St.peter was standing at his podium next to the gates of heaven... Jokes

He was flipping through the pages of a magazine, bored, when God appeared in a flash of light. "Peter", he said. "Heaven has become a bit overcrowded. I'm afraid we're going to have to make some changes to policy. From now on, when people approach the gates, ask them what kind of day they had. Only permit them entry if they've had an exceptionally bad day." Peter shrugged and nodded his head, returning his attention to his magazine. An hour or so later, a man arrived at the gates. Ever diligent, Peter explained the new policy to the man and ask him about his day. "You wouldn't believe it Peter", he said. "I came home early to my fourth-floor apartment to find that my wife had been cheating on me with another man. I tore the house apart looking for the guy, my wife screaming at me all the while. Then I spotted him. He was hanging onto the railing of my balcony by his fingers, so I began stomping them. Eventually he fell, but he survived the fall. In a rage, I pushed the refrigerator from the kitchen to the balcony and over the rails, crushing him. Afterwards, the stress and physical exertion was too much. I died of a heart attack on the spot." Peter considered it for a moment, and concluded that it was indeed a terrible day. He permitted the man entrance and returned to his magazine. A short while later, another man arrived. Peter again explained the policy and waited for the man's story. "Well Peter, it's pretty crazy. I was doing my daily aerobics routine on the balcony of my fifth-floor apartment when I slipped on a spot of mildew and fell over the rails. Somehow though, I managed to grab hold of the railing on the next floor down! But before I could pull myself up, the man who lives there came out and started stomping on my hands! I never had a chance to explain. He'd broken most of my fingers and I wasn't able to hold on anymore. The fall broke several of my bones, but miraculously I was alive! I was just about to say a prayer of thanks when I looked up to see the man pushing a refrigerator over the rails to finish the job! Unable to move from my injuries, I couldn't escape and well, here I am." Secretly realising the irony of the situation, Peter waved him in, doing his best to stifle a chuckle. Before he could return to his magazine, however he looked up to see that another man had already arrived at the gates. Once again, he explained the new policy and awaited the man's story. After a long, contemplative pause, the man spoke. "Okay Peter. Picture this. I'm butt naked, and I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

Submitted December 10, 2016 at 08:21AM by h8yuns http://ift.tt/2hw0080 Jokes