This is the story all about how my life got twist turned upside down...
I'm just kidding, but hey, if the shoe fits, wear it.
This happened several months ago, and I'm still not over it, so I thought sharing my experience would help me feel better.
About two years ago, I was living in the Midwest and had decided to come back home to the east coast. I packed up all my things, drove the 1300 or so miles, popped my things in storage, and began couch surfing with family and friends.
Being back in my old hometown, I ran into an old female acquaintance. We will call her Cathy. We had gone to school together as kids, and we were friendly, but never friends. Cathy and I hung out a handful of times over the next few months and realized we were in similar positions in life. We were both unhappy with our jobs, we both had gone through a breakup recently, and we were both looking to change our living situations. Eventually we came to the conclusion that we should pool our collective misery, find an apartment together, and be each others cheerleaders. We'd overcome our funks and conquer the world.
Ha.
We were able to find an affordable apartment quickly and so we moved in together. Things were rocky from the get go. It began with little normal issues. Leaving dishes in the sink for weeks, having small parties without giving me a heads up, et cetera. So, after a few months, we had a talk about it. Im not really the confrontational type, and I always do my best to be understanding. I also have enough self awareness to know I can be an annoying person to live with, so I made sure to listen to Cathy and her concerns as well.
After I voiced my complaints, I began to see less and less of Cathy. Almost as if she was avoiding me. If I went out for coffee on a weekend, I'd come back and she'd be gone for the day. If I came home from work early, I'd go to my room and I'd hear her leave her room and go out the front door and be gone for the day. I didn't think anything of it at first, but then weeks turned into months. I basically stopped using the common areas of the apartment and kept to my room when I was there. At this point I was leaving checks on the refrigerator for utilities and bills because I never saw her nor was I able to get in touch with her.
I came to the conclusion that Cathy was an extreme introvert and really didn't like confrontation, and got upset by the airing of grievances, so she decided to avoid me. Despite the awkwardness, we ended up staying in this apartment well past the lease date. Mostly because I was living a very busy lifestyle and would use the apartment just for sleep.
So. Now that you've had some back story, here's the fun part. After our lease ran out, our rental agreement went to a month to month arrangement. Cathy had emailed me asking about my plans for the apartment. Whether I wanted to renegotiate a new lease or find a new place alone. I had just got a new better paying job, so I had been thinking about getting my own place. I told her we should just keep it month to month for now and that I was casually looking for a new apartment.
Well she took that to mean I was moving out for sure, and that meant she could let her new deadbeat boyfriend stay there. Was I thrilled? Nope. But I allowed it because I'm an idiot. Now, I'm not quick to judge people, but Cathy's man was a pain in the ass. Unemployed, but always had money for the cigs he chainsmoked while listening to loud punk rock on our porch. He also would find money for all his brightly colored hair dyes, and ironic t shirts. He wasn't on the lease and wasn't paying rent, so naturally, I got pretty upset. However, I still didn't blow my top, I didn't want to make Cathy upset by kicking her man out.
A few months of this, and they ask me if I had made any progress in finding an apartment. I had really only done a few cursory searches which upset them both. That's when they told me that they were having a baby. She was over four months along and that they needed the apartment. And honestly, I felt really bad for them, but for Cathy in general. Her man had no job, no credit, and was a few months away from fatherhood. She had a decent job, but not so good that it could support her, a baby, and the grown up baby she got knocked up by.
So, being a cf individual, I wanted to run away screaming from that situation. I told them that I'd try and find a new place to live and that I was happy for them. (More like I was happy it wasn't happening to me!)
But the kindness soon dissipated. My new job was paying me well, but not so well that I could afford an apartment on my own. After a few weeks of searching, they began to get impatient. Asking me for updates everyday. Telling me how important it was for me to move so they can have a normal living space for their new family. Telling me how much stress I was causing by my refusal to leave and how bad it was for the baby. How I'd understand when I had a baby. (Ha!) Even having their friends send me listings for shitty studios in even shittier parts of town.
I told them that I was going to leave when I found the right apartment and that I wasn't going to set myself back just because they found it inconvenient that I was living in my own apartment. I also said that if it was causing so much stress, that they should take responsibility for the situation they were in, and find their own apartment.
They did not. Like. That. One. Bit.
They decided to make my life hell. Cathy told all of our mutual hometown friends what a monster I was being. How I was refusing to leave and was verbally abusing them. She went and lied to our building manager and told them she didn't feel safe anymore with me there because I was a drug addict. (Sometimes I smoke pot. Shocker.) She played the preggo card, had her bf confirm her lies about me, but there was still nothing they could do because I was a leaseholder. So now, I'm being attacked on social media, being questioned by my building super, and then herbs has the audacity to threaten me and take a swing at me when I stand my ground.
That's when I had to leave. I knew that i was so angry and fed up that if I hit him I'd do serious damage and it'd be my word against a mombie her dumb basic bitch friends and her shitty man. I know how that story ends up. So I packed my stuff, put it into storage, and abandoned my apartment after a year and a half of awkwardness and stress. I had to go back to living on families couches for a while
It was awful. I was trying to help them and they acted like I was a monster for not just giving them the apartment. I lost friends who heard her and her friends version of the story. Everyday for months, I was treated shitty and told what a bad person I was. I I had never felt the mombie sense of entitlement until this experience and I've had enough of it for a lifetime.
The story does have a happy ending though. This whole ordeal gave me the courage to ask my child free girlfriend to live with me, and for six months, we've been happy as hell. Using our two incomes to decorate our apartment with mid century modern furniture and art instead of having to buy value packs of diapers at sams club. I come home everyday to a home I'm proud of, to a woman who loves me and to a life I'm sure is far far happier than sad ol Cathy.
Thanks for reading my rant. I love this sub.
Submitted February 09, 2017 at 09:36PM by beefsquaaatch http://ift.tt/2lx88I9 childfree
No comments:
Post a Comment