TIFU by trying to get along with my elderly coworkers. tifu

This "FU" happened this week.

So the past few months, I've had a problem in the office where I work. Specifically, the air conditioning or lack thereof.

Now, I generally run pretty hot. I think it's because my body is constantly fighting off a seemingly perpetual yeast infection amongst other things. A steady stream of sweat permeates from my arm pits, my hands, my underboob; but it's at its worst around my taint. I swear I could soak a ShamWow within an hour. Because of this, I need to blast the AC in my apartment.

Unfortunately, at my job, most of my coworkers are older women and a their decades spent sitting in place had cursed them with poor circulation. This meant they are always chilly and exceedingly loathe to use the office AC. Since they outnumber me (though I'm sure I could have taken down at least half a dozen of them if it had there had been fisticuffs), I was left with no choice but to stew in my own perspiration.

Recently, though, I devised a way to cool off without annoying the rest of the old shrews in the office. Each morning, I bring in several pairs of underwear and place them in the breakroom refrigerator. Throughout the day, whenever my current ones became too warm and saturated with sweat from my naughty bits, I swap them out for a fresh pair. Kind of like switching out tires on a racecar. Each new set blast chills my gonads and, by extension, the rest of my body.

So this worked for about a month. Then, Beverly from accounts receivable found my stash. It was in a paper bag clearly marked with my name. That dumb rag probably thought she was about to surreptitiously swipe the tuna sandwich from my lunch sack without my knowing. Instead, she got a fistful of sweaty, skidmark-stained panties (it was near lunchtime so I'd already swapped out for freshies quite a few times).

Maybe she would have kept this discovery to herself. Unfortunately, the old cow passed out on the breakroom floor with them clenched firm in hand. That's where they found her.

After we brief internal investigation the next day, it was decided that Beverly did nothing wrong and also that the breakroom needs a new refrigerator. Oh, yeah; my employment has also been terminated, which means I have to go back to living with my nana.

Submitted October 31, 2015 at 07:52PM by _vargas_ http://ift.tt/1MopCvd tifu