GUYS, I need your help! Please add any tips.
Handy Ebola Survival Guide
1. If someone vomits politely ask THEM to clean it up.
2. If someone asks you to hold their kidney, or other vital organ, again POLITELY, decline and suggest a ice chest.
3. If a close friend dies from Ebola, instead of going to the open casket funeral, opt for sending a lovely bouquet.
4. Don't do tip number four. You will get Ebola.
5. If a family member starts coughing and complaining about "allergies", kindly duct tape them to a chair.
6. Do NOT use any restrooms on Sixth Street. (Pro Life Tip: There are quaint bathrooms tucked within The Driskell that are frequently used by people who know how to use the toilet properly.)
7. If you are out and your server appears unwell, calmly ask for the manager and proceed by telling that the walk-in refrigerator is a spacious and fully stocked quarantine. Remember to be charming and persuasive, by reappearing that this will be "good for business".
8. If you are on the freeway and an ambulance with it's lights on is behind you, always remember to SPEED UP.
9. If you are visiting the Dallas zoo and an animal looks suspicious, it is well within reason to suggest euthanasia. Better safe, than sorry!
10. When at a bar, limit the number of body shots you take to only people who are really hot and funny.
Submitted October 04, 2014 at 12:41AM by MadaSASSgar http://ift.tt/1rab5Z5 funny
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