Hello! I just found this sub, and I love it. I love it so much. I never knew I could love a sub this much until I found it, and that's because at long last, I can finally share the Greatest Thing I've Ever Done, which just so happens to have been completely pointless.
So I like to stay up late. And I mean really, really, late, as in bedtime for me is technically tomorrow. When I was a teenager living with my parents, this presented a problem: other people are smart, and don't do this thing. In fact, many people across the globe enjoy going to sleep at reasonable times, and conversely do not enjoy being woken up during the pitiless hours of night because I wanted Bugles while I played World of Warcraft. Therefore, whenever I'd go to the kitchen at night, I would do everything within my power to be as quiet as a mouse.
It was just a glass of water. I wasn't using the creaky oven, I wasn't getting a crinkly bag of chips, and I wasn't messing around with clanging ceramic plates. Just a plain and simple glass of water. And it was an actual glass, which I didn't think would matter. I was so naive.
We had one of those refrigerators with a water purifier on the front, so I was using that. However, our fridge had doors that would only close all of the way if the left one closed first. The purifier was on the right door, and I had been scanning the fridge through the left door. My phone was in my pocket, where I have always kept it when it isn't charging. When I saw my glass nearing fullness, I pushed the left door closed, took the glass from the fridge, and put it on the counter behind me. Tired, I reached into the air to stretch and yawn, then reached back to the counter for my glass. Wrong spot. So I felt around with my hand open, trying to grasp it in the dark. The glass. But there was something wrong. I only felt it briefly. I didn't grasp it. I just felt a bump, and nothing. After thinking for a moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The glass is falling.
The Perfect Storm had appeared offshore. This was a big glass, and I knew in my mind that it would absolutely wake my parents if it shattered, who would discover me and chew me out. Furthermore, I would have to clean for for-ev-er, because the only thing that would make them angrier than a broken glass at night would be a glass shard in their foot in the morning. And oh man..... Oh Heavens above, if all of this water splashed on me, my phone would be broken. Then how would I Google every single one of my stray thoughts? Sure, my parents needed to sleep so they could earn the money that actually paid for that phone, but like I said, teenager.
There was so little time, but so much to lose. I had to act fast, or I'd be left with nothing but despair. My phone was a lost cause. Water might not even splash me, but if it did, I'd never be able to save it. I accepted this sacrifice, and moved on with resolve. All that mattered now was stopping the impact with the floor, and with my beloved phone resigned to sacrifice itself for me, failure was not an option. I tried to see the trajectory of the glass, but the darkness consumed my vision, and I knew my eyes couldn't help me either. So I closed them, and like an angry god, I reached forth with power and alacrity. It felt like my arm would ignite from the speed. From fall to reach, less than a second passed, but to me, it was like a second lifetime. And yet, all I could do was give my all, reach to where I thought the glass would be, and hope. Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
I caught it. It was there, right there. There it was, in my hand, right there in my hand, right in the hand I had caught with. My brain stuttered and backpedaled. I.... I caught it? Like, nothing bad happened at all? At all? I quickly reached for my phone, then slowed my hand out of general caution from what had just happened. I scanned the floor and the glass. Nothing. Not a single drop of water had left the glass. I paused in disbelief, and realized that my heart was pounding. I became convinced of divine intervention, and all the way back to my room I thought about how if I hadn't been left-handed, the counter would have been in the way, and I never would have made it in time. I told my guild, and they didn't care. I told my friends, and they didn't care. I had never been happier, and may never be that happy again.
About a year later, I broke a thick-walled glass measuring cup while making some pasta, and I almost died on the spot. No one woke up. I cleaned up what I could, but my mom scraped her foot on some glass the next morning. She didn't notice until later that day.
Submitted August 05, 2016 at 08:57AM by loosegooseshoes http://ift.tt/2aS6yy5 PointlessStories
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