So we have Reception 1 set to December, 2017 and Reception 2 in February, 2018. Alright, let's forward to more recent events.
For anyone curious, here is Part 1
Also, this is a long read so get yourself some munchies and alcohol.
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We wanted to spend Christmas and new years together. So I decided to travel to his country and spend a month or so with him. Technically, I shouldn’t be living with him because in our culture my parents have to throw a grand farewell for their daughter aka grand reception 1. Only then can we move in together. But meh my parents were cool and they are like go forth, go spend some time with him. Since the Nikah, husband moved back to his parents place so we can save money for a house. I know MIL is a bitch, but I was like “how worse can it be? I have never had anyone be so mean to me. And if they ever have, I killed them with kindness. Also I don’t associate with narrow and mean minded people so yeah I had no idea what I was walking into. And I am way waaaaaaaayy to naive, hopeful and always assume the best in people. BOY WAS I WRONG!
So my flight lands 3 AM at night, delayed by 3 hours. I get to their house and she serves me some butter chicken, naan and some crackers with cheese on it. Okay it all seems good. The next day Husband wakes up early, MIL is in the kitchen and he goes “mummy can we have some tea?”. She fucking snaps “Your wife is here. Why should I have to make you tea? Why can’t she?... I mean, honeeeyy your loving wife is here. Isn’t she an expert in cooking?! Of course you guys can cook together. It will be funn funn!! Ask her to make you your tea.”
Later that day, I am in the kitchen and she gives me my set of mug and plate. LMFAO! The coffee mug is probably the oldest piece of ceramic in the house – coffee stained, chipped and colors faded. Likewise, the melamine plate she kept giving me were scratched and stained. You don’t keep plates like that in your house. Normal people throw them out. My mother throws them out in fear that once melamine breaks down, it can be harmful for you. I promised myself that someday when we have our own house, and if she is ever lucky enough to be invited, I will serve her food in a dog bowl. But even then, I am disrespecting innocent little dogs. I’m open to suggestions you guys!!! Y’all can tell me what I should serve her in!
Throughout the next few days, I notice she doesn’t bother to cook much. And she’s always like “there’s food in the fridge if you are hungry”. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but by judging how my family treats their guests, I didn’t think she would tell me to scavenge for my own food. Now I am not a snob but I am sorry I can’t eat butter chicken 5 days in a row. So two weeks into it, I was like fuck it I’m gonna start making my own food. Once she notices I started cooking for myself, THEN she comes down on me with some sly manipulative tone while smirking “are you eating? Do you want me to make anything for you?”. Um no, it’s been 3 weeks, you didn’t make shit for me, I can fend for myself and my husband fine.
She already showed me everything around the kitchen and storage. There are 3 refrigerators in the house – one for my FIL who is disabled and has specific dietary requirements, one for his eldest sister/my SIL who has some serious personal issues (will get to that later), and third fridge which doesn’t have a lot of produce, just a lot of leftover food. It took me sometime to realize, I was not to take food out of SIL’s fridge. It’s so fucking weird guys. They are supposedly a family but act like roommates. And I am the female roommate all the other bitches in the house hates. Anyways, eventually I got fed up and I started doing my own damn grocery. Luckily, I love cooking and I’m good at it. So I had no problem making food for myself and hubby, which I guess came as a shocker to them, they didn’t expect me to be good at it I guess. I have been here almost 5 months now, I have NEVER seen my SIL cook anything. Even her simple sunny side up egg in the morning is made by mommy dearest and taken upstairs so she can be spoonfed. She is 35 right now, just a fyi.
At first, I didn’t know the specific fridge rules and MIL never specified to me that “do not take stuff from my daughter’s fridge”. Eventually, I started eating more salads because -
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I gotta start eating healthy bc I don’t wanna look like a fuckin balloon for the receptions
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It was the quickest thing to whip up, and avoid the damn kitchen.
