I'll try to make this short. Recently my wife and I had gotten into an argument. It wasn't a bad one but it was frustrating. In my frustration I ended up banging my fist into the door. I did not deliberately punch the door, I swung my arm at length sideways meaning to hit the jam and it wasn't even hard. However it was still a stupid move as the door is basically cardboard and I ended up denting it. For whatever reason.. my wife's mother ( whos how we have lived in for some time helping with things ) flips the fuck out. Words are exchanged and long story short I am now not allowed to pass into the main part of the house for ANY reason other then once a day to shower. I cannot get to my Refrigerator, I cannot cook, and I cannot take care of the family dog as I have been doing for 5 years now. I am stuck in a 12' by 10' room with an outdoor porta potty for my bathroom.
To say this is cruel is massively falling short. My wife is not in the best of health and I now need to rely on her for everything not in the room, Meals, drinks, everything. I can't even grab a snack if I wanted it. I have been in tears on and off for a couple of days now... my dreams are haunted of being trapped or in a war zone with no way to escape.
what makes this worse is I DO have 2 huge holes in my door.. but not from me.. from my Brother-in-law ( my wife's Brother ) nothing was ever said about that. My sister-in-law has stoles hundreds of dollars in Jewelery from my Mother-in-law as well as MY WEDDING RING. My other Brother-in-Law is a Certified PEDOPHILE.. but that's all okay.
I'm the monster... you know why I'm the monster? It's because I'm White.. as stupid as that might sound.. it's true... My wife is Hawaiian, as is her family. Because I'm White that means I'm Haole ( basically a word that use to mean outsider which is now basically a slang term equal to calling someone a nigger ) I have never been truly accepted by most of them. I have done everything I can to keep my impact small. Just keeping to myself as much as possible. I have done things that I can for the house. My Mother-in-law use to have full access to my car to use as she needed. My wife and I use to work around her schedule so she could do what she needed. I often bought my Mother-in-law little gifts. Candles, Incense, and the likes to show caring and respect.. and this is how I get treated in the end.
My wife and I are trying to move out, however we are both disabled and so we need help. Hud and low income housing can take months to years to help. So until that happens, or some random act of god or kindness sweeps in, ( Like she fucking dies ) We are stuck here living like this.
I'm trying to make it as simple as possible. I can;t for a month but I'm going to get a hot plate or something I can cook outside with ( maybe a grill ) and I'm honestly wondering if I can make some kind of Make shift shower outside so I don't even have to pass through for that. Though I am not gifted in terms of building.
Either way, I'm going to be living like a prisoner for a long time... and to top it all off, just because life has wanted to shit on me a little more. My wife's motherboard on her computer is fizzing out and our refrigerator's freezer is no longer freezing. So I have had to get a new mother board and Find someone to basically give us a fridge. Somehow get my wife's computer repaired. Move a fridge into that house in the few hours my Mother-in-law is not home by myself, move the old fridge out by myself. ( the new one is standard size and not to difficult to do but the old one is a big refer ) Honestly.. you are reading the words of a man who is on the edge of cracking. I should of never moved here... I should of brought my wife to me.
Do yourself a favor.. you EVER get the chance to move to Hawaii for ANY reason... don't, you'll regret it.
Edit : Sorry I failed to make it short
Submitted April 13, 2015 at 08:20AM by XJadynX http://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/32ef3f/ive_become_a_prisoner/ depression
No comments:
Post a Comment