Saturday, December 23, 2017

I feel like I need to cry... offmychest

I'm 21, male (if that matters), and a junior in college and this last month has been the most miserable of my life. I was looking forward to the Christmas break as the last semester mentally and physically drained me and I hadn't seen my family in about a year, but about a week into the break my parents started fighting and decided to divorce (this is the second time they've decided this in the last couple months, FYI...they got back together after they decided for the first time).

Anyway, from there my newly homeless mom, brother, and I left the house, where my stepdad and step siblings are still staying, at about 9pm one night, after hours of grueling fighting. Queue the stress, I spent the whole next week worrying about where my brother and I would sleep, eat, and how I'd keep my 13 year old brother occupied and satisfied that his life wasn't 100% terrible. My mom stayed with a friend that didn't have room for all of us, and she (my mom) worked all day, every single day. I happened to have a friend call that night and want to talk, but he could tell something was wrong and offered to let us stay at his house for the night so a place to sleep was taken care of temporarily (I was worried about it daily, as I never knew whether or not my friend had plans and I didn't want to wreck them.)

Anyways, my mom found a place for us to stay, thankfully bringing an end to their (our?) little stint of homelessness, however, I've not had a single day of peace because my mom had a protective order put on her and my little brother keeping my stepdad away from them due to some incidental injuries both she and my stepdad sustained fighting (foot and hand caught in refrigerator, cuts from fighting over keys, etc.)

Now, instead of them working things out like adults, I have to mediate between them as it's illegal for them to be within 100 yds of eachother or even speak to one another and all they do is constantly nag and complain about eachother to me. Each trying to win me over to their side of the story even after I've told them I'll never pick a side between them. All the while, my stepdad is trying to portray the pinnacle of a righteous God-fearing Christian and my mom is completely blowing minor details out of proportion believing it to be part of a plot against her set in motion by my stepdad.

Today was supposed to be my day of peace, the one day where I could finally sit in my mom and brother's little house, on their tiny couch where I've been sleeping, and do nothing but enjoy my day. But of course it was another day full of drama about visitation. My stepbrother wanted to see my mom (he considers her his mom as I consider my stepdad my dad) which is legal, but it's illegal for my brother to see my stepdad. "How is that fair" My stepdad asks? It's not, but it's the law currently...but he doesn't understand so he complains to me like I can fix it. Because he wants me to, he wants me to convince my mom to drop the protective order which she'll never do because she feels like he was intentionally violent towards her, purposefully slammed her foot in the door, gouged her leg with keys, tried to headbutt her. Maybe he did, I didn't see it, she says it happened so I'm inclined to believe her. He says it didnt, so I'm inclined to believe him. I'll never convince either of them of anything so I'm not going to try.

It's Christmas and none of us know if it's legal to give presents with a protective order in force, nevertheless, I'm tasked with dealing out presents while ensuring no one goes to jail. Passing messages while ensuring they're worded so that it seems like it's my idea.

To top it off, my car has begun overheating, the girl I hoped to be with has disappeared from my life (not even because I've been complaining to her, I tried not to put his stuff on anyone that I wasn't bumming off of. I felt like they deserved to know.), and I'm currently unable to sleep on the most uncomfortable piece of furniture I've ever had the misfortune to lay on.

If you're still reading, props to you, thank you. I'm ending this because there's too much going on to put into words and I know everything above is probably poorly structured, hard to understand, and doesn't clearly convey the situation anyways. I feel like crying will make me feel 100% better and I just can't. I'm glad yall are here, but I wish I had more than Internet strangers to talk to :(



Submitted December 24, 2017 at 12:22PM by guter567 http://ift.tt/2znVEII offmychest

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