I went out and got spring mix, fruits and toppings what not, I chose not to get any salad dressings because they have at least 5-6 different salad dressings in the fridge. No point in buying another one, knowing they go bad real quick. So I noticed there are two bottles of Olive Garden italian vinaigrette - one sealed/unopened, one almost finished, just couple tablespoons left. My way of thinking is that - this is almost done, I’m just gonna take a little from it because noone seems to have used this one in awhile. I didn’t wanna open the new one. Now, there is always a heavy luggage in front of my SIL’s fridge. And I always move it away because well, its hard to walk around it and IDK why the ef a luggage is doing in front of a fridge. So 2 days later,
MIL: how come you are moving the luggage? Keep it right in front of the fridge because your FIL steals food from your SIL’s fridge
What the heck....How do you steal food from your own house? Um okaaay......
Me: oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was there for a reason. I thought someone keeps putting the luggage here because the garage is filled up completely and there’s no place for it.
Now remember guys she’s a hoarder
MIL: how come you keep opening my daughter’s fridge?
Me: Oh, I’ve been eating a lot of salad lately and this fridge happens to have all the dressings.
So the next day, she brings out an old Kraft Italian dressing which was stuck at the very back of the fridge. She asked me if that’s the one I want and I’m like “no it’s cool, don’t worry about it”. Later that day, I notice the Olive Garden bottle is filled up all the way and she put it in the fridge in the kitchen. Again, naturally I always assume the best in people and thought she probably noticed I like this salad dressing so she kept it here for me. I am obviously too dumb to realize she’s being a nasty piece of shit up to no good. The following day, I whip up my favorite salad, pour the dressing and take a bite. I FUCKING KID YOU NOT, it tastes like ..... the oil broke down....the entire salad tasted rotten. I was taken aback at first because I just had it yesterday, but of course there was only a little bit left in the bottle and today the bottle is more than half-full. Then it dawns on me, she did not give me the new unopened bottle because that is still in the fridge! No, she did not half the dressing either from the new bottle either because it’s still sealed.........
GUESS WHAT THIS BITCH DID!? SHE PULLED OUT ALL THE DRESSINGS THATS GONE BAD, POURED IT ALL IN THE OLIVE GARDEN BOTTLE AND MIXED IT. The kraft vinaigrette is gone, the other old bottles of caesar and ranch is also gone. ALL THOSE SALAD DRESSINGS WERE FUCKING EXPIRED AND SHE KNEW IT TOO!! BITCH WAS TRYING TO GIVE ME A DIARRHEA AND KILL ME IDK WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
Ugh, I was fucking done eating salad
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Anything and everything I made, she would have some kinda rules and comment about it. Oh you are making Desi style hashbrown for breakfast? Don’t put too much turmeric. We don’t like eating turmeric in this house. Bitch, I am not making it for you and I am not making white people hasbrown. It’s fucking desi food - guys, look up “aloo bhaji”. It’s yellow! You eat it with fucking roti. GTFO BITCH.
Few days later, I make spicy peanut soba noodles. Hubby is obsessed with it but she won’t even take a bite. My SIL comes home later that night, tries it and obviously took a liking to it. The next day, MIL comes along all chatty “make sure you make more of these noodles next time, my daughter took quite a liking to it. Use a bigger frying pan next time. You are very good at cooking so it seems. Just make sure you use less pepper because my daughter can’t eat so spicy.”. BITCH! ITS CALLED THAI SPICY PEANUT NOODLES FOR A FUCKING REASON! When someone genuinely compliments you, it feels good! But this wasn’t the case. This was just some next level power trip talking down at me bullshit.
