Do you know how many fucking rejection letters I have gotten? NONE, because they don't even bother to tell me I suck too much to even get a job as a cashier.
Do you know how many places I've applied to? Literally everything within an hour walking distance. I walked an hour in 105 degrees to Walgreens to get told I'm too timid.
I am only 17 and live with my 21 year old SO, and we live in a dump. We're doing our best and it's so bad financially people won't hire me because I smell, or a roach popped out of my shoe in the store (yes, this has happened), or my clothes are torn. I can't just "buy new clothes and tackle the world".
Fuck you, mom. You're a workaholic that's been working tech support for thirteen fucking years and your obsession with perfection is so insane you won't even invite me to Thanksgiving? I don't have fucked up clothes and ten year old hand-me-down shoes because I'm a dirty shit. I live like this because it's all I can afford.
Minimum wage sucks, everything is expensive, I can't drive because I'm legally blind, shit's pretty fucking hard. People don't "car pool" in the middle of shit fuck nowhere.
I'm not skinny because I'm "doing drugs and drinking alcohol", I'm skinny because the only thing I can afford the roaches or rats won't open and eat is spicy ramen. They're in the pantry, kitchen, refrigerator, my room and the bathroom. They're covering the entire room-kitchen-combo shit hole I live in because I'm doing my very best.
Sorry you maxed out my credit cards when I was a teenager, sorry the "dirty democrats" you oh-so-hate and love to blame for everything have ruined your life and made mine easier. Sorry you get tax breaks and I can't get welfare because of a self-harm history and schizophrenia.
Sorry you smoked and drank while you were pregnant with me and now I have autism, anxiety, bad eyes, and poor motor skills. Sorry you drugged me till I was a zombie between the ages of seven and thirteen. Sorry you tried to homeschool me between fourteen and sixteen then kicked me out, leaving me out in the world missing critical social and emotional development everybody else has.
And you know what else? Sorry for not filling what I have assumed now is some sick desire to be shit talked, because you love to bend over and kiss my little brother's ass when he calls you a stupid bitch and threatens you with a knife. You gave him a PS3 for it. You know what I got on my birthday? Nothing, because I didn't ask for anything.
Sorry you didn't want to deal with my cutting and burning problems as a home schooled lonely child and instead called the police on me.
If I can't come over for Christmas I'm blaming my suicide on you. I think you deserve to live with that for the rest of your life.
Submitted September 18, 2016 at 04:53PM by 18bt2 http://ift.tt/2czReGi raisedbynarcissists
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