident about it. The third interview was a 90 minute mock lecture in front of the administration and the top senior students. I was making my presentation the day I told him. He flipped out. He began guzzling from a bottle of sake and then went into the kitchen, saying his wife hated him and never listened to him. Then he took a knife and began swiping at his torso. My stupid ass jumped out of my chair and tried to get the knife away from him. After a few minutes of struggling, he let me have the knife and passed out on the floor. I sat on the couch for about 16 hours, in a stupor. I was filled with fear, guilt and sadness. I didn't even get up to use the bathroom. The next day, a couple hours after he left for work without a word, I was able to move. I went to the bathroom, tried to eat and I called my parents.
My dad sent him a long and heartfelt email, saying we were all in this together, they love him, we should all talk to a professional, he will get through this at work, etc.
He sent a reply, saying that it was all my fault and I drove him to this. And that the suicide attempt was fake and planned out in advance. He dulled the knife on the back of a bowl when I wasn't looking. And that he was going to tell me how he taught me a lesson in a few years because things were "great" now, and I was listening to him. Naturally, my parents were outraged and called me right away to tell me about the email.
He rushed home to try and talk to me, first, but my mom had already contacted me. He began comforting me and said he would never do it again. He finally said he would go to a therapist (I had been begging him for months). He made a lot of promises. I stayed for another 8 days. I tried to pretend that everything was normal. We had sex and I tried to enjoy it, but I cried quietly in the dark. I couldn't even sleep next to him because I was scared of him and my gut was telling me to get out.
My parents flew out to visit me (and get me out of there). I went to see them for a couple days and I begged him to come with me, so he could explain things to them and repair the relationship. He refused and said he would never speak to them again. After being way for a couple of days, I was able to clear my head a little bit. I asked my parents to help me get out. My mom made some calls and by the time we got there, half my friends were there with their trucks and two of my friends took me in and let me stay, rent-free until my new job started in August. I am still with them and we're all moving in February. About three weeks later, I sent him an email, asking him for a divorce.
The following months were indescribable.
The good...
Got into therapy immediately with a half-Japanese, half-American lady with an alcoholic father, who really gets it.
Learned that I am slightly codependent and that's a big part of the reason I got caught up in this.
Started going to AlAnon and CodA. Made new friends who have helped me a lot.
Started meditating to help with my anxiety attacks and vaguely PTSD-like issues. I haven't had an anxiety attack since October.
Reached out to my social circles at my jobs at the high school and the ballet studio and I have been flooded with kindness and help.
Rebuilt old bridges with former employers and friends who I cut off because of my ex.
Slowly but surely fixed my eating and sleeping habits after a lot of trial and error.
Got an STD test and I'm clean.
Got a physical and my blood pressure is still high but I'm ok.
Started cooking Japanese food again without ruining it or flying into hysterics (this was a big deal for me, actually).
Doing really well at my new job and I'm absolutely loving it.
Starting school next fall for a MEd and the school is paying 90% of my tuition.
Learned and read a lot about the psychology behind alcoholism, sociopaths, codependency and abuse.
Learned how to forgive and take better care of myself, and how to put myself first.
The bad...
Broke my toe due to a stress fracture in my foot because of malnutrition and stress. Had to take a 6 month break from performing and pointe shoes. After 2 months of physical therapy,I'm starting to wear pointe shoes, again.
Lost so much weight (I was already tiny) and got so stressed that I missed my period for four months.
Attempted to die/at least get some rest by banging my head on the side of a bathtub one night. That was my rock bottom. My friend has a book about Grumpy cat and it sits near the toilet. I saw it and began reading it. I laughed and got distracted for 30 minutes. Thanks, Grumpy Cat.
I have become intensely familiar with the concept of victim-blaming. I will never, ever, EVER blame a victim, even indirectly or accidentally. Ever again. I am now acutely aware of these things, as you might imagine. I get it, now. Really, I get it. Sweet Jesus.