My BIL and his wife are cool people and I get along with them very well. So they drop by one day to see me now that I am here, so MIL is planning what to make for dinner. So I ask her if I can make something, maybe appetizer. We come up with chicken wings and garlic bread (which I made couple days ago and lol her daughter loved it). So I make a whole bunch and it goes pretty quick. She comes by in the kitchen and asks me if there is more garlic bread and did I save some for her daughter because she won’t be home until later tonight?. I tell her yeah, there are about 4 or 5 left. OF COURSE IT’S NOT ENOUGH FOR HER!!! Instead of asking herself, she sends my nephew (BIL’s son) to tell me how he liked it a lot and if I could make for her. I’m not gonna say no to this kid even though her mom and I both overheard the conversation. Our MIL telling him “You liked the garlic bread didnt you? It was really yummy right? Go ask Aunty to make you some more. Of course you want more! Yes you do!!! Go ask your aunt”. Poor little boy had couple more garlic bread just to appease his rotten grandmother but I made a whole new batch. I know where that’s going - RIGHT INTO HER DAUGHTER’S FRIDGE!
GUESS WHAT GUYS? GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! Over the next few days, she doesn’t end up finishing all the garlic bread because she obviously got too sick of eating it. So fucking MIL keeps putting it on our dinner table, when she notices my husband and I are to eat dinner soon. NO I WILL NOT EAT YOUR DAUGHTERS LEFTOVER, NEITHER WILL MY HUSBAND. You fucking manipulated a child and me into making more garlic bread. YOU FUCKING EAT IT!! You guys know what else she does? Whenever mom and daughter gets take out and my SIL doesn’t finish it. She keeps giving her leftover to us!!! I will not eat your daughter’s half eaten chicken wrap, or her half eaten garbage dosa. FUCK OFF! I HAVE HAD MUCH BETTER DOSA AND IF WE WANT DOSA, WE WILL GO OUT AND GET IT MADE FRESH.
The weather is starting to get hot and husband and I decide to do a bbq on a sunday. It’s probably because I am brown, but I love me some properly grilled tandoori chicken - which yes it is spicy and I have my own unique recipe I follow. Of course, as usual husband ends up loving it. MIL doesn’t bother trying it until her daughter gets home later at night (she works weird hours). Again next day, “my daughter liked it a lot, can you make it again in a few days?” So I make it for her again. A week later, she asks me to make it again cuz her daughter keeps asking for it. This is a 35 year old woman, who cannot fucking come downstairs and tell me herself “Hey, I loved the tandoori you made. Can you show me the recipe so I can attempt it myself once you are gone?” OH NO NO NO, SHE IS GONNA ASK MOMMY DEAREST, TO TELL ME TO MAKE IT FOR HER. ASSHOLES. She can’t even be bothered to make a conversation with me! Just like the fucking garlic bread, the next few weeks the tandoori chicken kept ending up on the dinner table just as husband and I are about to have dinner. UM NO! I WILL NOT EAT YOUR DAUGHTER’S LEFTOVER CHICKEN! YOU CAN FUCK OFF.
Then she has the audacity to tell me how her daughter cooks really well. She looooves cooking. BITCH WHERE?! I have been here 5 months now. I have not seen her step into the kitchen even for 10 mins to make anything. Don't tell me she is busy with work. I worked and went to school and still managed to find time for cooking because I actually loooooooove cooking. Whatever, to each their own. But please don't come parade your fucking daughter off to me. I don't have the patience to hear nonsense. She can't even fucking put together a bowl of cereal and milk and gets her mom to do it. My ass, she loooooooooves cooking.
