About a month ago I was getting ready for bed and went through my normal routine. My fiancé asked from the other room if I'd feed the dog his last meal, and I obliged. This action interrupted my routine and created the conditions for my FU.
Many years ago I lived in Imperial Beach CA. A lovely beach town, the last true beach town left in SoCal. I fell in love with surfing and rented a house with some friends, right on the beach. Every morning I'd jump out of bed and hit the waves in the most polluted water in North America. This is because of the Tijuana river discharging it's flow into the Pacific, right in good ol' IB. It creates conditions for awesomely consistent and filthy surf. As long as you have current hep vaccines and don't mind the floating turds, s'no biggie.
After leaving IB to attend Uni in the North, I noticed that my surf drip had remained, well...drippy. It's a constant discharge from the nose because of...ocean science stuff I never listened to. It turned into a minor staph infection that came and went with the seasons. Enter my fiancé who is a doctor, she prescribed some stuff in a tube to rid me of the infection that had been bothering me for years. I put it in my nose every night before strapping on the CPAP and going to sleep.
Back to the FU. My routine interrupted, I put on the CPAP mask and turned out the lights, realizing after about ten mins I had forgotten to put in the nose medicine. Not wanting to turn on the lights and wake the SO, I fumbled around the side table and grabbed the tube of cream. I applied a liberal dose, and back on went the mask. My groggy brain then communicated two things; What's that weird smell? and Why is the inside of your nose so hot?
At this point I grabbed my phone to utilize its light and discovered I had coated the inside of my nose with a large amount of capsaicin muscle rub, with extra burn. This was about the time the inside of my nose felt as though it had molten steel being poured into it. I yelped as I rushed to the bathroom to flush it out, but it was too late. Also, water made it worse.
The lovely doctor was woken by my commotion and came out of the bedroom to find me sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the open refrigerator, cramming Greek yogurt into my nose. After explaining the situation she collapsed in laughter, followed by the statement that she couldn't do anything for me, I wasn't already doing for myself, and returned to bed.
After about an hour, the fiery burning of one thousand suns, subsided and I went to bed. The capsaicin tube was moved to the bathroom, and as of today my infection is officially gone.
tl;dr If you put burn cream in the nose, you can snort yogurt for relief.
Submitted February 25, 2015 at 12:32AM by SuicideSquad http://ift.tt/1AH7ZE0 tifu
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