My (24F) siblings/stepmom (16F, 13F, 50sF) had child services called because of something I said. Advice? relationships

I (24F) live in a different state than my half-siblings (16F and 13M). I have a very good relationship with my sister, though I visit infrequently.

I have always had concerns about, and have not gotten along very well with my stepmother (50s). I have had experiences with her, both recently and as a child, where she clearly demonstrated unstable behavior. Additionally, she is very extreme in her political and religious views. While my father went along with much of it, he could always be relied upon to keep things in check when they were going too far (ie: he vetoed banning my siblings from reading books with magic, and would not let stepmom take them out of school for a week to protest abortion in Washington DC). He also was the only one who worked despite bad spending choices when they were younger and mountains of debt.

Last summer, my father died. He was ill but recovering, so it was still unexpected. I was understandably already concerned for my siblings, but this only worsened when I came for the funeral. The house was beyond messy, it was in a complete state of disarray with furniture destroyed, food everywhere, and a refrigerator that had broken three years earlier. I was told my siblings pretty much fended for themselves for dinner, which was clear from the amount of soda and pizza remains in their room. I was also concerned about their finances, the fact that they were losing the house, and worried that stepmom's instability was likely to worsen without my dad.

Unfortunately I have been unable to get my sister alone for long enough to ask how things are going in detail, but she has described ridiculous spending (new tvs, game systems, etc despite money troubles) and more worrisome, my sister is often skipping school, and her mother is aware and allowing it. She constantly talks about getting into college and living away from home, but I don't think she realizes how competitive it can be for the scholarships she would need, how expensive it really is, etc. She is very intelligent and used to enjoy school, however she now says that is too boring for her. I keep trying to tell her that she needs to go, and to keep up her GPA or she won't be able to go to college (at least not when/where she wants to) but she is extremely negative.

I was concerned and contacted our aunts with what was going on. Stepmom has also cut siblings off from contact with all of dad's family since the funeral, ignores all of their calls, demonizes them, etc. She even had bad things to say about my 10 year old cousin. My dad used to love going to big family gatherings etc., but had stopped for the last few years, and had a strained relationship with some of them. Both I and my aunts and uncles think it was less of him and more of her influence.

I was hoping that I would get some advice from my aunts, or that they would try again to get in touch, however instead they called child welfare services. My aunt (50s) who made the call advised me not to tell my siblings I had anything to do with it.

I'm now completely freaking out. Despite the issues, I do not think they should be taken away from their mother. They are both in their teens, and have already had to deal with the loss of their father. I don't approve of stepmom's parenting, but they are not being abused, and at this point I think this would cause them more harm than good. From what little I know of these sorts of things, I feel like it is unlikely they will actually be taken away. However, I think it is pretty much impossible that they won't associate me with what's happened. Even if they believe that I didn't call, they will KNOW that I told a relative something that led to this. I'm extremely concerned that this will cause stepmom to cut off their communication from me, or that worse, my siblings will be so upset with me that they stop speaking to me of their own accord. Aside from the fact that I would be horribly depressed about this, I also think that they really need someone's influence that isn't in the little bubble that their mom has built around them.

I don't know whether to completely play dumb as my aunt suggests, or fess up that I know what's going on but didn't want any of this to happen.

I feel extremely guilty that I said anything at all.

I am not sure how to proceed, or how to process all of this.

Before this, I was writing one of these just for suggestions about what to do about my sister, and how to be a good influence without being overbearing. So any advice appreciated.

TL;DR: Sister skipping school, told aunts, they called child services, worried this will ruin our relationship, what do.

Submitted March 02, 2015 at 11:06AM by greenscenequeen http://ift.tt/1BvUl8T relationships