This probably trumps it all. Lol! Seeing as my MIL completely gave up cooking for my husband, I was cooking more and more. She makes lunch and dinner for her daughter everyday which we aren’t allowed to eat of course. Since I have arrived, mother-daughter resorted to eating upstairs. They won’t eat in the dining table when I am around. Now, I am not used to this much cooking and back home, I cooked because it was a hobby, I liked trying different recipes. It wasn’t so I had to cook everyday cuz my mom did most of it. I made dinner 2-3 times a week since I was busy with work and school. And the other thing is, as much as I love cooking, I don’t feel comfortable doing it in my MIL’s kitchen. So my husband is like “babe we will go out for dinner time to time”. We would order a little bit more so we could bring it back and there will be leftovers for next day or for him to take to work. But, I just can’t be mean to people. There are 3 other people in this house and if I bring back food from outside, of course I am gonna offer it to them. My MIL’s reaction - “Are these leftovers? Or did you order food for us? My daughter and I aren’t eating leftovers”
Then one night she tells my husband “since you and your wife like to go out a lot, make sure whenever you guys go out from now on, you order a dish for me and my daughter and bring it back. We don’t want leftovers. She gets home late from work and she is always hungry”. Wait what? Hungry? Um don’t you get up early in the morning and take her breakfast for her upstairs everyday? Wait don’t you make salad for her everyday and prep her lunch box? Wait wait, don’t you get up at 11 pm at night and warm up dinner for her and spoonfeed her when she gets home?? Then wash her dishes for her? She is still hungry after all that?!?!?! My husband fucking lost it on her. First of all, my SIL earns way more than my husband yet she couldn’t be bothered to EVER bring anything for us. Not even a fucking bar of chocolate. And now whenever we go out, we have to especially order a dish for mother and daughter. Second, the whole reason we started going out more and more because my MIL couldn’t give a shit if we starved or not. Forget me, what about her son?! Now she has the audacity to ask us to bring food. My husband straight up told her to fuck off.
It gets even better because she tried to guilt trip us for it couple days later. We told her we are going to Costco and if she needs anything. She doesn’t. So we go and do grocery - not just for us, but also what my FIL, MIL and possibly what my SIL might like to eat. Even after all this, I still consider the entire family when I do grocery. My husband completely gave up on them but I still try. So we come back and as soon as we get it, MIL tells us she is stepping out for a few to grab some Chipotle and if we want anything. Well, the nearest chipotle is right adjacent to Costco. So we tell her no thank you but also tell her instead of her having to go alone, she could have just asked us to bring back chipotle since it is right beside Costco. OH MAN ANOTHER POWER TRIP!
*“Oh no no, clearly I have asked you guys for waaaayyy tooo much, which is why you hurt my feelings. I don’t wanna ask you guys for anything anymore. I just want you and your wife to be happy. That’s all that really matters to me”
LOL YEAH OK!
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SIL works weird hours and on her days off, mom and daughter spend their time holding hands upstairs and watching Indian soap operas. If you guys are brown, you know what I’m talking about - these soap operas are all about evil mother in laws, innocent daughter in law or vice versa. Perhaps, this is where mother and daughter pick up their assholery from. Not once, NOT ONCE, did they invite me upstairs to their room to watch TV with them? There were times my husband wasn’t home and mother-daughter went out shopping, mall, restaurant and never asked me to go with them. I mean forget asking me to come along, at least tell me we are going out. They just leave and I have to ask my FIL where they went. Honestly, it feels like high school bullying. We have MIL hag Regina George and my SIL is like her little pet Gretchen from Mean Girls.
Now I’m all about looking pretty and I am a makeup hoarder. Yes I am. So when I travel, I travel with a lot of my stuff. An entire brush set, 5 eyeshadow palettes, 20 lipsticks...ok I’m gonna stop. But the one thing I forgot this time was my nail polish remover. Again, I assume the best in people and I’m like maybe I can ask my SIL to borrow her nail polish remover and later when I go out this week, I will buy one. Husband is also like “yeah yeah babe, just ask my sis. She has loads of nail polish and stuff”. So I ask SIL and she happily obliges and I’m like okaaay I will give it back to you as soon as I am done. Now mom-daughter were going out then, and hubby just got home so we figured, it’d be nice to have some alone time together wink. So I decide, later tonight I will fix my nails and do an at home pedi. I KID YOU NOT. They come back an hour later....and SIL calls me as soon as she enters the house.
SIL: Hey are you done with the nail polish remover? I want it back.
Me: ohhhh....um yeah sure hold on let me grab it
SIL: oh did you not use it yet?
Me: um I got caught up with other stuff so I didn’t get a chance to. Don’t worry. Another time.
it almost felt like she felt bad asking me for it but FUCKING MIL chimes in right then!!!!
