We recently got engaged and are set to get married next year. We are currently in the process of moving in together. We had decided on where to move in to but I recently found a place that's perfect - closer to my workplace (he works from home), has refrigerator, dishwasher & laundry. Meets all of our requirements, budget and more. Basically perfect for us.
However, it ended up being a cause for a fight. Here is how our conversation via text went:
Me: Link to place with comment saying it's perfect.
Him: Those look nice
Me: You don't like them? Do you like the places in (insert area where he currently lives here and where we had been looking - it's an hour+ of commute for me because I don't drive) better?
Him: tbh I'd just rather not go on another failed viewing expedition all the way over there (we initially tried to look for places close to my workplace but it was such a headache - apartment already rented out, managers not showing up at the designated time)
Me: I'll call before we go. I mean if we can get a place that's closer to where i work and i won't have to hitch rides, i'd rather do that
Him: So we're just doing whatever you want?
Me: No? We'll still apply at the townhouse (our number one choice from all the apts we saw over the weekend in his neighborhood) if we like it?? But the apartment close to my workplace looks bigger and better. Seriously, it's a great deal. Or do you just want to stay close to your area so moving is easier for you whilst i'll have to be doing the 1 hr commute if things go sour with my coworker (coworker lives in his area and is willing to carpool with me to & from work).
Him: No you're doing your typical change your mind 100 times thing
Me: I am still open to living in your area?? But the apartment close to work sounds and looks amazing. Even better than our number 2 and number 1 option combined. The fact that you refuse to even see it or apply for it is weird to me though. I feel you're being unfair and closed-minded right now, considering how awesome the apt close to work sounds/looks on photos.
Him: I'm upset because I thought we were getting settled on the general area we were looking in and now it's like what was the point of last weekend? I feel like my time and effort are being wasted. and now idk if I want to pay $40 to apply for the townhouse
Me: I understand. The townhouse in your area is still our number one choice though. I feel we'd be missing out on the apt close to my workplace if we didn't at least try to see it/apply for it. It's perfect! I'll pay for the application for the townhouse if that's your point of contention.
Him: And what happens when you find something even more perfect next week? Are we ever going to settle on a place?
Me: I did say i would still be looking around until we can get applications in. When we get applications in, I won't be looking around anymore. It's the fact that we haven't submitted applications and we might lose the ones we saw last weekend that makes me want to look some more.
Him: If you could have gotten to your id and ssn ealier we'd already have the application in. But fine, we'll go see this one. W/e (whatever).
Me: My ID card literally just arrived on Sat (lol emoji)
Him: You could have picked it up cause you were by your place on Monday. (I was staying at his place).
Me: Well ok then. SORRY my struggles are inconvenient for you. Sorry I just wanted to get lunch and relax after seeing the mugger (i got mugged recently & she got caught) and getting questioned in court? Your wins since it's close to you and you won't have to undergo the commute anyway so you don't care. (Smiley face) I get it.
Him: ok. i'm done talking to you about this. you said you understand what i said. but you dont fucking listen to me. I gotta work. rather than argue with someone who doesnt listen. DONE. STOP.
Me: Lol trust me - I was DONE the moment you started blaming me for shit I had no control over. Blocking you now. Bye.
We usually only fight like this over text but our arguments can get heated - in person or not.
Tl;dr Fighting over the neighborhood to move to. Who's in the wrong?
Submitted July 07, 2017 at 01:22AM by throwawaystickies http://ift.tt/2sRB6Fq relationships
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