All of this has really opened up some wounds with my parents, especially my mom. They wanted me to drop everything and move in with them, several states away, to a place I've been at for a week. I had to go against them for the first time in my life. Things are slowly improving, but they are very passive aggressive. I know they're just scared for me and don't want him to find me. They think since soon he will have nothing left (no job, no family/friends, has to go back to a country he hates, etc.) that he is going to kill himself and try to take me with him. He has said and done some pretty unstable stuff, so it's on the list of possibilities.
Speaking of that, he knows where I work and showed up in the parking lot in July. He wouldn't let me in my car for awhile and finally relented when parents came out.
Overall, I am feeling like a wiser and stronger version of myself. But some moments are still extremely difficult. My attorney says that the divorce will be final in February. Everything is happening in February, I swear, haha. It's gonna be a wild month.
Here is where I need some advice (but feel free to give me advice on any other part of this crazy story because I am an information sponge right now). I started dating 3 months ago. In particular, I met a 32 year old guy. Things were going really well and progressing and I thought we were going to be a couple. We were planning trips and his behavior/actions showed me he wanted to commit. Then, about a week ago, he decided to... not contact me for a week out of nowhere. Only to return and tell me that he has too many lingering issues with women. Apparently, he was burned badly by a horrible ex (who was also Japanese... HA) and he still sort of hates women, in general. His family even called him out on it. We've been talking about it. I saw some other warning signs, like him not really wanting to leave his place very much, wavering between getting really close and then really distant, he told me that things with me were "perfect" and no one has accepted him like I have, but he is waiting for the other shoe to drop, wanting something to go wrong so he can break it off. He finally said he would be doing me a favor by ending it even though he says he already regrets it.
Here's my problem. This experience has taught me that I'm affection-starved, love-starved, whatever you want to call it. I found myself feeling huge waves of neediness and the desire for physical contact all the time. I hid this and didn't express it. But I felt it and when I would go home again I would have a meltdown. Then I would regain control of myself. I need love. But this isn't good. He doesn't know about any of this. I need to figure out how to satisfy this need in a healthy way, because I wasn't like this, before. I have been trying to find information on this and I'm having a hard time.
I am also having another issue with dating and interacting with American men, in general. This is going to sound incredibly odd, but my ex basically trained me like a dog. I have become a very submissive and quiet person, especially with new people. It's to the point where American men don't like it and have mentioned it several times. It's too much. I am working to get my "voice" back, so to speak. It makes dating awkward, sometimes. Several people familiar with Japanese and American culture have described me as "an incredibly meek Japanese woman trapped in a White American woman's body". One guy I went out with even told me he was happy when I slightly cut in front of him to get to the car. It's improving now that I'm aware of the problem, but it's still pretty bad.
I also think that a small part of me is afraid of men, now. I tell myself I'm not and that I like them. But I can feel that lump in my throat and the walking on eggshells feeling creeping up when I start talking to a man I've just met, and he does nothing to make this happen. It's all in my head. Can anyone help me with this?
Anyone who has been through this or knows of any sources where I can learn more... please let me know. I would be very grateful. I'm in major problem-solving mode and rebuilding myself and my life. I just want to get better and be a happy and healthy adult. Thanks for reading this, if you made it all the way to the end. I haven't been on reddit since April, but I used to post here, sometimes. I love you guys.
tl;dr: Still dealing with mental/emotional issues after leaving a marriage with an alcoholic sociopath. Help, please!
Scotch eggs.
Ingredients:
1lb sausage meat (pork). 5 hard boiled eggs (shells removed). 1 large raw egg. 3oz (approx) of dry breadcrumbs. Pinch of mace, salt and freshly ground pepper. Small quantity of flour. 1 tablespoon water.
Method:
Dust the hard boiled eggs in a little flour. Mix the mace, salt and pepper with the sausage meat and divide into five equal portions. Place on a floured surface. Wrap/mould the sausage meat round the egg, making sure there are no gaps. Beat the raw egg and water together and coat the meat-covered egg. Roll/pour on the breadcrumbs (you may have to press the crumbs onto the meat).
