This is the type of fuck-up which makes my wife regret ever procreating with me, but in my defense, it was an honest mistake (aren’t they all). Anyway, onto the story.
As a Type I diabetic who had been experience erratic night-time sugar spikes for the last few months, my doctor required a night-time urine sample last week for some testing. Given no labs are open late at night, he said I could simply store it in the refrigerator as long as I dropped off the sample the next he morning. I successfully (yay for me!) collected a sample in one of those 4 oz., clear sterile specimen containers around 2 AM and stashed it at the back of the “storage” fridge in our garage.
The next morning after my wife dropped the kids at school on the way to work (I work from home), I went about my morning routine as usual. I went to the fridge around 11 to get my sample to drop off at a local lab but it was nowhere to be found. I thought in my late-night daze I might have misplaced it but couldn’t find it anywhere in the fridge. This search went on for 20 minutes when it was interrupted by a phone call from the school saying my son need to be picked up from school.
I tried to resist jumping to conclusions, but when I saw my son covered in vomit in the nurse’s office my worst fears were confirmed. I murmured something about “my son’s delicate stomachs” at the nurse’s and quickly hurried him to the car. There he admitted that he had (as he was prone to doing) snuck a “Jell-O” cup for desert from the storage fridge in the morning, but that ended up being my sample. Clearly he needs to be more discerning about “liquidy lemon jello” in unfamiliar containers, because he tried to scarf it down and proceeded to vomit all over himself.
TLDR: Son mistook my urine sample for lemon Jello-O, ends up vomiting on school mates.
Submitted April 07, 2015 at 09:53PM by firsttimedaddude http://ift.tt/1Cj4Sjk tifu
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