I over explain everything, I can’t help it. So you were warned. I have had the good fortune of meeting an absolutely amazing woman. I think the world of her. She is brilliant, she is beautiful, and if she were making this post it would probably say the exact same things.
We’re both scientists. I have undergrad degrees in C.S. and Physics. She has her P.H.D. in Wildlife ecology. At the core of our relationship is a love of nature. When it comes to anything “big” in relationships, we’re both in complete agreement. Be it evolution, climate change, existence (or lack thereof) of gods, how relationships should work. Basically anything “important” we both agree on. We both also work really hard to recognize our own failures. I’m not in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care, and doesn’t struggle because she cares. So this post isn’t about her failures, or even mine. It’s about our failures. I know I’m putting her on a pedestal here, but I’m the one making the post, she’d do the same to me if it were her. Fact of the matter is I know she tries her hardest, and I know she cares, a lot. I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her words. So this post isn’t a post where one of us is failing the other. We’re both failing…
I fuck up. A lot. I say stupid shit I don’t mean, I get hurt by things that shouldn’t hurt me. I reject things that are outside my way of doing things because I am old. You know, classic stupid shit. Point being it’s not just her, it’s me too. I want us to get past this because frankly I don’t like her being unhappy any more than I enjoy being unhappy myself. So on to the point….
We argue about the most absurd, stupid shit imaginable. I’ll give some examples:
- Exactly how many notes exist between octaves in Western music.
- The precise definition of handsaw VS. woodsaw.
- Precisely where things belong in the refrigerator.
- Good one: What’s “better” Mac or PC?
- Are .csv files good or does any delimiter suffice? (I hurt her feelings over this)
- Can an electric dog fence kill you? (Ohm’s Law says yes)
- The Intermediate Value Theorm and its application in the Borsuk-Ulam Theorem and if the assumptions are valid.
- The minimum radius of a ball of water in space that will produce enough pressure to solidify water at the core.
- What exactly does “work” mean in physics.
I think you get the point. We both do the same shit to each other, when we don’t understand something the way we gain understanding is by intense questioning and skepticism. That and we are both pretentious about our areas of expertise “really, you’re going to believe the guy trying to sell you a car at the dealership about mechanical work and blow me off with my degree in physics???”. To be fair, in our argument about electric dog fences, I looked her dead in the eye and said, and I quote “I know more about how electricity works than you ever will”. WTF?
I’m 38 years old. I have been in plenty of relationships. She is unique, I have never been in a relationship with someone like her. I love her for her mind, and her beautiful ideas. How do we fix this, and stop doing this to each other? How do I be a better boyfriend?
Thanks ahead of time….
tl;dr: How do two scientists who are pedantic about everything stop being pedantic about everything?
Submitted February 07, 2017 at 07:31AM by WorthlessPhysicist http://ift.tt/2kldSWZ relationships
No comments:
Post a Comment