MIL: Yeaaah, she needs the remover back cuz you are gonna paint your nails that new blue color. Aren’t you my precious??
SIL: what new blue color?
MIL: The new blue color! The new nailpolish you just bought! You have been waiting to put it on all day!
SIL: Idk what you are talking about mom.
it was just so obvious MIL was making up shit to justify her daughter needing the nail polish remover back but clearly SIL wasn’t in on her manipulating scheme
IT’S FUCKING EMBARRASSING YOU GUYS THAT PEOPLE CAN BE THIIIISSSSS PETTY!!! A nail polish remover costs $2. I didn’t ask to borrow her car or something...lol.
I told my BIL’s wife about this and she was so embarrassed over what happened. Just to make me feel better, she went out and bought me a nail polish remover and two nailpolishes.
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So a month into be staying here, MIL asks me if I miss my parents. The conversation goes like this.
Her: Are you doing okay? Do you miss your parents?
Me: yeah I do but it doesn’t bother me much because this is a temporary stay. I haven’t officially moved here for good. Besides, it’s a 4 hr flight. I can go whenever I want.
Her: yeah you are right. I had it really tough when I moved here. I missed my family a lot. Unlike you, I was very very very close to my parents and siblings.
BITCH WTF!? What kinda hate are you spewing again? You were close to your family? The same parents and siblings who disowned you for being a cousin fucker? Oh your younger sister was set to marry this cousin? Oh but you stole him from her because you turned out to be a hoe who got her panties up in a bunch every time you saw your cousin? And you cheated on your husband for the entirety of your marriage with this cousin and then secretly married him instead? The same siblings who took all of your inheritance because they fear you will hand it all over to this guy? The entire family are greedy fuckers. Maybe in part 3, I will tell you what they did to my husband.
And what about this wonderful family values you have that I don’t…. Did you manage to pass it along to your own kids? You still breastfed daughter ignores her youngest brother/my husband. In the entire month of April, they talked once because he texted her to move her car. They live under the same roof but she can’t be bothered to maintain a relationship with her brother. Ok fine, let’s talk about a different sibling, my BIL and his wife also completely cut out my SIL, because again she is flat out rude to his wife, completely neglects her existence and treated her like shit. The same way my MIL and SIL also treats me like shit. When I came here, I put together really nice baskets with makeup, skincare and body stuff for both my MIL and SIL. They took one look at it and said “we are your family, you don’t need to be so formal with us”. Um okay, this isn’t about formality. I like to give gifts to people. I’ve always been like that and it’s fucking christmas! Then SIL’s bday was in February and I put together a book, some tea and a pretty bracelet for her, even though my husband warned me not to bother. So I give her the gift right at midnight and her reaction “Aw! Thanks....” in a petty tone. Imagine Regina George thanking me. Yeah that! She never once thanked her brother even though it was with his money, I bought the gift. I can’t work here yet because my immigration is still in process and I am waiting for my work permit. Anyways, it has been 5 months now and not once she bought anything for me. Don’t buy me gifts. Get me a fucking chocolate. Anything.
Some family teaching you have and passed on to your kids huh?! I like to think the only reason my husband and BIL are social and nice to people because they lived outside of home during their college life. They were able to have friends and learned what it is to be genuine and kind to people. I also believe, us wives also had some input in this bc we were able to make them understand what real family values should look like and what kind of love and respect should siblings have towards each other by showing our relationship with our siblings.
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Alright, that's enough writing and reading for now.
Maybe in couple days I will write Part 3 and tell you guys
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what happened to my husband growing up
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why we decided to stay in this house with buncha POS (we are seriously considering moving out soon)
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a bit more about my FIL - he is also a fucking a selfish looney but I'd rather deal with him everyday then HAG MIL
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a bit more about why my SIL is coddled, which still does not justify her fucked up entitled behavior
ps. Guys, I am not exaggerating. Not even one bit. All of this really happened.
Submitted May 01, 2017 at 11:15PM by NarcissistInLaws http://ift.tt/2porDXA raisedbynarcissists
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