Deep fry in hot oil (360F/185C), taking care as you put the eggs into the oil. Cook for about 5/6 minutes. If you don't have a deep fat fryer, they can be cooked in oil in a frying pan, turning frequently to ensure the meat is fully cooked.
Drain and serve hot, or allow to cool and keep in a refrigerator - for a cold snack later.
Enjoy.
Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-12-30
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions | Answers |
---|---|
What was it like growing up in that situation? Did you have access to the lab, or was it in, say, a shed outside the house? We're there ever any instances in which the chemicals (and fumes) involved in production were vented through the house? | It was ... weird. It was in the basement so fumes were a constant problem ,it smells like cat piss ,burnt wires, and matches. And no we weren't allowed to go into the basement. |
My dad's girlfriends were one of the worst problems constant fighting (like the kind where guns and knives were pulled) I learned to lie to the police when and ask for a warrant when I was 10. And there were constantly people at my house. | |
But the thing about meth heads is that they always had shit to trade (xbox, ps2, motorcycles ,guitars. ..ext)so we always had fun shit in the house! | |
The worst part was that there was never any food. My brother and I had to take care of ourselves all our lives . He would cook for me (my big brother ) and hangout in my room when shit went down. We both went to work at 15 (he was 17 when I went to work) just so we could feed ourselves. Hell my brother taught me to read. | |
What situations have you used these skills for? Do you ever use it for professional work? | I have done all kinds of crap. B&E ,gta , legal demolition, illegal sabotage ,homelessness, survival, camping, "shopping ". And yes I use my skills all the time at work. Say someone skipped on their rent but also changed the locks so we don't have a key ,I pick the lock.(locksmiths get expensive when you have to call them every week)and if they still live there and won't take the chain off their door I climb up and open there sliding glass doors (usually overlooked ). |
Have you taken any of those skills learned and applied them to something that's legal? | Oh yes so much crime ! my father and I used "acquire" cars When I was younger.he worked for a tow truck company and that's how I learned to hot wire cars . And also how to deal with people who run chop shops. I used to break into stores to take cigarettes , liquor, electronics ,really anything you can sell out of your car. |
I just realized I misread you question. Yes I have its actually how I got my current job as a maintenance man. | |
How do you hotwire a car. | If you can't start it by beating a screwdriver into the ignition and turning like a key. Take off the panels around the steering column and cut and strip the two red wires for power then twist them together then cut and strip starter wires and touch them together until the car starts. Or you may have to connect the battery wires to the ignition and the touch the starter wire to the others till the car starts. Easy peasy. |
Is lock picking worth learning? Actually, better question: do you have any unusual skills that you would most recommend the average person learn? | Yes it is worth learning I left my keys at home today and had to pick the lock when I got home 20 min ago lol. As for unusual skills not really , learn to lie and learn to fix things. I guess I don't know what you mean buy unusual . I mean I can make water filters out of scrap, I can build electric generators from scrarch. I'm a pretty good handyman so yeah. |
Where would one learn to pick a locker other than video's on YouTube. Any recommendations? Perhaps find a lock picker to practice with? | Any locksmith anywhere. That is probably the best way to learn and if you get along with the locksmith well enough he may just give you a job. |
Quality point, that. I guess I meant like most people can tie their shoes, probably fewer can pick locks or make explosives. | Well I can track animals in the woods and that comes in handy when your camping or homeless .I'm really good with a knife ya know throwing and such. If I had to recommend a skill to learn it's how to rewire your stuff,like your house ,cords,stove,refrigerator stuff like that you can save a lot of money lol. |
Awesome advice. Thanks a bunch! Now I just gotta pretend like I locked my keys in my apartment. I'm sure that this approach works much better with women. | Well let's hope. |
How old were you when you moved out of the meth lab? | Well the funny thing is I didnt. When I was 16 my dad moved in with his girlfriend leaving me and my brother in the house so we just kinda took over paying the rent and we lived there until my dad came back and "accidentally" started another lab and burned the house down. |
I love how building the meth lab was the accident, not burning the house down. | Right! |
Have you ever been, or are you currently a meth user? | Oh fuck no I saw what it did to my mom and dad and just never touched the stuff. Except for this one time my dad made coffee with the filters from his lab and I unknowingly drank the coffee on my way to school... the was an interesting day. |
Sorry about your parents but good for you! | It's OK my grandmother is the bomb though . She is the reason I turned out half decent. |
Do you still get any trouble from people who recognize you? From either law enforcement or meth addicts | Oh dear god yes. The law knows me because of my dad and to a lesser extent myself. If I get pulled over in my home town REGARDLESS of what I did to get pulled over my car gets searched. But when meth heads recognize me the always want a few bucks. |
That sucks. I can imagine getting pulled over and searched all the time gets really tiring, and why some people fight the police even when they have done nothing wrong. I kinda feel you should write a book with lots of amusing drawings in it. | Well I am check the title text I posted a pic of a page in my journal! |
Accidentally setting up a meth lab "there I was with some funnels and tube and nothing to do that day so..." | " I don't know officer ,fucking one thing led to another " |
Yeah I guess i meant more comic of situations you have been in, not so much a guide to living. Your journal would be a great book to survival by the sounds of it, in case of zombies or tax evasion. | Yup. |
Any tips on being a better liar, I'm quite terrible I'm told. | Believe what you are saying. Stay relaxed, and be comfortable with your words. Keep the normal amount of eye contact. Keep it simple and it helps to have a friend who will back you up. |
Thank you for this. I'm also a terrible liar. My profession requires me to tell half truth's all the time and it always made me wonder how the hell my boss can keep a straight face with the things that he says. Apparently believing what you say can work. I never really thought about it that way. | Yes sir. |
What do you use pick a lock? Can you do it with a paper clip? | I use the jackknife lock pick set and I love it and yes I can and no its not easy. Link to www.lockpickshop.com |
What if you don't have your lock pick set on you? | I keep it in my wallet. And if I still don't have it I can open a door with a card, thin piece of metal, a shovel...ext. |
I don't know, I'm pretty sure I could open a door with a shovel. | It's no hard. haha. |
Did you ever have any negative health effects from breathing in smoke? I remember hearing that second hand meth smoke is superduper dangerous (obviously, it's meth...) | Some breathing issues and my brain goes funny sometimes but nothing to bad . I don't have the best teeth but that's because my dad wasn't big on buying us tooth paste. ..or toothbrushes. ...or food. |
I'm a sad panda... | Naw it's cool I'm awesome! |
Thanks for the reply! I'm glad you're doing well now! I was thinking about that green dog from that 2000s movie "Spun". No green pets, right?? | I had a silver dollar turtle that I kept in one of those big pickle jars.lol. |
What's the most illegal thing you've done (that you can share)? | I won't tell you the most illegal thing but I did get caught by the police making nitroglycerin. ... and beating a man bloody for...reasons |
Whats your favorite food? | Crab Rangoon and general tso's chicken with fried rice . Or barbecue |
Thanks bbq chicken is a great idea. | Glad to help. |
You're like the edgy, 2014, HBO McGyver | Hahahaha well I don't like to invite that comparison but... Edit . It's an archer reference. |
What is your current source of income? | I'm a maintenance man for an apartment complex in the getto. |
1) Do you do meth? 2) When you do these types of things, is it impulse to get money for drugs? 3) Do you ever steal a car to drive up and pick up a girl in? 4)Have you ever be caught or been to jail? 5) Have you ever been caught and picked the handcuffs to escape the cops? | No. |
No. | |
No. | |
Yes. | |
And I tried. ...once. | |
It used to be always about making money but never for drugs. Never been an addict. | |
Have you seen burn notice? You remind me of Michael Weston. | Naw but a buddy of mine loves that show. |
You seriously need to watch that show. It's pretty solid. | OK sure why not lol. |
I believe that this is a fairly accurate picture of what OP looks like. | HAHAHAHAHA I was drinking something man now I gotta clean my phone. |
Last updated: 2014-12-31 00:50 UTC | Next update: 2014-12-31 01:00 UTC
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